2. If today was your last day

[motherofthesun]

 (TRIGGER WARNING. This meme deals heavy with death and also possibly with strong violence or with suicide/depression. If you are not comfortable reading about that, please PLEASE do not proceed further.)

Comments

SOB. I'M SORRY.

[halfamemory]

[And he wouldn't want Kanda to follow him, would prefer it if he lived what life he had left to him. Yet now that he was dying, Lavi was scared, didn't want to go alone. But at least he wasn't going to be alone when he did go, it made it difficult to breathe with Kanda holding him so tight despite the pain.

Lavi wouldn't trade it though, it reminded him that he was still alive for the moment. That he was loved. That was more than he could ask for... Correction, he couldn't ask for it. But it had been given to him and Lavi was suddenly sorry that he had let things get this far.

He knew - knew that Kanda had someone that he was looking for out there, that he couldn't die before finding. And he had taken what was supposed to be theirs and now he was stomping on it. The emotion in Kanda's voice, he knew he had hurt him by doing this and that was always the last thing that he wanted to do.

But it's too late... Always too late... That was his lot in life. Lavi reaches up with a shaky hand to cup Kanda's cheek, smiling as best he could through the pain.]

I'm sorry... [He wanted to say those words, wanted to say them back so damn bad and yet he never had. Just kissed or nosed or cuddled with him, trying to hold back on those words.] I-I... [He couldn't. He wouldn't push his emotions on Kanda just as he died. Leaving him alone. Lavi lifts his head a little and tugs Kanda's down, kissing him hard with an assertiveness that he rarely showed.]

/baws

[stainedlotus]

[Kanda pulled back a little when he felt the hand on his cheek, staring down at Lavi and blinking back the tears. When Lavi pulled him back down and kissed him, he didn't hesitate to kiss back. He didn't care if they were in public. He didn't care that his throat was drying out from the effort not to cry.

He didn't care for anything but Lavi right now.]

lol That last one had thoughts all over the place.

[halfamemory]

[His vision was starting to go dark, to go black so that he could hardly see things and made it hard to see Kanda. He hated it. Wanting to see him as he was kissing him for the last time. Lavi deepens the kiss, clinging to it and every bit of pain, fighting to stay alive just for a little bit longer.

While he's kissing Kanda his other hand comes up and he pulls off the eye-patch, letting it slip down so he can try and get a better last view of the world he was leaving. Of the one person he was regretting leaving behind. Lavi clung to the kiss even as he pulled out of it, staying so close to murmur:] I love you, Yu...

[A weak and fumbling kiss, catching more of his bottom lip than anything. But there's a smile on Lavi's face, both eyes open and looking up at him. Able to see him clearly one last time as the light begins to fade again and his breathing - heavily pained - comes to a stop. His hands both slipping down from where they were on top of the redhead.]

/hides

[teasethewar]

[No. Nononononono. This couldn't be happening. Kanda stared down at Lavi's lifeless body, unable to stop the tears this time.]

L-Lavi- Lavi, don't... Don't leave...

[Kanda leaned down, holding onto Lavi's limp body and burying his face into the crook of a cold neck.]

/hides with

[halfamemory]

[Sob. He's sorry, Kanda. He'll make it up to you when you finally come to see him.

There's a small flicker of gray but it's gone, leaving his forehead clear of marks though the exorcism scars will linger on the body. Crosses fading with the warmth of his body.]