Loki will come to Jane’s apartment and find it cleaned and empty. She had been looking forward to having a day off for a long time, and she took it the moment she could with a kiss to Loki’s cheek before she went out the door with a bright smile. The two of them had been sort of together for… a few months. It was still complicated and unsure, and everyone around them had all sorts of mixed feelings and about opinions.
However, on a stack of papers that were meant for the trash bin, despite them being neatly stacked, there will be a letter addressed to him, no stamp:
Loki, you have no idea how many times I have written this letter.
Over and over again, I tried to find the right words. I have wasted so much paper and ink on you, but then again, it might not be the worst thing. I’ve thought about you ever since that day in Vegas. It hurts, thinking of how you planned to use me like that. It hurts remembering that I was completely sincere in my words and actions, even though I was under the influence of alcohol. Then again, maybe this was a good thing.
I’ve done a lot of thinking. Thor and I were meant to be friends. I let him go months ago, and it’s been a year since. I’ve seen the way he’s looked at Sif now, from time to time, and I want to push them together already. They were made for each other.
So it makes me think of us. You once promised me the stars.
I wonder if we’ll ever run into each other, if you’ll ever offer that to me, if you’ll ever give me the chance to say yes. Because I have been doing a lot of thinking-of you, of all sorts of things, of this ring I keep on my wrist because I can’t seem to put it in a drawer or some little box without feeling like something is missing.
And I’ve come to realize that if given the chance, I think I could really love you.
He's been terrible at being with her when he isn't actually present. It takes almost no time at all for Loki's thoughts to return to the patterns of why is she attempting this and ridiculous woman and I'm not a man to love. But he's trying now, and it's going well.
Which is why it's a surprise to see a note with his name on it.
It's out of date, irrelevant now, and it really shouldn't matter, but he reads it through twice and then sits back. After a few minutes he stands and walks out onto the balcony beside her telescope, silent and thoughtful. He'll be there when she returns, with the letter on a table beside the door.
Jane will come back about two hours later, having finally gotten a lot of errands done: bills paid, phone upgraded, mail sent off, and some groceries and cleaning supplies that they needed to restock on. Setting the bags on the counter, she doesn't even see the letter on the table by the door, or that it was opened.
"Are you here, Loki?" she calls. She knows he comes and goes as he pleases, and she doesn't mind too much. It's nice to see him when she does if they can avoid awkwardness and discussions of why they're together or even whether or not Loki could be loved. She could never really answer those questions with definite answers.
For all her reasons and purposes, Jane just accepts the steadily growing love she has for Loki to be for what it is.
He is here, and he glances over when he hears her enter, but he doesn't answer. She'll discover him outside soon enough, and he's still spending time in his thoughts.
He'd always known she'd felt more for him than she ought, but it's somehow different seeing it written out. More permanent. More real. He hasn't yet finished deciding what that means.
"Hey," she says softly, going over to him on the balcony. Reaching out, she touched his shoulder gently, rubbing a little. "You okay?"
She would admit that she always did feel more than she should, or more than others thought that she should. Jane never listened to too many people anyways; that wasn't how she wanted to live her life.
However, on a stack of papers that were meant for the trash bin, despite them being neatly stacked, there will be a letter addressed to him, no stamp:
Loki, you have no idea how many times I have written this letter.
Over and over again, I tried to find the right words. I have wasted so much paper and ink on you, but then again, it might not be the worst thing. I’ve thought about you ever since that day in Vegas. It hurts, thinking of how you planned to use me like that. It hurts remembering that I was completely sincere in my words and actions, even though I was under the influence of alcohol. Then again, maybe this was a good thing.
I’ve done a lot of thinking. Thor and I were meant to be friends. I let him go months ago, and it’s been a year since. I’ve seen the way he’s looked at Sif now, from time to time, and I want to push them together already. They were made for each other.
So it makes me think of us. You once promised me the stars.
I wonder if we’ll ever run into each other, if you’ll ever offer that to me, if you’ll ever give me the chance to say yes. Because I have been doing a lot of thinking-of you, of all sorts of things, of this ring I keep on my wrist because I can’t seem to put it in a drawer or some little box without feeling like something is missing.
And I’ve come to realize that if given the chance, I think I could really love you.
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Which is why it's a surprise to see a note with his name on it.
It's out of date, irrelevant now, and it really shouldn't matter, but he reads it through twice and then sits back. After a few minutes he stands and walks out onto the balcony beside her telescope, silent and thoughtful. He'll be there when she returns, with the letter on a table beside the door.
Reply
"Are you here, Loki?" she calls. She knows he comes and goes as he pleases, and she doesn't mind too much. It's nice to see him when she does if they can avoid awkwardness and discussions of why they're together or even whether or not Loki could be loved. She could never really answer those questions with definite answers.
For all her reasons and purposes, Jane just accepts the steadily growing love she has for Loki to be for what it is.
Reply
He'd always known she'd felt more for him than she ought, but it's somehow different seeing it written out. More permanent. More real. He hasn't yet finished deciding what that means.
Reply
She would admit that she always did feel more than she should, or more than others thought that she should. Jane never listened to too many people anyways; that wasn't how she wanted to live her life.
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