the perils and priviledges of heritage
Last Holy Week I came upon this array of pictures in Santiago Apostol Church in Bulacan where the past benefactors of the church were shown. This section of the Church, the shrines, the prayer rooms, and other places I do not know the names of were donated by my family when my father was the head of the baranggay fiesta. When there was nothing but an ordinary looking pathway at the back of the church now lies a tiled path, passing across a river and a shimmering white statue of Jesus. On the pathway's wall were the images of past fiesta presidents, my father included. I looked at them closely and noticed something very special in the succession of past presidents. I realized that in more instances the past presidents belonged to my clan which dated back many many decades. Seeing this, I could not help but be awed at what my family has done but also feel that I have a lot of measuring up to do.
True we were not really a well known family in other areas, perhaps even in our own province. But seeing one's own heritage no matter how little there is remembered makes me feel that there is greater weight and greater history than what I have ever experienced in my life. I feel like I am the product of a longstanding tradition and am myself an abomination, being that I have not yet lived up to that tradition, even am becoming close to an embarrassment because of my academic failures and social inadequacy. But the tradition is there, the heritage is there, and I cannot fully deny what is mine to have despite my resistance against it.
I am Filipino, Spanish, and Chinese. My father belonged to the Castros, a relative of the Gantioquis of Pampanga, and the Riveras as well as the San Luis of Marilao. My mother belonged to the Vers, a large clan of Ilocano descent(with Gen. Fabian Ver as a relative) and the Macabuhays. Both sides had Chinese blood, moreso on my dad's side, with the Castros (in theory) descending from 17-18th century Chinese traders who settled in the northern part of Luzon. Forced or perhaps coerced by the spanish government to change their names, they had to adopt the Filipino/Spanish surnames of today and cast-off the culture and language and tradition that was theirs. Sadly, no one in the current generation of Castros has managed to bring back our Chinese heritage with a majority seeing themselves as Filipinos being mixed blooded. The Vers and Macabuhays on the other hand, are not entirely of Chinese descent with the Vers descending from Chinese traders who intermarried with the locals in the northern part of the country. The Macabuhays, in my opinion and based on the physical features of my relatives were also a product of the spanish forcing foreigners and locals to change their surnames. There is no native name that is macabuhay after all.
That is all I have discovered. I cannot declare how much of what specific race's blood runs in my veins simply because no known(as of yet) surviving records exist and no one has ever truly bothered to gather information and piece everything together.
Now, I encounter people who declare themselves of pure blood and although I am in good relations with a majority of those whom I have encountered, I am apalled and even irritated at the comments of some of them. Why would there be discrimination against those of not full blood? Especially in the Chinese community. Our family has been here long before any of you have ever set foot in our soil so you and all your discriminating kind should learn to be more open. We have not been discriminatory against you and neither should you of us.
One's capability lies not in their heritage but it is a factor. Yet the truth is, one can survive without not knowing how much of what race is theirs. The fact of the matter is the world is getting smaller by the minute and if people will keep on closing themselves up to others all that will be left of them will be the sick, incestious families simply because they keep on moving in the same family circles and letting their children intermarry with people who might even be their blood relatives.
Mumbling again am I?
True we were not really a well known family in other areas, perhaps even in our own province. But seeing one's own heritage no matter how little there is remembered makes me feel that there is greater weight and greater history than what I have ever experienced in my life. I feel like I am the product of a longstanding tradition and am myself an abomination, being that I have not yet lived up to that tradition, even am becoming close to an embarrassment because of my academic failures and social inadequacy. But the tradition is there, the heritage is there, and I cannot fully deny what is mine to have despite my resistance against it.
I am Filipino, Spanish, and Chinese. My father belonged to the Castros, a relative of the Gantioquis of Pampanga, and the Riveras as well as the San Luis of Marilao. My mother belonged to the Vers, a large clan of Ilocano descent(with Gen. Fabian Ver as a relative) and the Macabuhays. Both sides had Chinese blood, moreso on my dad's side, with the Castros (in theory) descending from 17-18th century Chinese traders who settled in the northern part of Luzon. Forced or perhaps coerced by the spanish government to change their names, they had to adopt the Filipino/Spanish surnames of today and cast-off the culture and language and tradition that was theirs. Sadly, no one in the current generation of Castros has managed to bring back our Chinese heritage with a majority seeing themselves as Filipinos being mixed blooded. The Vers and Macabuhays on the other hand, are not entirely of Chinese descent with the Vers descending from Chinese traders who intermarried with the locals in the northern part of the country. The Macabuhays, in my opinion and based on the physical features of my relatives were also a product of the spanish forcing foreigners and locals to change their surnames. There is no native name that is macabuhay after all.
That is all I have discovered. I cannot declare how much of what specific race's blood runs in my veins simply because no known(as of yet) surviving records exist and no one has ever truly bothered to gather information and piece everything together.
Now, I encounter people who declare themselves of pure blood and although I am in good relations with a majority of those whom I have encountered, I am apalled and even irritated at the comments of some of them. Why would there be discrimination against those of not full blood? Especially in the Chinese community. Our family has been here long before any of you have ever set foot in our soil so you and all your discriminating kind should learn to be more open. We have not been discriminatory against you and neither should you of us.
One's capability lies not in their heritage but it is a factor. Yet the truth is, one can survive without not knowing how much of what race is theirs. The fact of the matter is the world is getting smaller by the minute and if people will keep on closing themselves up to others all that will be left of them will be the sick, incestious families simply because they keep on moving in the same family circles and letting their children intermarry with people who might even be their blood relatives.
Mumbling again am I?