busy day
wow, i can't believe i'm up this early, considering that i've been working two jobs all week, and i went to bed last night at 2am.
so let's see, have to pay the utility bills (i don't trust the mail since they lost my payments for gas and electric two months in a row), so i go to the grocery store and pay them. they open at 8am this morning.
so i need to pay that, then clean my offices, then i discovered that we're almost out of coffee (oh the horror!!) so off to costco, get some coffee, probably a carton of cigs. then go into the office and work on those monthly invoices.
woo hoo!! yesterday i got 46 done in 3 1/2 hours!!! that's really great!! considering that the first day i did 8, then i did, 18, then i did 13, then i did 20. so 46 is really good. i felt very accomplished last night.
so last night i talked to my friend. it seems that lately our talks have accomplished more. i don't know if i'm just more honest, or i just tell him things and fuck how it sounds. i don't know. they just seems better.
like a part of the upset i had had with him in february had to do with this bizarro jealousy i have whenever he goes out with a girl. the first several girls it was like grrrr, but then we would talk about it, and then it would be ok, but mostly i didn't like them. like they weren't good enough for him. they were tolerable.
but then this last girl, liz, we never got to talk about it before we had our upset. so when we had our talk several weeks ago, we talked about her and this jealousy thing. i mean, i said it shouldn't be any of my business who he goes out with, or who he fucks. i really shouldn't care about it. but his viewpoint was that, and this is true, that i care about him, and i don't want him going out with someone that isn't good enough for him. and he told me, it's like this radar i have, that none of these chicks were good for him, and they all ended up being bad for him. the last one, liz, had a particular problem, that, i guess it was just that radar and that's why i got so bent about her.
anyway, so they are just friends now, and on wednesday or tuesday, she showed up at the office so they could go to the movies. and at first i was fine, and then i got upset about the whole thing all over again. so the next day, i mention it to him, that it just bothers me. and again, i wonder why i even care, or worry about it.
so, he tells me that he's jealous of my friend in NZ. whenever i talk about him, he gets this twinge of jealousy. he's like, it's not that he doesn't want me to have friends, but he wants to be my only friends.
which i found just incredibly sweet.
but, also, it's very enlightening to even realize that someone else would feel like that.
you know, it's like i know how i feel about things, but to come to realize that someone else could feel that way as well.
just a really eye opening conversation for me.
so, yikes, still need to eat breakfast, let the dogs out, and then off to work.
so let's see, have to pay the utility bills (i don't trust the mail since they lost my payments for gas and electric two months in a row), so i go to the grocery store and pay them. they open at 8am this morning.
so i need to pay that, then clean my offices, then i discovered that we're almost out of coffee (oh the horror!!) so off to costco, get some coffee, probably a carton of cigs. then go into the office and work on those monthly invoices.
woo hoo!! yesterday i got 46 done in 3 1/2 hours!!! that's really great!! considering that the first day i did 8, then i did, 18, then i did 13, then i did 20. so 46 is really good. i felt very accomplished last night.
so last night i talked to my friend. it seems that lately our talks have accomplished more. i don't know if i'm just more honest, or i just tell him things and fuck how it sounds. i don't know. they just seems better.
like a part of the upset i had had with him in february had to do with this bizarro jealousy i have whenever he goes out with a girl. the first several girls it was like grrrr, but then we would talk about it, and then it would be ok, but mostly i didn't like them. like they weren't good enough for him. they were tolerable.
but then this last girl, liz, we never got to talk about it before we had our upset. so when we had our talk several weeks ago, we talked about her and this jealousy thing. i mean, i said it shouldn't be any of my business who he goes out with, or who he fucks. i really shouldn't care about it. but his viewpoint was that, and this is true, that i care about him, and i don't want him going out with someone that isn't good enough for him. and he told me, it's like this radar i have, that none of these chicks were good for him, and they all ended up being bad for him. the last one, liz, had a particular problem, that, i guess it was just that radar and that's why i got so bent about her.
anyway, so they are just friends now, and on wednesday or tuesday, she showed up at the office so they could go to the movies. and at first i was fine, and then i got upset about the whole thing all over again. so the next day, i mention it to him, that it just bothers me. and again, i wonder why i even care, or worry about it.
so, he tells me that he's jealous of my friend in NZ. whenever i talk about him, he gets this twinge of jealousy. he's like, it's not that he doesn't want me to have friends, but he wants to be my only friends.
which i found just incredibly sweet.
but, also, it's very enlightening to even realize that someone else would feel like that.
you know, it's like i know how i feel about things, but to come to realize that someone else could feel that way as well.
just a really eye opening conversation for me.
so, yikes, still need to eat breakfast, let the dogs out, and then off to work.