just thinking...

[memento_]

so of course im watching tv today at work instead of getting things accomplished. im watching csi because... it's great, whatever. and one of the csi guys gets really overwhelmed with "the job" at the end of the show. backstory: a girl dies for no fault of her own blah blah blah, it was taylor swift who i think was on american idol? so this guy is crying at the end because of how unfair it is and lawrence fishburn is trying to comfort him by saying some comforting things with tears in his own eyes. and then he walks away. i dont know if this is just a guy thing or a professional thing but it just seems so ridiculous to me to walk away at that point. it really made me think about just how self-contained we are as humans. biologically not as self-sufficient as plants, for example, but still- excluding the need to procreate for the survival of the species we dont necessarily need to depend on anyone else. our bodies function on their own fairly well. for me it just solidified the concept of dying alone. that could be a pretty extreme jump but my mind just went there. if we were meant to be dependent on other people- not in a needy way but just in a symbiotic way- there would be something physiologically within out systems that made that happen.
i needed to write this down so i wouldnt forget the thought.

in other news my parents might finally be selling our house! yayay!
in other news things are still hectic at school, spring break in one week, though! my play is performed one week after that!