(no subject)
Title: I am sorry my conscience called in sick again
Author: Emelie
Pairing: Many
Bands: My Chemical Romance, From First To Last, Mest, Rancid (Fall Our Boy)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: AU. Gerard runs a “company” that sells young boys as sex slaves to whoever can pay.
Note: Selling sex is common, yes, but those people aren’t involved in it. That means that this is not true. Thanks to bennizzlejizzle for beta.
Dedication: marre_barre, she came up with this idea and heaven_sent22, love you!!!
| One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight |
Dreaming, that's something you're good at, both you and Tony. You can stand in front of the window for hours, looking at the people living their normal lives outside and dream about how it would be to be one of them. What you would have for dinner, what you would do over the weekend or where you would spend your holiday. Tony says that all the stuff you plan, you will do when you get out of here. To him it's never an "if" connected with "getting out of here"; it's always a "when".
Sometimes his constantly positive view of things makes you happy, you get swept away with his positive thoughts and maybe you feel a bit positive too, but mostly it just makes you feel bad. As the "if" connected to your "getting out of here" is in capitals.
You have told him about your and Pete's unfinished speculations on possible escaping ways, and now he's talking over the work with turning them into something that might work, but without any successful progress, yet.
One day when you stand there, in front of the window, daydreaming, Tony tells you how he ended up here. How he lived a pretty normal teenage life in a pretty normal town, despite the fact that he was about to get kicked out of school because of his tendencies of never showing up there. Instead he spent his days sleeping and his nights hanging out with older friends that already had graduated.
The first time he met Gerard, he was walking to the mall with a friend ("Why did we have to walk? We should have taken the car or the bus or even bikes, then he wouldn't have noticed me!"). They had started to talk and for some reason Tony told Gerard that he was looking for work, as his mom was really angry because of his ways of living his life. But if he could get himself a job she would be a bit happier and maybe not go totally nuts about him getting kicked out of school. Gerard had told him that this was his lucky day, as he needed someone to help him out in his is office. He told him to meet him at the gas station down the road tomorrow at ten and he would tell him more about the job.
"Are you going to be there?" his friend had asked after Gerard was gone.
"Yeah, of course," Tony had answered, "I really need a job, so why not?"
"I don't think you should, that man seemed very suspicious to me."
"How dangerous can he be? And besides my uncle works at the gas station, so if he tries anything I can scream like a girl and he will come and save me."
The next day came, Tony met Gerard and got persuaded to get into Gerard's car and let him drive away, without the smallest attempt to a scream for the uncle.
Gerard had taken him to a coffee shop a few blocks away, where he had promised him a future without troubles and lots of money, if he took the work.
After that he didn't remember anything until he was in the apartment. He remembered waking up on the couch, with a bag with some of his belongings beside him on the floor. So he must have been home after the visit to the coffee shop to get them before he and Gerard had left his hometown. But he can't remember it, nor can he remember the trip and how long time it took, but it must have been at least three days that got lost in his memory.
That is what he tells you while you look out over the parking lot and a bunch of playing kids. It makes you wonder what this is you are involved in, if this is growing out if proportion. If this feeling you get from Tony's tale is true, if Gerard had started to go on "business trips" over the whole county to recruit boys, you definitely think it has. And if that is true it's really, really bad and maybe you are quite sure this has never happened before. Everyone you have heard of that "works" for Gerard is from this town or close to it. He wasn't a stranger to you the first time he talked to you. You had seen him many times hanging around outside some of the cheaper bars, looking for those who would fit his model, someone who he could sell. Someone that that didn't have a stable life, someone who was desperate for money to survive, someone that wouldn't be too missed in the outside world.
You remember that once some older boys told you that you should stay away from him, that he was dangerous. They didn't have to tell you twice, he looked dangerous. His eyes were always wandering around the environment in search for something and his face was filled with something that made it empty, in an inhuman way. He scared you.
Yet you did talk to him, but it wasn't one of those nights when you saw him in the dark corners of the town, it was in daylight and you were searching the McDonald's in town for a possible job. Really, you should have been in school then, but you didn't have the heart to go. School did nothing for you, working did. The only problem was that you didn't have any work, you needed one desperately. Just thinking about your mom at home, her back that never stopped hurting and that kept her in bed almost all days of the week and the growing pile of hospital bills made you willing to take any job you could, as long as it helped your mom.
Maybe Gerard sensed that when he asked you to work for him. He promised you money enough to give your mom the best medical treatments and to get you a good education. And when you had realised they were all lies, it was already too late.
You are still standing in front of the window when you see Gerard's car outside the house, but you have long since run out of topics to talk about. It has been one of those days when the church bell has struck three in the afternoon before anyone has come to get you.
When you get back that night Tony tells you that Tim wants to keep him over the weekend, starting tomorrow. But when Tim said that Tony told him that he didn't want to leave you alone for that long, so now you are both going to spend your weekend with Tim.
It scares you, the things that man is willing to do to have Tony with him. You wonder what things may fly through his head when he does that much for a whore.
*
You can't help but feel a bit nervous when you stand outside the door to Tim's house. You almost jump when Gerard pushes the doorbell. Tony is standing beside you, looking at his feet. He looks calm, but not really comfortable.
The door opens almost at once, as if Tim has been waiting for you just inside the door. And judging by what you know about him, he probably has.
You look curiously at him as he lets you and Tony in. He seems to be between 35 and 40 and he has a few tattoos on his arms and short, dark hair. You wouldn't call him fat, not at all, but he's not thin either. He is round in a way that makes him look like he just have been eating too much unhealthy food for a long time, but yet not eaten too much of it. He reminds you of those middle-aged motorcyclists that are slightly criminal and drinks beer all the time.
Tim takes you into the kitchen, where you sit down while he makes coffee. He is talking almost the whole time, with Tony. You are too scared to say anything, he creeps you out, Tim, and even more so in person than Tony's stories about him. Thinking about what he might want you to do later makes you want to turn into a fly and fly out of his kitchen window that is slightly ajar. The odds are high that he wants the two of you to have sex with each other and you aren't sure you can do that. No offence to Tony, but that would just be wrong. You aren't as comfortable with him yet as you were with Pete.
But Tim's plan is apparently something completely different from your fears. After the coffee he takes you into the living room and tells you he wants some alone time with Tony and that he has rented a few movies for you to watch. After that he leaves and you can hear his voice talking to Tony, a few one worded responses from Tony and then a door closing.
You pick one of the DVD's at the table, even though none of them really catches your attention, but you have nothing better to do then to watch them. It's a romantic comedy you end up seeing, one that is not quite funny at all and not even very romantic.
Barely covered by the sounds of the movie you can hear Tim from some room close to where you are sitting. It doesn't take much imagination for you to figure out what he is doing.
A while later when the movie almost has made you fall asleep, Tim and Tony join you on the couch. They almost act like they are a couple and that sickens you. Even though you know it's just an act from Tony's side, you can never know how much acting there is from Tim.
By the end of the weekend you have watched all the movies that were on the table. Tim you have barely seen at all, only during meals. He doesn't touch you, he doesn't talk to you and you are happy having it that way. Tony, he sometimes joins you on the couch you talk for a bit or he just rests.
You are happy you are left alone, it's like having two days off and that you haven't had since you got here, but in some way you wish you could carry Tony's burden with him. It's unfair that he has to "work" when you don't.
Eventually the weekend ends and to your great joy Mikey is waiting outside the house to take you home. Seeing his smile makes you warm inside, in a way that reminds you of being on camp the whole summer and then the happiness of seeing your mother when you finally got home again.
"I don't have time to buy you pizza today," Mikey says, sounding like he really is sorry for it, "but maybe next time?"
You answer that that's just fine and really it is, because at least Tim has given you good food.
"Can I ask you something?" you say after a few minutes of silence.
"As long as I can tell you the answer."
"Do you know how Pete is doing?"
"Last time I saw him he was ok, but that was a few weeks ago."
"Thanks. Can you tell him I miss him if you see him again?"
"Sure."
Tony stays quiet during the whole ride home, while you and Mikey keep talking about nonsense like the weather. It's not like him to be this quiet, but you figure he's tired form the weekend.
*
Tim seems to like the arrangement of having you two over the weekends. Week after week you find yourself in his living room watching movies, while he and Tony are somewhere else.
Mostly it is that anyway, but sometimes when Tim is in a really good mood they stay with you and you talk and maybe play some cards. The way he treats Tony makes you dislike him even more than you did before, now when you see them together more often. It's really like he is something he owns, something that should do whatever he says. And yet you can see that he really likes him in some twisted way.
Not one single time does Tim touch you though, but sometimes he and Tony can be away for almost a whole day, leaving you with the movies. At those days you find yourself wishing more and more that Tim would lie some of the burden he lays on Tony on you. Not that you know what they are doing, but judging by the look on Tony's face he does not like it. And it's then, at one of the times when that thought goes through your head that you realise that maybe Tony is starting to take Pete's place. But take it is the wrong word, you think, Tony is rather starting to fill the emptiness after Pete, but he can never be the same.
This goes on for a few months, or at least it seems like that as the weekends you spend in Tim's house has been many. And in some way you grow to like them, they give you something else than the daily routine. You can catch up on sleep and you can catch up with the outside world too, in some ways. But in some ways you hate them too, as you can tell that Tim is breaking down Tony's happy facade with whatever he is doing to him.
Another chapter done... hope you liked it or something.
Anyway, in a week I'm moving to a school to study writing for a year, which means I won’t update very often. I'm sorry, but I think my teachers will make write in Swedish again...
I will continue though, even if it'll take time.
Author: Emelie
Pairing: Many
Bands: My Chemical Romance, From First To Last, Mest, Rancid (Fall Our Boy)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: AU. Gerard runs a “company” that sells young boys as sex slaves to whoever can pay.
Note: Selling sex is common, yes, but those people aren’t involved in it. That means that this is not true. Thanks to bennizzlejizzle for beta.
Dedication: marre_barre, she came up with this idea and heaven_sent22, love you!!!
| One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight |
Dreaming, that's something you're good at, both you and Tony. You can stand in front of the window for hours, looking at the people living their normal lives outside and dream about how it would be to be one of them. What you would have for dinner, what you would do over the weekend or where you would spend your holiday. Tony says that all the stuff you plan, you will do when you get out of here. To him it's never an "if" connected with "getting out of here"; it's always a "when".
Sometimes his constantly positive view of things makes you happy, you get swept away with his positive thoughts and maybe you feel a bit positive too, but mostly it just makes you feel bad. As the "if" connected to your "getting out of here" is in capitals.
You have told him about your and Pete's unfinished speculations on possible escaping ways, and now he's talking over the work with turning them into something that might work, but without any successful progress, yet.
One day when you stand there, in front of the window, daydreaming, Tony tells you how he ended up here. How he lived a pretty normal teenage life in a pretty normal town, despite the fact that he was about to get kicked out of school because of his tendencies of never showing up there. Instead he spent his days sleeping and his nights hanging out with older friends that already had graduated.
The first time he met Gerard, he was walking to the mall with a friend ("Why did we have to walk? We should have taken the car or the bus or even bikes, then he wouldn't have noticed me!"). They had started to talk and for some reason Tony told Gerard that he was looking for work, as his mom was really angry because of his ways of living his life. But if he could get himself a job she would be a bit happier and maybe not go totally nuts about him getting kicked out of school. Gerard had told him that this was his lucky day, as he needed someone to help him out in his is office. He told him to meet him at the gas station down the road tomorrow at ten and he would tell him more about the job.
"Are you going to be there?" his friend had asked after Gerard was gone.
"Yeah, of course," Tony had answered, "I really need a job, so why not?"
"I don't think you should, that man seemed very suspicious to me."
"How dangerous can he be? And besides my uncle works at the gas station, so if he tries anything I can scream like a girl and he will come and save me."
The next day came, Tony met Gerard and got persuaded to get into Gerard's car and let him drive away, without the smallest attempt to a scream for the uncle.
Gerard had taken him to a coffee shop a few blocks away, where he had promised him a future without troubles and lots of money, if he took the work.
After that he didn't remember anything until he was in the apartment. He remembered waking up on the couch, with a bag with some of his belongings beside him on the floor. So he must have been home after the visit to the coffee shop to get them before he and Gerard had left his hometown. But he can't remember it, nor can he remember the trip and how long time it took, but it must have been at least three days that got lost in his memory.
That is what he tells you while you look out over the parking lot and a bunch of playing kids. It makes you wonder what this is you are involved in, if this is growing out if proportion. If this feeling you get from Tony's tale is true, if Gerard had started to go on "business trips" over the whole county to recruit boys, you definitely think it has. And if that is true it's really, really bad and maybe you are quite sure this has never happened before. Everyone you have heard of that "works" for Gerard is from this town or close to it. He wasn't a stranger to you the first time he talked to you. You had seen him many times hanging around outside some of the cheaper bars, looking for those who would fit his model, someone who he could sell. Someone that that didn't have a stable life, someone who was desperate for money to survive, someone that wouldn't be too missed in the outside world.
You remember that once some older boys told you that you should stay away from him, that he was dangerous. They didn't have to tell you twice, he looked dangerous. His eyes were always wandering around the environment in search for something and his face was filled with something that made it empty, in an inhuman way. He scared you.
Yet you did talk to him, but it wasn't one of those nights when you saw him in the dark corners of the town, it was in daylight and you were searching the McDonald's in town for a possible job. Really, you should have been in school then, but you didn't have the heart to go. School did nothing for you, working did. The only problem was that you didn't have any work, you needed one desperately. Just thinking about your mom at home, her back that never stopped hurting and that kept her in bed almost all days of the week and the growing pile of hospital bills made you willing to take any job you could, as long as it helped your mom.
Maybe Gerard sensed that when he asked you to work for him. He promised you money enough to give your mom the best medical treatments and to get you a good education. And when you had realised they were all lies, it was already too late.
You are still standing in front of the window when you see Gerard's car outside the house, but you have long since run out of topics to talk about. It has been one of those days when the church bell has struck three in the afternoon before anyone has come to get you.
When you get back that night Tony tells you that Tim wants to keep him over the weekend, starting tomorrow. But when Tim said that Tony told him that he didn't want to leave you alone for that long, so now you are both going to spend your weekend with Tim.
It scares you, the things that man is willing to do to have Tony with him. You wonder what things may fly through his head when he does that much for a whore.
*
You can't help but feel a bit nervous when you stand outside the door to Tim's house. You almost jump when Gerard pushes the doorbell. Tony is standing beside you, looking at his feet. He looks calm, but not really comfortable.
The door opens almost at once, as if Tim has been waiting for you just inside the door. And judging by what you know about him, he probably has.
You look curiously at him as he lets you and Tony in. He seems to be between 35 and 40 and he has a few tattoos on his arms and short, dark hair. You wouldn't call him fat, not at all, but he's not thin either. He is round in a way that makes him look like he just have been eating too much unhealthy food for a long time, but yet not eaten too much of it. He reminds you of those middle-aged motorcyclists that are slightly criminal and drinks beer all the time.
Tim takes you into the kitchen, where you sit down while he makes coffee. He is talking almost the whole time, with Tony. You are too scared to say anything, he creeps you out, Tim, and even more so in person than Tony's stories about him. Thinking about what he might want you to do later makes you want to turn into a fly and fly out of his kitchen window that is slightly ajar. The odds are high that he wants the two of you to have sex with each other and you aren't sure you can do that. No offence to Tony, but that would just be wrong. You aren't as comfortable with him yet as you were with Pete.
But Tim's plan is apparently something completely different from your fears. After the coffee he takes you into the living room and tells you he wants some alone time with Tony and that he has rented a few movies for you to watch. After that he leaves and you can hear his voice talking to Tony, a few one worded responses from Tony and then a door closing.
You pick one of the DVD's at the table, even though none of them really catches your attention, but you have nothing better to do then to watch them. It's a romantic comedy you end up seeing, one that is not quite funny at all and not even very romantic.
Barely covered by the sounds of the movie you can hear Tim from some room close to where you are sitting. It doesn't take much imagination for you to figure out what he is doing.
A while later when the movie almost has made you fall asleep, Tim and Tony join you on the couch. They almost act like they are a couple and that sickens you. Even though you know it's just an act from Tony's side, you can never know how much acting there is from Tim.
By the end of the weekend you have watched all the movies that were on the table. Tim you have barely seen at all, only during meals. He doesn't touch you, he doesn't talk to you and you are happy having it that way. Tony, he sometimes joins you on the couch you talk for a bit or he just rests.
You are happy you are left alone, it's like having two days off and that you haven't had since you got here, but in some way you wish you could carry Tony's burden with him. It's unfair that he has to "work" when you don't.
Eventually the weekend ends and to your great joy Mikey is waiting outside the house to take you home. Seeing his smile makes you warm inside, in a way that reminds you of being on camp the whole summer and then the happiness of seeing your mother when you finally got home again.
"I don't have time to buy you pizza today," Mikey says, sounding like he really is sorry for it, "but maybe next time?"
You answer that that's just fine and really it is, because at least Tim has given you good food.
"Can I ask you something?" you say after a few minutes of silence.
"As long as I can tell you the answer."
"Do you know how Pete is doing?"
"Last time I saw him he was ok, but that was a few weeks ago."
"Thanks. Can you tell him I miss him if you see him again?"
"Sure."
Tony stays quiet during the whole ride home, while you and Mikey keep talking about nonsense like the weather. It's not like him to be this quiet, but you figure he's tired form the weekend.
*
Tim seems to like the arrangement of having you two over the weekends. Week after week you find yourself in his living room watching movies, while he and Tony are somewhere else.
Mostly it is that anyway, but sometimes when Tim is in a really good mood they stay with you and you talk and maybe play some cards. The way he treats Tony makes you dislike him even more than you did before, now when you see them together more often. It's really like he is something he owns, something that should do whatever he says. And yet you can see that he really likes him in some twisted way.
Not one single time does Tim touch you though, but sometimes he and Tony can be away for almost a whole day, leaving you with the movies. At those days you find yourself wishing more and more that Tim would lie some of the burden he lays on Tony on you. Not that you know what they are doing, but judging by the look on Tony's face he does not like it. And it's then, at one of the times when that thought goes through your head that you realise that maybe Tony is starting to take Pete's place. But take it is the wrong word, you think, Tony is rather starting to fill the emptiness after Pete, but he can never be the same.
This goes on for a few months, or at least it seems like that as the weekends you spend in Tim's house has been many. And in some way you grow to like them, they give you something else than the daily routine. You can catch up on sleep and you can catch up with the outside world too, in some ways. But in some ways you hate them too, as you can tell that Tim is breaking down Tony's happy facade with whatever he is doing to him.
Another chapter done... hope you liked it or something.
Anyway, in a week I'm moving to a school to study writing for a year, which means I won’t update very often. I'm sorry, but I think my teachers will make write in Swedish again...
I will continue though, even if it'll take time.