(no subject)
Looked at possible universities to apply to...that was depressing. And so is ordering new jeans that don't fit comfortably. I'm feeling depressed about so many things. It's hard to feel good about yourself when you have to worry about an STD, bacterial infection and if your doctor is trying to not to flat out say he's worried you might have cancer.
If I didn't have it then why I do I need to get a test to rule it out? It scares the hell out of me. I don't want to go on Tuesday or have to think about it.
Told Michelle I wanted to be considered for the kitchenware/dinnerware coordinator position since Fadia was promoted to assistant manager. I'unno who else wants to apply for it, but I know not all the people in Home Goods wants to be a coordinator. It means having to switch departments, but I think it'd be better for me. I can't be at work when we get trucks for Marshall, and Jasmine wants to move to the back room to process, which is fine. We hired a lot of new people and put some them to work in the stock room. Makes me worry about my hours.
My relationship feels like it's going down the fucking toilet...why do I feel like I'm fucking it up and going to end up alone? Goddess, I wish I didn't feel so insecure about myself, that I deserve to be loved. It just makes me want to cry that I can't do something that seems so simple for myself. But I know it's. I wish it was.
Maybe when school starts I'll feel better. Doubt I'll feel better -- probably worse from working so many damn hours and going 13 hours. Stupid probabtion. I can't let work get in the way this time. I can't screw up school when I'm three semesters away from graduation.
I just want it go to away...go back to my life before it happened.
If I didn't have it then why I do I need to get a test to rule it out? It scares the hell out of me. I don't want to go on Tuesday or have to think about it.
Told Michelle I wanted to be considered for the kitchenware/dinnerware coordinator position since Fadia was promoted to assistant manager. I'unno who else wants to apply for it, but I know not all the people in Home Goods wants to be a coordinator. It means having to switch departments, but I think it'd be better for me. I can't be at work when we get trucks for Marshall, and Jasmine wants to move to the back room to process, which is fine. We hired a lot of new people and put some them to work in the stock room. Makes me worry about my hours.
My relationship feels like it's going down the fucking toilet...why do I feel like I'm fucking it up and going to end up alone? Goddess, I wish I didn't feel so insecure about myself, that I deserve to be loved. It just makes me want to cry that I can't do something that seems so simple for myself. But I know it's. I wish it was.
Maybe when school starts I'll feel better. Doubt I'll feel better -- probably worse from working so many damn hours and going 13 hours. Stupid probabtion. I can't let work get in the way this time. I can't screw up school when I'm three semesters away from graduation.
I just want it go to away...go back to my life before it happened.