1193: Woke Up In Jail Meme

Sep 06, 2012 02:46

Woke Up In Jail Meme


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fluff, crack-humor, rated: pg13

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thanks for the patience! Happy to pick up elsewhere if you want <3 alec_hardison September 30 2012, 20:16:38 UTC
His mind was running at a hundred miles an hour, trying to figure out how he'd get out of this mess. Portland PD wasn't the FBI but it also wasn't a podunk police station either. The processing officer was happy to leave him seated in holding to get himself a donut (yes, donut), knowing full well that there was no running out with cops all around the building. And with no warning of who he had in custody, there was no expectation of someone coming through the ventilation system for a rescue.

A rescue that Hardison wasn't looking forward to. He hated tight spaces. And the DUST! Don't get him started on the dust. The last time Parker had him travel through an air duct resulted in hourly showers over the course of a day. No thanks. Mm mm, he wasn't interested in--the look on Parker's face made him change his mind. It was amazing how a man his size could squirm so quickly through the narrow space.

"SERIOUSLY?!" he exclaimed on the roof while flailing his arms around as if to shake off the dust mites he knew were all over him. His anger was far from directed at Parker but the night's events as a whole. Her rescue was the one thing that went right. So far. They were after all on a roof. One that belonged to Portland PD who had been in the middle of processing him for trespassing on school grounds. ...He might have been better of staying put and waiting to get out the next day.

With no one else on the team available to help him and Parker make that call, Hardison was left jumping about for a good minute and nearly hyperventilating to get a good dose of oxygen in his lungs.

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Hope everything's going as well as it can <3 I'm good with whatever though! onlyparker October 1 2012, 16:25:46 UTC
It wasn't exactly the easiest thing, getting Hardison up through the venting - because he was bigger than her, but mostly because she could tell that he hated it, and he was squirming so much she was almost afraid that they'd fall right through the ceiling.

"It wasn't that bad." Parker scowls at him, but only until she realizes that he's not really talking about her, but at her. In her general direction. Like people did. "It's not that bad," she amends, patting him on the shoulder for comfort as she passes behind him, scanning the rooftops.

It won't be long until they notice he's gone. Parker peers over the edge of the building, then glances back at Hardison... no, there's no way that he's going to be able to scale down it. Maybe up, but... Okay, time for plan B.

Not that there was a plan B. Nate was the one with all the plans.

"Are you gonna be alright?" she asks, frowning slightly, genuinely concerned.

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<3 alec_hardison October 2 2012, 12:24:33 UTC
In all honesty, Alec was too busy fighting off dust mites and their excrement to notice her lash back. He took off his shirt and shook it away from him while nodding at her question. "Lots of fresh air up here...lots of fresh air," he repeated while tapering off in volume. At least his hair was low and wouldn't keep any of those bugs hidden on him.

With one last swipe of his hands over his head and chest, and one last shake of the shirt he wore, Hardison slipped it back on and looked at Parker. His body was still rigid with tension but he focused his attention on his girlfriend. "So what's the plan?" he asked and it finally dawned on him that falling down a building would be required. Again.

This was not his night.

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onlyparker October 3 2012, 03:22:53 UTC
Tonight was going to be a shower-filled night. And then tomorrow, a laundry filled one. Parker made a point of not pointing out that she was constantly crawling through vents, which meant she was constantly covered in bugs, which meant that Alec was constantly in close proximity to those bugs. Well, less constantly now, but still.

"Fresh air is good," she nodded encouragingly, coming back to him. After a second she gave him a hug, frowning at the tension she could feel in his muscles. "I got you out," she muttered, nuzzling her head a little tighter against his shoulder, trying desperately to provide the same kind of comfort and support he did for her, time after time. "You're fine now."

And he certainly wasn't going to like what she was thinking up for Plan B. "You can't climb down the wall, can you?" she asked, knowing that the answer would be 'no', but still hoping for it.

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Not updating the original iPad OS has made my browsers run like crap that updated for OS 6. *sigh* alec_hardison October 8 2012, 05:29:07 UTC
[ooc: The last ep has been my mood saving grace for at least a week, if not longer. I think we need to plot in PMs!]

Not that he would say it out loud now, but there wasn't a flesh eating parasite in the world that could keep him away from Parker. Alec never forgot about dust mites since meeting her. His aversion was mainly to direct contact and tight spaces. She could calm him to a functioning state. She already had. His arms wrapped snug around her, more for his benefit than hers (as far as he knew). "You did...that you did."

His voice was shaky but steadying. And then she asked if he could climb down a wall. There was no immediate assurance of safety equipment being attached. Hardison swallowed hard and instantly shook his head. "MmMmm," he declined while unsure if he should pull back or hold Parker tighter. "Tell me that's not the only plan." His body began to go rigid all over again. He hadn't stopped shaking his head. "Wait. We can just camp out up here. Until Nate and Sophie get back. Or Eliot. They'll create a diversion and then we can..."

Crawl back in t the ventliation system?! "Maybe we can just sit out here and watch the stars?"

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I'm stubbornly avoiding updating my iPhone! onlyparker October 9 2012, 18:33:00 UTC
[ooc: I haven't seen the last-last episode yet, but I plan to soon! I'd be up for some plotting!]

"Right," Parker nodded, patting his back, staying close for the time being; but her eyes scanned the area for any sign that the cops had caught on. "So you're out, and the worst is over."

It was just shy of fifty feet down to the ground. It wasn't very far, but being around the team had taught her that anything over twenty feet was considered "more than a little".

The tension was back in his body and she pulled him closer, knowing that he took comfort in this, even if it felt weird to her. "There's another plan," she reassured. Then she pressed her mouth against his shoulder to mumble, "I just haven't figured it out yet."

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I have the 5 and the 4, the update isn't bad. I'm upset Apple deemed the original iPad unworthy. :( alec_hardison October 11 2012, 13:20:50 UTC
[ooc: YOU MUST! It was made of so much love! I'll send a PM. I wanna touch on some stuff you mentioned before, if that's cool.]

Parker was a wonder. It might have been years, but Alec remembered first meeting her as if it were yesterday. The same could be said about her aversion to being touched and how she thought of pretend making out with him (never Eliot! Hardison always remembered that part the most.).Now that they were officially more than curiously drawn to each other, he liked to think it all had been meant to be.

His hand slid up her back and gently played at the back of her head with her hair and neck at once. She was right. Nothing eased him like Parker being close. As a little boy thrown away, he had found that comfort in Nana. It only made sense that it stayed with him as an adult. Alec had stayed away from people before meeting the team because he wouldn't open himself up for disappointments. He almost forgot what that was like with the team. Especially with Parker.

"I'll climb down," he uttered so low that she probably would not have heard him if she hadn't been so close. His voice was filled with fear, but he meant it. Hardison trusted Parker with his life. And since he had been sure of his feelings for her, Alec worked out regularly with Eliot (and all the 'falling' she had him doing). He was more than capable of holding his weight. And at least it wasn't a tight space filled with dust mites and their mandibibbles?

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Awe! Probably trying to get you to buy the newest iPad :( onlyparker October 11 2012, 22:06:46 UTC
[ooc: I will get around to it! PM sounds good - I'll be looking out for it!]

It was the only thing she could think of doing, coming to get Hardison right away. Parker hadn't even thought about it. She would call it instinct, except her instinct had always been to run the other way. It was funny, how willing she was to risk getting caught when it wasn't her skin on the line. It hadn't occurred to her that retrieval wasn't the only option. Maybe she was projecting her paranoia of being caught, but the only valid course of action she saw was breaking in and getting Hardison out. What happened 'after' had seemed less pertinent.

Despite herself she was starting to fall into Alec's touch; the initial weirdness was gone, replaced by a calm that really wasn't appropriate, given where they were standing. Leaning into the fingers in her hair, she nodded, just as determined as he. "You can do it. I won't let you fall." Her voice was soft and reassuring, filled with the confidence that Hardison lacked. It was the confidence of someone in their element, the coach on the other end of the comm that fed her the lines for a grift. Except it was Parker doing the feeding this time.

"I'll go down first and pick out the holds for you. You'll find them easy that way." This at least, she seemed to comprehend - the risk involved in what they were doing.

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That's what it seems like which sucks because I'm completely fine w/mine. But its working better now alec_hardison October 12 2012, 02:27:55 UTC
How he hated heights. And now there were no body harnesses for safety. If Parker went first, it meant that Alec would have to look down. If he wen't first...he was going first. His body threatened to tremble and started perspiring lightly though the night wind was blowing against them on the roof.

At least the building wasn't tall? Hardison was having a real hard time trying to keep positive thoughts about the situation. He knew Parker wouldn't allow anything to happen to him. He trusted that completely. Alec gave her one last squeeze before easing up his hold. "Kiss for luck?" he asked meekly.

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I still have an iPhone 3gS - I feel so outdated! onlyparker October 12 2012, 05:13:51 UTC
"You'll be fine," Parker whispered, squeezing him harder, wishing she could do that reassuring fingers-in-hair thing that Hardison was so good at. "I'll tell you exactly where your hands and feet need to go - you just have to hold yourself up. Easy as pie." She frowned after a second, realized she'd never made pie. "I think. It'll be easy."

Parker grinned up at him in response to his question, wiggling out of his loosened grip. "You don't need luck. You have me." She took his hand and led him to the edge of the building, throwing on leg over the concrete barrier so that she was straddling it. "Just do what I tell you to and hold on tight."

Whether or not the police would notice Hardison was gone in enough time to be on the alert for two people crawling down the side of the building was another story. One she had much less control over, and one which she really didn't want to see the ending of.

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No worse than the original iPad! Now they're slated for a mini coming out before the holidays. :| alec_hardison October 12 2012, 20:11:58 UTC
It probably was for the best that she didn't kiss him. That always left him with a lightheaded feeling. Probably all his blood rushing. Definitely not good for what he was about to do. Her smile was enough encouragement. At least, that's what Alec kept telling himself. She would never let anything bad happen to him. How else would he have bungee jumped and fallen off buildings with her?

The trip down went as easy as she said. He didn't even need to look down. Parker kept coaching him where to step next. Alec had even stopped holding his breath. Scaling the building was the last thing the police expected. Portland PD were stumped, assuming their cameras had gone bad as to how someone disappeared from holding.

However, there wasn't exactly an isolated part of the building so as soon as they reached the ground (and he kissed it as he normally did when scared out of his mind), Hardison immediately reached for his cell phone as they ran. Parker wasn't the only thief. He had spent enough time with her to learn how to swipe objects. He had taken back what the police thought they confiscated as his cell phone and ID.

"There," he muttered after a series of typing into the device once they were a few blocks away. "Now they'll think they're looking for Will Smith." Alec put the phone back into his pocket and looked at Parker. He gave her a small but grateful smile, more than ready to go home but allowing her a chance to speak.

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Oh dear. Yet another thing. Ah well, suppose that's just how it goes. onlyparker October 13 2012, 09:55:27 UTC
Her 'tell-Hardsion-where-to-put-his-feet-so-he-doesn't-slip-and-freefall-fifty-feet' plan was only going to be as good as Hardison trusted her. The first time he shifted his foot exactly how she'd told him to was a tense moment for her, and she held her breath as his weight settled onto, nervous as she was for the moment, the earlier confidence disappearing for a moment. But he didn't fall anywhere, didn't panic and try to do it himself. They were going to be okay - the rest of the wall was easy from there, and she skittered down it as fast as she dared, never more than ten feet down from Alec. After all, if he fell, she wanted to be able to at least try and catch him. Not that he was going to, if he listened.

They were on the ground in no time (relatively, considering Hardison, but he really had done well!). Taking only enough time to ensure there were no tails, she took off running after him, wondering how he could keep his focus on the keys when he ran like that. They always got so blurry whenever she tried to move and look. Even now she could feel her eyes getting a little crossed glancing over at him.

"No tails," she told him as they stopped, pulling him into an alley way as they got caught their breathes. Her hand stayed in his, an unconscious decision for all intents and purposes. Now that it was over, she wasn't going to let him go any time soon. It was a good thing she'd started staying over at his place - it was starting to get chilly, and it would get cold hanging outside his window in the harness.

"Will Smith?" The name took a moment to place, and she recalled a movie they'd watched a while ago. "That black guy who fought the aliens?"

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alec_hardison October 13 2012, 16:21:01 UTC
"And robots. And mutated people," he answered simply and continued the walk to their place.

The night had gone all wrong. Admittedly, it could have been worse. Between the climb down after the crawl in the ancient ventilation system, Alec had a surge of adrenaline and couldn't stop moving. He was earnestly grateful for her rescue but couldn't shake how wrong their plan had gone. Maybe he could never really be Nate.

Hardison walked in silence, not realizing how fast his long strides were. He started thinking out loud. Rambling. "I checked LANs, WiFi...they didn't have security footage. Was it just a random person calling the cops? We probably shoud've scouted the block first. Nate would've scouted first, in person."

They probably should've worried about his description given over the radio, regardless of what Alec changed his image to on the police database. Clothes were usually how people were found and he wasn't wearing a jacket that could be easily tossed. Hopefully they would make the walk home without a second nabbing.

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onlyparker October 14 2012, 08:14:01 UTC
There was something off about him. Something in the way he answered, in the way he walked, in the way he seemed to be so... inside his head. And she got that - she really did, but right now, it seemed wrong.

"Okay," she nodded, following after him and watching the streets. He wasn't even keeping his head up to make sure that a stray cruiser didn't notice them - and she could keep up with his pace, but it wasn't comfortable. And it wasn't a focused let's-get-the-hell-off-the-streets walk either. It was just... distracted.

And then he opened his mouth and started thinking, and she finally understood what was going on. What was so off. "It was just a random cop car Alec," she said softly, reaching out to grab his arm and stop his walking. "Nate wouldn't have seen it coming, and no one else would've either. If the others were here, we would've been able to get you out faster, but that's it."

A car rounded the corner and Parker pushed Hardison against the wall, sliding one arm around his side and the other over his shoulder. Her lips were on his in a second and she stretched up on her tip-toes, reaching all the way up to him. Anyone on the lookout would be searching for a criminal and, maybe, an accomplice - not a couple.

But more than that, she wanted to show him right now, right this second, that it didn't matter to her they'd missed something, or gotten unlucky. She didn't want him to be like Nate, or Sophie, or Eliot - she wanted just him, so all that other stuff didn't matter. They were safe together, and it didn't bother her, so it shouldn't bother him.

"Car," she mumbled sheepishly when she broke the kiss off.

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alec_hardison October 16 2012, 04:38:18 UTC
Parker understood even before Alec could. His mind kept scrambling the puzzle pieces, frustrated and disappointed at their fumbled plan. Everything stopped when she stopped him. He searched her eyes, finding only conviction in them. It was easy to she believed what she was telling him. He couldn't let himself off the hook so easily.

And then he was slammed up against the building behind him, caught in an aggressive kiss.

That was definitely a way to make him submit.

He didn't think of anything other than the woman pressed up against him. Hardison was running out of breath yet didn't care. His arms snaked around her body and held her close. Parker meant business and he appreciated it more than words could say. Not that he would attempt speech. After a kiss, he barely could stand without falling over.

She moved off much too soon. (Alec thought that with every kiss.) "Car." Oh. Parker probably meant a police car but she probably could've uttered FBI and he wouldn't have understood. It was enough that she didn't dart away how she used to when they would pretend makeout. He loved how they had grown.

It was a hurried walk to the microbrewery after that. His cell phone remained in a pocket and her hand tucked in his, held at his chest while they walked. Alec held her hand the way a running back would cradle a football. They were just a block away when he finally managed something he couldn't say enough that night. "Thanks."

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onlyparker October 16 2012, 07:53:54 UTC
The car rounded the corner without any hesitation. They were in the clear, but she didn't move off right away, didn't cut her ties and run. It was alright, she'd learnt, to like being with someone. To like being with them enough to like kissing them. That investing a little part of yourself through a kiss wasn't an anchor but a liberty; sticking around didn't lead to a tether, it led to support. And it was a two way street.

She gave him as much time as he needed, staying close in his space, looking up at him and feeling reassured when she saw that the thinking was less there; and less there was good enough for her. They were moving again, before she had a chance to get impatient with being out in the open.

Silence didn't bother her, not this kind. Not most kinds, but she'd been figuring out which ones were supposed to be the awkward ones in the past few years, and that made them more awkward. They rounded a corner and she could see the entrance to the microbrewery. Parker smiled at his thanks, pulling herself closer to him, wrapping her free hand around the forearm of the arm that had claimed hers.

"I'd never not come for you," she reassured. It was the same thing that had driven her to go head to head with the Steranko - the loyalty and dedication she felt for someone she cared for and owed so much. And really, it was because of the crew and Hardison that she understood what loyalty and dedication really meant. What a family was meant to be. That she wasn't so completely broken that it ceased to be a possibility for her. She would defend those people, her family, tooth and nail against anything. Even glorified mall-cops who couldn't comprehend the idea of a breakout.

((ooc: I was just reading through this and realized I mentioned Parker had a harness and belay line. Oops :P I'm also thinking of amending the previous statement of hugging being weird... not quite sure where I was going with that. Probably that it was weird he would take comfort in being hugged, when it would've been too much like being caught for her? Or something? I'm all over the place with this thread, I'm so sorry! /neverbackreading again))

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