HOLLYWOOD >.> /Lisa has some splaining to do. Rachel's place with cuddles pl0xbiggest_heartSeptember 6 2012, 06:30:06 UTC
[Well, the cat is out of the bag, but somehow, Lisa isn't entirely sure that it's being received as warmly as she'd hoped. Which is why she's got a cup of tea warming her hands and a blanket warming her lap and feet while she looks at Rachel across the couch.]
I... Rachel, you've practically been a surrogate mother to me since I was five. I know this is hard, but we have a little time, and I want you to know that I want you in my life, and in Darren's, and in our baby's. We didn't plan for this, and I'm sorry for that.
[She does sound sorry. Incredibly so. And she sounds afraid, which she very much is. Darren's done his part to keep her from total breakdown, but that fear is still very present. She's twenty-five and dealing with a surprise pregnancy; only an idiot wouldn't be scared. But she wants this.]
What will it take to make this up to you so that we can be okay for this family?
There will be cuddles. After the line facing.thediamondstarSeptember 7 2012, 06:52:38 UTC
A large part of her is disappointed. Disappointed that they didn't wait, disappointed that this had to be a surprise to everyone involved and almost an unpleasant one. Some of the feeling probably shows in her expression.
But a part of her is glad. Glad that they told, glad things will be able to mend, glad she'll be able to see her grandchild come into this world.
"I'm not certain this is something that can simply be... made up, Lisa. It's a change in lifestyles that we'll all have to adjust to, and that's more something to be learned to cope with more than reconciled."
And really, at the end of the day there's only so much the girl needs forgiveness for. That the both of them do, although Darren would be going through a bit more of a grind.
"I... presume you'll make things more official between you two?" Because if not, that may be a place to begin. Everyone loves a good wedding.
Mama :((((((((biggest_heartSeptember 7 2012, 20:59:36 UTC
She looks unimaginably guilty right now, guilty enough to set her cup aside and pull her knees up to her chest. She's at four months or so by now, but Rachel has known since a little after she and Darren found out. Things still aren't working out the way she so desperately wants them to.
"I know," she whispers. "My career is on hold, Darren's... He's determined to stay in-state, and I don't know what I'm doing. But I'm sorry, Rachel. This was stupid, and we should have been more careful, and I'm- I'm sorry."
Blame hormones, but there are tears in her eyes, which she is very deliberately hiding in her knees. She's terrified, and marriage hasn't even come up in serious conversation. She doesn't know how to do any of this.
"I...we... It isn't that I don't want to, it's just- I mean, I don't...want to get married just because there's a baby on the way, Rachel. If we're going to do that, why can't it be on our own terms?" Her voice is small. Quiet. Soft and shaky.
It's hard to adjust to. Understandably so, from Rachel's perspective. This is the sort of news a woman both longs for and dreads to hear, depending on the situation.
But the tears in the young woman's eyes stir her out of her own feelings, and she gets up, settles on the couch beside Lisa and rests a hand on her knee.
"That's... understandable." Mostly, "But I cannot help but wonder when your 'own terms' would finally come to be, under the circumstances."
Shaking her head, Lisa shifts to curl against Rachel's side. She's always wanted to be a mother, but she was surprised by this. It isn't her fault. Well, it is, but she can't help being shocked.
"I... I don't know. When we're ready. When we're not being driven to do it because of circumstances beyond our control. Why can't we get married when we think we're ready?" Well, largely because between the family and the headlines, something needs to happen before this baby is born.
"I know, I just... Eileen thinks we can do it on our own timeline, do it after the baby so everything can be perfect and predictable." She rubbed her eyes. "You and Uncle Olly, you're gonna make us choose, though, aren't you? Either we're married on your timeline, or we're not together at all?"
Was it cruel for her to believe that those would be her options? Well, maybe.
It is cruel. Hurts sharply at the part of her that loves both of the children-- adults now, really-- as a mother. But she's an actress, can manage to maintain a look of careful neutrality even though she can't help the way her breath catches before she speaks.
"That's... hardly fair, Lisa." To both think they would wish and to actually wish upon them. She's not certain about Olly, but the simple fact Lisa believes it will take such an ultimatum makes her not wish it in the least.
She shakes her head. "I didn't ask if it's fair. I asked if it's true, because I'm pretty sure it is. That's the way things work around here, isn't it? We have contincency plans for everything, and those contingency plans have to be adhered to if life is supposed to stay on track."
Closing her eyes, Lisa finds her way to Rachel's side so she can rest her head in the older woman's lap. She's the only mother-figure she's ever had. Lisa can't just...let go of her. "I want to officially be part of this family, Rachel, but I just don't know if I'm ready yet. If Darren is ready for it yet. We're still trying to find our feet with this baby thing."
And Rachel certainly doesn't want to lose her connection to her children.
Any of them.
There's a quiet sigh from the older woman as she runs a hand through the blonde's hair, "At least... tell me you'll both consider getting married before the baby's born? For me?"
Not that it'll change much, really. Four months in is too far along to be able to hide from the press.
She relaxes a little bit when she feels Rachel's fingers in her hair.
"We'll talk about it, okay? I mean, Eileen says he's looking for a ring, but I don't know. We'll talk about it." For her. This isn't something Lisa is sure she's ready for, but if it appeases the family, then she'll do it and she won't look back. She can't.
So softly, she whispers, "I love you, mama. Whatever you want, whatever will make you happy, I'll do it for the good of the family. I promise."
What was good for the family would be good for her son, too. It had to be. With s nod, she kissed Rachel's knee. "I know what I need to do, Mama. I'm sorry it took so long."
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I... Rachel, you've practically been a surrogate mother to me since I was five. I know this is hard, but we have a little time, and I want you to know that I want you in my life, and in Darren's, and in our baby's. We didn't plan for this, and I'm sorry for that.
[She does sound sorry. Incredibly so. And she sounds afraid, which she very much is. Darren's done his part to keep her from total breakdown, but that fear is still very present. She's twenty-five and dealing with a surprise pregnancy; only an idiot wouldn't be scared. But she wants this.]
What will it take to make this up to you so that we can be okay for this family?
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But a part of her is glad. Glad that they told, glad things will be able to mend, glad she'll be able to see her grandchild come into this world.
"I'm not certain this is something that can simply be... made up, Lisa. It's a change in lifestyles that we'll all have to adjust to, and that's more something to be learned to cope with more than reconciled."
And really, at the end of the day there's only so much the girl needs forgiveness for. That the both of them do, although Darren would be going through a bit more of a grind.
"I... presume you'll make things more official between you two?" Because if not, that may be a place to begin. Everyone loves a good wedding.
Reply
"I know," she whispers. "My career is on hold, Darren's... He's determined to stay in-state, and I don't know what I'm doing. But I'm sorry, Rachel. This was stupid, and we should have been more careful, and I'm- I'm sorry."
Blame hormones, but there are tears in her eyes, which she is very deliberately hiding in her knees. She's terrified, and marriage hasn't even come up in serious conversation. She doesn't know how to do any of this.
"I...we... It isn't that I don't want to, it's just- I mean, I don't...want to get married just because there's a baby on the way, Rachel. If we're going to do that, why can't it be on our own terms?" Her voice is small. Quiet. Soft and shaky.
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But the tears in the young woman's eyes stir her out of her own feelings, and she gets up, settles on the couch beside Lisa and rests a hand on her knee.
"That's... understandable." Mostly, "But I cannot help but wonder when your 'own terms' would finally come to be, under the circumstances."
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"I... I don't know. When we're ready. When we're not being driven to do it because of circumstances beyond our control. Why can't we get married when we think we're ready?" Well, largely because between the family and the headlines, something needs to happen before this baby is born.
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Even before she and Darren became an Item.
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Was it cruel for her to believe that those would be her options? Well, maybe.
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"That's... hardly fair, Lisa." To both think they would wish and to actually wish upon them. She's not certain about Olly, but the simple fact Lisa believes it will take such an ultimatum makes her not wish it in the least.
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Any of them.
There's a quiet sigh from the older woman as she runs a hand through the blonde's hair, "At least... tell me you'll both consider getting married before the baby's born? For me?"
Not that it'll change much, really. Four months in is too far along to be able to hide from the press.
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"We'll talk about it, okay? I mean, Eileen says he's looking for a ring, but I don't know. We'll talk about it." For her. This isn't something Lisa is sure she's ready for, but if it appeases the family, then she'll do it and she won't look back. She can't.
So softly, she whispers, "I love you, mama. Whatever you want, whatever will make you happy, I'll do it for the good of the family. I promise."
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There's the baby's, too.
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