[Sam, if he were ever going to eat a person, Ruby is absolutely the last one in the world he'd go for. She'd probably poison him through sheer willpower alone, the bitch.
He moved through the apartment- man, this place was a shithole- toward the bedroom. Not much better in there, either, and of course Sam didn't have a dufflebag or something. Screw it. He grabbed a kitchen trash bag, began to stuff in articles without even really looking at them. If one or two of Ruby's got mixed in, well, fuck it. They'll just throw it out later. He'll rewash the same two outfits if he has to, until they can buy Sam some better gear.
He stomped back into the living room, met Sam's eyes for the first time since bursting in this joint, trash bag gripped tightly in one hand. He held up a finger.]
Gonna say this one time, Sam. You're getting in the car. Now, whether you walk there yourself or I carry you is entirely up to you, but we're not playing any games.
[Sam used to be big. He was still tall, but now... Well, between the drugs and the inability to afford fucking food, he was thin, wasting away, scrawny, unhealthy. Dean would knock his ass out if he had to.]
[C'mon, Dean. Things that come through walls always eat the people inside. Don't you watch the Sci-Fi channel?
Sam watched Dean move through the apartment with a detached kind of confusion. Most of his life was spent not entirely sure that what was going on around him was real or not. Sometimes he wished Dean was there and thought he saw him. He usually vanished after a few minutes. This particular hallucination seemed to be hanging around a while.
He looked up at his brother when Dean made his ultimatum. Why did he need to get in the car? He was tired, sick, and not in the mood for a lecture. Then again, since this was probably all in his head anyway, there wasn't any harm in getting in the car, right? He liked Dean's car more than he'd admit to. They'd had some good times in that car, before everything went to Hell.]
Okay... just no yelling.
[It was ridiculous how good his own subconscious was at recreating Dean's tirades. Sam pushed himself slowly to his feet and wobbled. Couldn't remember if he'd actually been on them today at all. Probably not.]
[The Sci-Fi channel? You mean the one people watch when they can't get laid? No, he prefers having sex. And zombies.
Sam could keep on thinking he was a hallucination for now- he was easier to keep in line that way. When he started to come down, that's where the real problem was going to be. He was signing himself up for a shitload of sleepless nights and sleeping in front of the door, yeah, he got that. And poor Cas- shit, he really ought to have given Cas a little warning, but it was too late for that now.]
Fine. Long as you do what I tell you to, no yelling.
[He wasn't in a yelling mood. He was in a 'getting shit done' mood, which was entirely action and no talk. He saw Sam wobble, moved forward to loop an arm around his waist and help keep him upright. Ruby hadn't moved throughout the entire discussion. That was... pretty damn concerning, actually.
His first priority was Sam, though. Once he got Sam safely to the car, he'd call an ambulance to make sure she was just tweaking and hadn't actually OD-ed.]
[Oh yeah. Sam was easy to get along with now. Just wait until withdrawals kicked in. Then Dean might wish he'd left Sam where he found him.
When Dean grabbed him, Sam found and lifted a hand to prod his brother's chest lightly. His hallucinations always seemed real when they were happening, but this was especially solid. Kind of weird.]
Dean? What...?
[Why would Dean be there? He hated Ruby and he wasn't too fond of Sam these days. Sam looked around, gaze finally landing on Ruby.]
[Ah, crap. And now that Dean was more than just a figment of his imagination, things were undoubtedly gonna get more difficult. Please, Sam, just for once, don't be a gigantic pain in the ass. This is happening whether you like it or not, and if you put up a fight now, he's investing in one of those bolts to put on the outside of his bedroom door. He'll live on the couch for two months and bolt Sam in his bedroom if he's gotta. Enough is enough.]
Already told you. We're going to the car. Don't worry- I got someone checking up on your girlfriend.
[He tugged Sam forward with one arm, muscles tightening a little to pointedly nudge him along.]
It's gonna be alright, Sammy, just come on. We're going for a ride.
[Sam didn't really have a whole lot of protest in him. He felt like he should be protesting, but he couldn't clear his head enough to figure out why or what to say. It was just easier to coast along for now.]
I think I'm supposed to be here. [He mumbled even as he was stumbling out the door and headed to the elevator with Dean's arm tight around him.] M'not supposed to be in your car.
[If he can just keep it aloof, keep Sam from thinking he's about to... well, about to do exactly what he plans to do, they might be alright. He might be able to head off this fight at the pass, if he can just keep his jaw from working and his anger under control.
Tough job, all things considered. He holds on tight as he waits for the elevator to sail up from the lobby. Partially for support, partially to seem reassuring, and mostly to keep Sam from bolting.]
Nah, you're supposed to be in my car. We're gonna get some food- get you a shower, wash your clothes up. Sounds good, doesn't it, Sam?
[On anyone else, talking to them like they're a child might sound patronizing, but he's trying for soothing, trying to keep it light and easy and comforting, because damn it, Sam, you're breaking his heart over here.]
What do you want, huh? You want pizza? We could do pizza. Or maybe some of that health food crap you always used to dig so much.
[It was hard to focus. Sam wasn't far off his last hit and even though it wasn't exactly doing wonderful things for him like he'd hoped, it was still muddying the waters well enough that he wasn't sure what exactly was going on. He was suspicious, though. Part of him didn't want to believe the things Dean was saying.
The part of him that was tired, sick, and really, really hungry did, though. Wanted really bad to believe.]
I guess... pizza would be good?
[His stomach growled just thinking about it. He blinked when the doors to the elevator opened and Dean guided him inside. A spark of worry bloomed in his chest as he watched the doors slide closed.
[Alright. Good. Pizza would be good. That's a good sign. Just... keep it calm, keep it level, and keep shit under control, Dean. If this gets outta hand... Well, he really doesn't want to have to explain to people why he's man-handling a giant into the back seat of his car.
He guided them both into the elevator, which began to slowly descend with the soothing overture of crappy elevator music. Was this a free-form jazz version of Lady Gaga? Could this day get any weirder?]
Good. I love me some pizza. What kind do you want? Can we get meat, or are you gonna bitch at me until we stick on vegetables?
[Which wasn't likely to happen. Sam wasn't exactly health conscious anymore. Blah blah Gandhi was a Frutarian went out the window sometime after the heroin.
Three more floors to go, then the lobby, then the parking lot, and from there it was smooth sailing.]
[Sam started to squirm before he realized he was doing it. Tried to wiggle away from Dean and back into the corner of the elevator. Dean never came over to his place. Never dragged him out for food. What was happening?]
Dean, wait what... what's going on?
[Not that the squirming was doing him any good. Even if he wasn't high as a kite, he was still lacking severely in muscle mass these days. Dean could probably pick him up and carry him if he wanted to.]
Are you mad at me?
[He was in trouble for something. Had to be. Dean usually turned up when he was pissed and Sam had done something particularly stupid. What had he done now?]
Okay, universe. Or God. Or whatever. If you could just... do him this one solid, just this one time. After all the shit he's been through, he just needs this one thing. Just help him get Sam home, get him better. Please?
He lets Sam squirm out of his grip, because holding him down right now isn't gonna help anything. It's not like he can go anywhere, they're in a friggin' elevator.]
I'm not mad at you, Sam, okay? Just calm down. We're just gonna get some food and spend some time together right now, I swear.
[Right now. Until Sam passes out, at which point he's getting moved to the bedroom for the foreseeable future.]
[If Dean was pissed at him, he usually didn't have any trouble voicing it. Sam supposed it was possible Dean just wanted to see him. He scratched his neck nervously. Needed a shave. And a shower. Hell, he needed a lot of things. Even he knew that.
He watched his brother for a moment. Something was niggling in the back of his mind, but he couldn't bring it into focus.]
[He promises he's not mad. He promises Sam's going to get a shower, and some food, and they're going to spend time together.
But he sure as hell doesn't promise that's all it is. They'll deal with that when the time comes. He's half tempted to take him to Bobby's, but him and Ellen don't need that kinda shit, and Sam wouldn't want them to see him this way. Not that they're ignorant to his condition.
The elevator doors slide open again, and he moves forward to wrap his arm around Sam's waist again, to guide him out into the lobby.]
When we get back, are you gonna be able to shower on your own?
[Considering he could barely stand a minute ago, he feels it's a valid question. He's also a little afraid Sam will accidentally drown himself because he's hallucinating that the shower head is a snake or something.]
[Sam wrapped an arm around his brother's shoulders and let Dean lead him out of the elevator. He was too tired to struggle anymore. It was easier just to believe Dean.]
I can shower on my own. Just don't promise it'll be quick.
[He'd forget what he was doing at least once, that was almost guaranteed. The sight of the Impala made him smile a little. Been a while since he'd been inside his brother's car. He kind of missed it.]
[Asking Sam to do anything quickly right now would just be a huge waste of time. He's pretty sure Sam's already forgotten where they're going, and the fact that they left Ruby passed out in the corner of the room completely dead to the world.
He tugged the door open, did an awkward crab shuffle to help Sam into the passenger's seat, then slammed the door behind him. Rounded the car to get in as well, and cranked the ignition.
Right. About Ruby. Well, better to get the car moving before he made the 911 call, in case Sam decided to do something stupid and gallant like the doofus he was. Don't worry, I'll save you, Ruby! By diving out of this car and stumbling back upstairs to... stare at you.]
[Hey, he could totally be gallant right now! If he wanted to. But, he doesn't. So there.
The rumble of the Impala's engine is soothing and starts to lull Sam back into his spaced-out, fuzzy state of mind. It was nice. Simple. Sam needed simple right now. Just like he needed a shower, food, and sleep.
It appeared that Dean's prayers for a calm ride home had been answered. Sam heard Dean talking on his cellphone, but didn't bother tuning in. It was simpler just to curl into the seat and watch the scenery scroll by.]
He moved through the apartment- man, this place was a shithole- toward the bedroom. Not much better in there, either, and of course Sam didn't have a dufflebag or something. Screw it. He grabbed a kitchen trash bag, began to stuff in articles without even really looking at them. If one or two of Ruby's got mixed in, well, fuck it. They'll just throw it out later. He'll rewash the same two outfits if he has to, until they can buy Sam some better gear.
He stomped back into the living room, met Sam's eyes for the first time since bursting in this joint, trash bag gripped tightly in one hand. He held up a finger.]
Gonna say this one time, Sam. You're getting in the car. Now, whether you walk there yourself or I carry you is entirely up to you, but we're not playing any games.
[Sam used to be big. He was still tall, but now... Well, between the drugs and the inability to afford fucking food, he was thin, wasting away, scrawny, unhealthy. Dean would knock his ass out if he had to.]
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Sam watched Dean move through the apartment with a detached kind of confusion. Most of his life was spent not entirely sure that what was going on around him was real or not. Sometimes he wished Dean was there and thought he saw him. He usually vanished after a few minutes. This particular hallucination seemed to be hanging around a while.
He looked up at his brother when Dean made his ultimatum. Why did he need to get in the car? He was tired, sick, and not in the mood for a lecture. Then again, since this was probably all in his head anyway, there wasn't any harm in getting in the car, right? He liked Dean's car more than he'd admit to. They'd had some good times in that car, before everything went to Hell.]
Okay... just no yelling.
[It was ridiculous how good his own subconscious was at recreating Dean's tirades. Sam pushed himself slowly to his feet and wobbled. Couldn't remember if he'd actually been on them today at all. Probably not.]
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Sam could keep on thinking he was a hallucination for now- he was easier to keep in line that way. When he started to come down, that's where the real problem was going to be. He was signing himself up for a shitload of sleepless nights and sleeping in front of the door, yeah, he got that. And poor Cas- shit, he really ought to have given Cas a little warning, but it was too late for that now.]
Fine. Long as you do what I tell you to, no yelling.
[He wasn't in a yelling mood. He was in a 'getting shit done' mood, which was entirely action and no talk. He saw Sam wobble, moved forward to loop an arm around his waist and help keep him upright. Ruby hadn't moved throughout the entire discussion. That was... pretty damn concerning, actually.
His first priority was Sam, though. Once he got Sam safely to the car, he'd call an ambulance to make sure she was just tweaking and hadn't actually OD-ed.]
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When Dean grabbed him, Sam found and lifted a hand to prod his brother's chest lightly. His hallucinations always seemed real when they were happening, but this was especially solid. Kind of weird.]
Dean? What...?
[Why would Dean be there? He hated Ruby and he wasn't too fond of Sam these days. Sam looked around, gaze finally landing on Ruby.]
Hey... wait. I can't just leave. Where'm I going?
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Already told you. We're going to the car. Don't worry- I got someone checking up on your girlfriend.
[He tugged Sam forward with one arm, muscles tightening a little to pointedly nudge him along.]
It's gonna be alright, Sammy, just come on. We're going for a ride.
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[Sam didn't really have a whole lot of protest in him. He felt like he should be protesting, but he couldn't clear his head enough to figure out why or what to say. It was just easier to coast along for now.]
I think I'm supposed to be here. [He mumbled even as he was stumbling out the door and headed to the elevator with Dean's arm tight around him.] M'not supposed to be in your car.
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Tough job, all things considered. He holds on tight as he waits for the elevator to sail up from the lobby. Partially for support, partially to seem reassuring, and mostly to keep Sam from bolting.]
Nah, you're supposed to be in my car. We're gonna get some food- get you a shower, wash your clothes up. Sounds good, doesn't it, Sam?
[On anyone else, talking to them like they're a child might sound patronizing, but he's trying for soothing, trying to keep it light and easy and comforting, because damn it, Sam, you're breaking his heart over here.]
What do you want, huh? You want pizza? We could do pizza. Or maybe some of that health food crap you always used to dig so much.
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The part of him that was tired, sick, and really, really hungry did, though. Wanted really bad to believe.]
I guess... pizza would be good?
[His stomach growled just thinking about it. He blinked when the doors to the elevator opened and Dean guided him inside. A spark of worry bloomed in his chest as he watched the doors slide closed.
Something was definitely wrong.]
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He guided them both into the elevator, which began to slowly descend with the soothing overture of crappy elevator music. Was this a free-form jazz version of Lady Gaga? Could this day get any weirder?]
Good. I love me some pizza. What kind do you want? Can we get meat, or are you gonna bitch at me until we stick on vegetables?
[Which wasn't likely to happen. Sam wasn't exactly health conscious anymore. Blah blah Gandhi was a Frutarian went out the window sometime after the heroin.
Three more floors to go, then the lobby, then the parking lot, and from there it was smooth sailing.]
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Dean, wait what... what's going on?
[Not that the squirming was doing him any good. Even if he wasn't high as a kite, he was still lacking severely in muscle mass these days. Dean could probably pick him up and carry him if he wanted to.]
Are you mad at me?
[He was in trouble for something. Had to be. Dean usually turned up when he was pissed and Sam had done something particularly stupid. What had he done now?]
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Okay, universe. Or God. Or whatever. If you could just... do him this one solid, just this one time. After all the shit he's been through, he just needs this one thing. Just help him get Sam home, get him better. Please?
He lets Sam squirm out of his grip, because holding him down right now isn't gonna help anything. It's not like he can go anywhere, they're in a friggin' elevator.]
I'm not mad at you, Sam, okay? Just calm down. We're just gonna get some food and spend some time together right now, I swear.
[Right now. Until Sam passes out, at which point he's getting moved to the bedroom for the foreseeable future.]
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He watched his brother for a moment. Something was niggling in the back of his mind, but he couldn't bring it into focus.]
Really? You promise?
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[He promises he's not mad. He promises Sam's going to get a shower, and some food, and they're going to spend time together.
But he sure as hell doesn't promise that's all it is. They'll deal with that when the time comes. He's half tempted to take him to Bobby's, but him and Ellen don't need that kinda shit, and Sam wouldn't want them to see him this way. Not that they're ignorant to his condition.
The elevator doors slide open again, and he moves forward to wrap his arm around Sam's waist again, to guide him out into the lobby.]
When we get back, are you gonna be able to shower on your own?
[Considering he could barely stand a minute ago, he feels it's a valid question. He's also a little afraid Sam will accidentally drown himself because he's hallucinating that the shower head is a snake or something.]
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[Sam wrapped an arm around his brother's shoulders and let Dean lead him out of the elevator. He was too tired to struggle anymore. It was easier just to believe Dean.]
I can shower on my own. Just don't promise it'll be quick.
[He'd forget what he was doing at least once, that was almost guaranteed. The sight of the Impala made him smile a little. Been a while since he'd been inside his brother's car. He kind of missed it.]
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[Asking Sam to do anything quickly right now would just be a huge waste of time. He's pretty sure Sam's already forgotten where they're going, and the fact that they left Ruby passed out in the corner of the room completely dead to the world.
He tugged the door open, did an awkward crab shuffle to help Sam into the passenger's seat, then slammed the door behind him. Rounded the car to get in as well, and cranked the ignition.
Right. About Ruby. Well, better to get the car moving before he made the 911 call, in case Sam decided to do something stupid and gallant like the doofus he was. Don't worry, I'll save you, Ruby! By diving out of this car and stumbling back upstairs to... stare at you.]
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The rumble of the Impala's engine is soothing and starts to lull Sam back into his spaced-out, fuzzy state of mind. It was nice. Simple. Sam needed simple right now. Just like he needed a shower, food, and sleep.
It appeared that Dean's prayers for a calm ride home had been answered. Sam heard Dean talking on his cellphone, but didn't bother tuning in. It was simpler just to curl into the seat and watch the scenery scroll by.]
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