Opposites attract

[memememegz]

They say the human body has over 50 billion white blood cells…and I need every single one because you make me...Sick. They say the human intestine runs over 5 metres long...you're so...full...of Shit.You are the fish that I would throw back. But for some reason as opposites, we attract! We show our admiration in love taps, "I Hate You!" matches, and sarcastic wise cracks. All the qualities of my soulmate…you lack. I wrote you a poem once. I mounted and framed it. It was perfect, and you gave me a pat on the back and said, "Hey, good stuff…" That was it. Your attempts at being romantic are simply pathetic. The last massage you gave me required a paramedic. The first time you cooked me dinner I had to pump my stomach. And you just like picking fights. If I say go left, you go right. If I say it's day, you swear it's night. You still think our anniversary is the 10th of May; It's the 9th… Of MARCH! The Golden Arches is the closest thing to jewelry I've ever seen from you. For my last birthday, you gave me a Twinkie...with one candle. You wear socks with your sandals! And not the short ones, the ones that pass your ankles. My idea of a tranquil evening, involves a good book and peppermint tea. Yours only requires your PSP. You're a die hard Nas fan; I like Jay-Z. Like most Black folk and lactose products we just always seem to disagree. You think Angelina Jolie is the epitome of beauty. I think she's overrated and her lips are crusty. You like chicks that are busty, and I'm a proud member of the Itty-Bitty Titty Committee. Now, I'm a country kind of gal; you like the city life. I'm a revolutionary woman; you think we should all be barefoot housewives. I remember the last time I cried…You gently wiped my eyes, and whispered in my ears, "Baby…Suck it up." And I know it's bugged, but I still love you, like Whitney loves crack. Cause for some reason as opposites, we attract. But what matters most is that you complement me, like air through my lungs. And there are over a trillion nerves in the central nervous system…You get on every single one. You know you do…but for some reason, that's why I love you.

-Shanelle Gabriel