Jag kan bara ta en ton men en gång tog jag två... jag lät som en GÖK! *sings*
Title: This Book Is All Lies
Author: Emelie
Pairing: Gerard/Frank
Rating: PG-13
Summary: One day a new guy shows up, and changes everything.
Note: I own nothing of this, not even the plot. It’s based on Peter Pohl’s wonderful book “Janne, Min Vän” (Go read it! The English title is “Johnny, my friend”) Nothing will ever come up to the greatness of that book, this story will just hide in the shadows while the original shines. Thanks to forever_drownin for beta <3
| one | two | three |
Fridays were the best day of the week, you had always thought so, and this Friday was particularly good because someone Tim knew was having a party and he had said there was going to be booze there. That was the worst thing about being underage, there was always this problem of finding ways of getting wasted. But the weekend seemed saved now.
You needed something to take your mind of things. Everything had gone on as usual after the day at the bridge, and for once you didn't like it that way. You were that kind of person who preferred a quite calm life with no big changes. But now when the days went on like they always had you wanted them to change. You wanted life to show that the inside of you had gone through major changes by changing the normal day rhythm. You wanted Gerard to show that he was the big change.
But everything was just like it always was, you went to school, you went to the skate park and you spent a few hours of the night talking to Gerard. The new thing was just inside of you and there it was hanging like a dark shadow over everything you did. You wanted to feel his lips again, you wanted it bad. But he seemed as if he had forgotten about that incident completely. And for your life you couldn't make yourself tell him that. You were so scared that if you did he would run away forever.
But there was this thought in the back of your mind that maybe he felt the same, because why would he have kissed you in the first place otherwise? You didn't believe that though. He acted normal at all times, but you found yourself doing clumsy things around him all the time. He made you nervous, but in a warm, cosy way.
One thing was better though, he hadn't done anything more to risk his life. He had kept away from talking to anyone outside the gang and that made you happy.
That's why you couldn't wait to come to the party and get wasted and forget about his lips that haunted you.
*
The party was held in a pretty small but very crowded apartment. Some horrible techno was blasting. It was hurting your ears, if there was anything you couldn't stand it was techno. And Gerard risking his life. You sighed, you hated this. Even though the apartment was small you had lost everyone from the gang and now you were sitting on your own on a couch feeling miserable. It always gave you a feeling that everyone hated you when you sat alone like this. You don't know why, but it had happened quite a few times. You tried to ignore it by taking a few more sips of your beer.
Great start to the forgetting process.
Finally some familiar faces entered the room, one of them was Gerard. He was standing with his back to you, talking to Tim and some dude you didn't recognise, while he was drinking. Just the sight of him made butterflies flutter in your stomach.
After a while he looked around the room and saw you, a big smile spreading across his face. Before you knew it he was sitting in your lap, he must have moved faster than the light.
He was light, lighter than you had expected.
"Fraaaank!" he sang. You could tell by the sound of his voice that he was even more drunk than you were. "I missed you!"
The whole feeling of loneliness that you had felt before was gone. It was replaced by the light weight in your lap. He had his arms around your neck and you could feel his hot breath as it traced along your cheek. Suddenly you felt his lips pressing against yours again. But this time he didn't run away. He stayed and you would never let him go again.
You wrapped your arms around his waist, keeping him in a good position in your lap. The kiss got deeper and more lust filled it the longer you kept it going. His taste was of vodka and something you couldn't identify, but it reminded you of deep forests, filled your mouth. Your hands were travelling down his body, feeling for his skin under his black shirt.
Suddenly he pulled away forcefully, he was still in your lap but the space between your bodies had grown much bigger. You gave him a weird look and as you did you saw that his eyes were wide open in fear.
"What's wrong?" you asked slowly reaching out your arms to pull him into a hug,
He clung close to you, burying his face in the hollow of your neck.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. You patted his back, not knowing what you were supposed to do or say.
"Did I do anything wrong?" you questioned him, worried. He shook his head and to your surprise you felt tears wetting your neck.
"I'm so sorry," he sobbed.
"Don't be," you hugged him closer to you, feeling confused and a bit scared of the strange scenario you were involved in.
"I like you so much, Frank," his voice was stifled by the tears. "I really do. I'm gonna tell you one day, one day I'll tell you everything."
Now that helped you feel less confused. There was nothing you could do but keep holding him and let him cry. Wild thoughts were spinning in your head, making your numb brain cells dizzy. Why was he crying? Had he been sexually abused or even raped and was that the reason why he was scared of people touching him? Because it must have been you touching him that made him scared, it was when you started doing that he pulled away.
You spent the rest of the night sitting on that couch with Gerard in your lap. It took him a pretty long time to stop crying and he didn't really calm down all night.
As he got more to drink he kept on slurring things about being sorry and telling you everything later. It got a bit annoying after a few hours, but you let him be. Something was wrong, you just didn't know what yet and you had a feeling he needed the closeness. And every now and then he kissed you again and told you that he liked you, and those moments made it worth it.
When it was time to go home you insisted that you was going to follow Gerard home, but that almost made him angry. He was fully capable of going home by himself. An obvious lie. Or not a lie but a distortion of the truth.
He ended up going home by himself anyway. You don’t think you knew a more stubborn person.
*
When you came to the skate park the Monday after Gerard wasn’t there. It made you feel betrayed, not that he had said he was going to be there, but you had hoped for it. The whole weekend you had been waiting for this moment of seeing him again. You just couldn’t find any pleasure in skating that day. You just wanted Gerard to be there.
He wasn’t there when you came Tuesday either. You were almost about to go home to get rid of all the happy faces around you when you heard the familiar sound of his bike approaching behind you. You turned around, seeing him jump off the bike almost before it had stopped.
The first thing he did was give you a long hug. After a while he pushed you away, but not letting go of you. His big eyes looking sadly at you. You wanted to do everything in your power to make that deep sadness go away. No human being should be allowed to hold so much pain as his eyes did.
“I’m going away for a few weeks,” he said, his voice mirroring the sadness in his eyes.
You wanted to protest and by your words, make him stay. But as though he sensed you intentions he put a warning finger over your lips.
“I don’t want to do this,” he whispered, “but I’ll be back. I promise.” His finger got replaced by his lips as he stopped speaking.
When he was cycling away a few minutes later you just wanted to cry. You wanted to be a little baby again that didn’t have to worry about anything.
Love me, hate me?
It feels like I end every chapter with Gerard going away... I'll have to change that...
Author: Emelie
Pairing: Gerard/Frank
Rating: PG-13
Summary: One day a new guy shows up, and changes everything.
Note: I own nothing of this, not even the plot. It’s based on Peter Pohl’s wonderful book “Janne, Min Vän” (Go read it! The English title is “Johnny, my friend”) Nothing will ever come up to the greatness of that book, this story will just hide in the shadows while the original shines. Thanks to forever_drownin for beta <3
| one | two | three |
Fridays were the best day of the week, you had always thought so, and this Friday was particularly good because someone Tim knew was having a party and he had said there was going to be booze there. That was the worst thing about being underage, there was always this problem of finding ways of getting wasted. But the weekend seemed saved now.
You needed something to take your mind of things. Everything had gone on as usual after the day at the bridge, and for once you didn't like it that way. You were that kind of person who preferred a quite calm life with no big changes. But now when the days went on like they always had you wanted them to change. You wanted life to show that the inside of you had gone through major changes by changing the normal day rhythm. You wanted Gerard to show that he was the big change.
But everything was just like it always was, you went to school, you went to the skate park and you spent a few hours of the night talking to Gerard. The new thing was just inside of you and there it was hanging like a dark shadow over everything you did. You wanted to feel his lips again, you wanted it bad. But he seemed as if he had forgotten about that incident completely. And for your life you couldn't make yourself tell him that. You were so scared that if you did he would run away forever.
But there was this thought in the back of your mind that maybe he felt the same, because why would he have kissed you in the first place otherwise? You didn't believe that though. He acted normal at all times, but you found yourself doing clumsy things around him all the time. He made you nervous, but in a warm, cosy way.
One thing was better though, he hadn't done anything more to risk his life. He had kept away from talking to anyone outside the gang and that made you happy.
That's why you couldn't wait to come to the party and get wasted and forget about his lips that haunted you.
*
The party was held in a pretty small but very crowded apartment. Some horrible techno was blasting. It was hurting your ears, if there was anything you couldn't stand it was techno. And Gerard risking his life. You sighed, you hated this. Even though the apartment was small you had lost everyone from the gang and now you were sitting on your own on a couch feeling miserable. It always gave you a feeling that everyone hated you when you sat alone like this. You don't know why, but it had happened quite a few times. You tried to ignore it by taking a few more sips of your beer.
Great start to the forgetting process.
Finally some familiar faces entered the room, one of them was Gerard. He was standing with his back to you, talking to Tim and some dude you didn't recognise, while he was drinking. Just the sight of him made butterflies flutter in your stomach.
After a while he looked around the room and saw you, a big smile spreading across his face. Before you knew it he was sitting in your lap, he must have moved faster than the light.
He was light, lighter than you had expected.
"Fraaaank!" he sang. You could tell by the sound of his voice that he was even more drunk than you were. "I missed you!"
The whole feeling of loneliness that you had felt before was gone. It was replaced by the light weight in your lap. He had his arms around your neck and you could feel his hot breath as it traced along your cheek. Suddenly you felt his lips pressing against yours again. But this time he didn't run away. He stayed and you would never let him go again.
You wrapped your arms around his waist, keeping him in a good position in your lap. The kiss got deeper and more lust filled it the longer you kept it going. His taste was of vodka and something you couldn't identify, but it reminded you of deep forests, filled your mouth. Your hands were travelling down his body, feeling for his skin under his black shirt.
Suddenly he pulled away forcefully, he was still in your lap but the space between your bodies had grown much bigger. You gave him a weird look and as you did you saw that his eyes were wide open in fear.
"What's wrong?" you asked slowly reaching out your arms to pull him into a hug,
He clung close to you, burying his face in the hollow of your neck.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. You patted his back, not knowing what you were supposed to do or say.
"Did I do anything wrong?" you questioned him, worried. He shook his head and to your surprise you felt tears wetting your neck.
"I'm so sorry," he sobbed.
"Don't be," you hugged him closer to you, feeling confused and a bit scared of the strange scenario you were involved in.
"I like you so much, Frank," his voice was stifled by the tears. "I really do. I'm gonna tell you one day, one day I'll tell you everything."
Now that helped you feel less confused. There was nothing you could do but keep holding him and let him cry. Wild thoughts were spinning in your head, making your numb brain cells dizzy. Why was he crying? Had he been sexually abused or even raped and was that the reason why he was scared of people touching him? Because it must have been you touching him that made him scared, it was when you started doing that he pulled away.
You spent the rest of the night sitting on that couch with Gerard in your lap. It took him a pretty long time to stop crying and he didn't really calm down all night.
As he got more to drink he kept on slurring things about being sorry and telling you everything later. It got a bit annoying after a few hours, but you let him be. Something was wrong, you just didn't know what yet and you had a feeling he needed the closeness. And every now and then he kissed you again and told you that he liked you, and those moments made it worth it.
When it was time to go home you insisted that you was going to follow Gerard home, but that almost made him angry. He was fully capable of going home by himself. An obvious lie. Or not a lie but a distortion of the truth.
He ended up going home by himself anyway. You don’t think you knew a more stubborn person.
*
When you came to the skate park the Monday after Gerard wasn’t there. It made you feel betrayed, not that he had said he was going to be there, but you had hoped for it. The whole weekend you had been waiting for this moment of seeing him again. You just couldn’t find any pleasure in skating that day. You just wanted Gerard to be there.
He wasn’t there when you came Tuesday either. You were almost about to go home to get rid of all the happy faces around you when you heard the familiar sound of his bike approaching behind you. You turned around, seeing him jump off the bike almost before it had stopped.
The first thing he did was give you a long hug. After a while he pushed you away, but not letting go of you. His big eyes looking sadly at you. You wanted to do everything in your power to make that deep sadness go away. No human being should be allowed to hold so much pain as his eyes did.
“I’m going away for a few weeks,” he said, his voice mirroring the sadness in his eyes.
You wanted to protest and by your words, make him stay. But as though he sensed you intentions he put a warning finger over your lips.
“I don’t want to do this,” he whispered, “but I’ll be back. I promise.” His finger got replaced by his lips as he stopped speaking.
When he was cycling away a few minutes later you just wanted to cry. You wanted to be a little baby again that didn’t have to worry about anything.
Love me, hate me?
It feels like I end every chapter with Gerard going away... I'll have to change that...