RNG gave me 11 luciendaskyMay 19 2013, 14:24:56 UTC
It wasn't exactly how he planned their time together to go: Their lazy afternoon sitting on the sofa and watching a film had been interrupted by the creak of the catflap and minutes later Zirconia creeping into the room and just laying down in front of the coffee table. Lucien had felt a bit foolish, fussing over his cat in front of John like that, but it he hadn't even paused to try to push down the worry in the back of his mind at his pet's out of character lethargy. As soon as he leaned forwards in his seat, gently untangling himself from the other man, he'd caught the unmistakable scent of fresh meat and blood, and then panic hit him as he rushed to the floor to check his cat.
Hours later, and Zirconia was still at the vets, while Lucien was back home with John. He was a restless bundle of nerves. He'd seen animals with their guts spilled before, people too, but his own pet was something different. The gash in Zirconia's stomach was ragged, probably his own doing, caught on something sharp while jumping or running, rather than an act of cruelty, the vet had said. He would ring Lucien after they'd operated and let him know how he was doing, the vet had said.
He didn't even remember driving them back home. If he shook any more, he'd fall to pieces, and he couldn't do that, he couldn't fall apart, not in front of John.
(ooc: The cat will be fine. I need to say this up front, because no cats are dying on my watch ;D Possibly set during a later visit to Leeds rather than the first one? Just to keep them separate events? Unless you prefer them at the same time?)
aw poor kitty <3 :(crimebloggerMay 19 2013, 19:09:16 UTC
John, in the meantime, had tried to be a calm, steady presence around Lucien, someone for him to lean on, to reassure him that Zirconia would be alright, he was a stubborn cat, as stubborn as the man who kept him, if not moreso, and would come out of this just fine. Of course, John had no real way of knowing that, but it seemed the right thing to say.
Returning to the flat, John could tell his words had not quite registered. Lucien looked as white as a sheet, and the air surrounding him was jittery and heavy with nerves, worry, fear, anxiety...
"D'you want me to make you some tea?" John asked quietly as he gently guided Lucien over to the sofa, having him sit down. After another moment, John sat down beside him, throwing an arm around Lucien's shoulder. "He'll be fine, Lucien. The vet hasn't gotten back to us yet, which is good, means they're still working on him, yeah? We were told this would take a while, so that's good. Zirconia is going to be just fine, and he'll get to come home and we'll spoil him rotten. Alright?"
"You don't know that. You can't," the words were bitten out, trying not to take anything out on John, because he knew that he was only trying to comfort him. And he was glad that he was here. He was glad for someone to lean on, which he did right now, pressing into the other man to lean against his chest.
He felt like something had been scooped out of his torso and now where it should hurt it was just numb because there was nothing there to hurt. Weak. He was so weak and showing a side of himself that he felt ashamed to bare, especially so early on, but it was bared and John was all he had to cling on to, so he did. Turning more against the doctor, he fisted his hand tightly in John's sweater, pulling on it as an ache rose in his throat and hitched his breath. "God. I'm sorry..."
It was frustrating, John mused as he wrapped his arms a little tighter around the other man, feeling this helpless. Feeling like he couldn't do a thing to ensure that Zirconia would come home, safe and sound and in one piece. All he could do was sit there, really, and make sure Lucien knew he was not in this alone, and he was certainly not being silly. John had seen him with the damn animal; the two shared an understanding, a connection. That cat was more than just a pet. It had better survive this; if not, Lucien was going to be absolutely broken.
"Don't be sorry. It's fine. It's all fine. I'm here for you, alright? Don't hold back, just... Whatever you need, I'm here."
It wasn't all fine, nothing was going to be fine, not until he knew that Zirconia was going to pull through. Or not. Lucien hiccuped at the thought, something like a massive hand squeezing in chest and trying to wrench everything behind his ribcage out. It was the waiting though, this limbo, the thought that he couldn't do anything because right now, at this moment, his cat could be...
The high pitched whine didn't even register as coming from him until his throat tightened uncomfortably. No, not this. This was ridiculous, embarrassing, pitiful, but as hot tears began to catch in his eyelashes and wash down his face he couldn't find enough pride to care. "I just... I've had him since I left home... He is home to me..."
Truth be told, John was more of a dog person, and even with that in mind he didn't have that much with animals. He didn't mind them, not at all, but he'd never stayed anywhere near long enough to even consider getting a pet, much less get this attached to them. He got attached to people, though. And he felt for them, deeply, when they got upset. And Lucien was certainly that; one of his people, and upset. Horribly upset.
Hushing him, John hugged the other man close, using one hand to run his fingers through Lucien's hair and down his back in soothing movements. "I know, I know," he murmured, understanding Lucien's fear and pain even though he'd never experienced it before. "You don't have to explain, Lucien, or apologize. You just let it all out, it's alright, it's fine, I'm here."
Even in this state of absolute distress, there was a detached part of Lucien that could reflect on how he was glad that John was here with him. His voice was soothing, something that he could listen to, concentrate on, while his touch was comforting. He leaned against the movements of his hand, even as his own fingers alternated between splaying over John's chest and arm, and clutching at the doctor's sweater. That part of him that insisted on processing and functioning, even if the world was on the verge of ending right now, admired how soft the wool was between his fingers, and how very solid and warm and real John was. Pulling his feet up onto the seat, Lucien half lay across John's lap, pressing his face into that comforting softness.
Hours later, and Zirconia was still at the vets, while Lucien was back home with John. He was a restless bundle of nerves. He'd seen animals with their guts spilled before, people too, but his own pet was something different. The gash in Zirconia's stomach was ragged, probably his own doing, caught on something sharp while jumping or running, rather than an act of cruelty, the vet had said. He would ring Lucien after they'd operated and let him know how he was doing, the vet had said.
He didn't even remember driving them back home. If he shook any more, he'd fall to pieces, and he couldn't do that, he couldn't fall apart, not in front of John.
(ooc: The cat will be fine. I need to say this up front, because no cats are dying on my watch ;D Possibly set during a later visit to Leeds rather than the first one? Just to keep them separate events? Unless you prefer them at the same time?)
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Returning to the flat, John could tell his words had not quite registered. Lucien looked as white as a sheet, and the air surrounding him was jittery and heavy with nerves, worry, fear, anxiety...
"D'you want me to make you some tea?" John asked quietly as he gently guided Lucien over to the sofa, having him sit down. After another moment, John sat down beside him, throwing an arm around Lucien's shoulder. "He'll be fine, Lucien. The vet hasn't gotten back to us yet, which is good, means they're still working on him, yeah? We were told this would take a while, so that's good. Zirconia is going to be just fine, and he'll get to come home and we'll spoil him rotten. Alright?"
[ ooc: Later visit sounds good to me, bb. <3]
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He felt like something had been scooped out of his torso and now where it should hurt it was just numb because there was nothing there to hurt. Weak. He was so weak and showing a side of himself that he felt ashamed to bare, especially so early on, but it was bared and John was all he had to cling on to, so he did. Turning more against the doctor, he fisted his hand tightly in John's sweater, pulling on it as an ache rose in his throat and hitched his breath. "God. I'm sorry..."
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"Don't be sorry. It's fine. It's all fine. I'm here for you, alright? Don't hold back, just... Whatever you need, I'm here."
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The high pitched whine didn't even register as coming from him until his throat tightened uncomfortably. No, not this. This was ridiculous, embarrassing, pitiful, but as hot tears began to catch in his eyelashes and wash down his face he couldn't find enough pride to care. "I just... I've had him since I left home... He is home to me..."
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Hushing him, John hugged the other man close, using one hand to run his fingers through Lucien's hair and down his back in soothing movements. "I know, I know," he murmured, understanding Lucien's fear and pain even though he'd never experienced it before. "You don't have to explain, Lucien, or apologize. You just let it all out, it's alright, it's fine, I'm here."
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