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Wolf O'Donnell | Star Fox butimbetter August 15 2011, 06:26:20 UTC
You are WOLF O'DONNELL, and today is another AWESOME day in your life as a galaxy-renowned criminal! Of course, it's not quite as AWESOME as it could be. Your rival team, STAR FOX, has been muscling into your territory. Time to teach those pups a lesson! Your darling WOLFEN is waiting in the nearby HANGAR for deployment. You could get the jump on them now...

Or you could CALL YOUR FRIENDS for backup. Surely they'd be ready and willing to aid in your cause?

Or you could just SCREW THE RULES and head down to SARGASSO to get HILARIOUSLY DRUNK. What do you do?

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notachav August 15 2011, 08:23:24 UTC
>attempt to sell your body for extra cash so you can buy a better ride than some crap WOLFEN or whateverthefuck|

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butimbetter August 15 2011, 08:30:12 UTC
Everybody in Lylat already wants to sleep with you, so turning a profit off it is easy! The cash starts rolling in, and now you can afford a shiny new upgrade to the WOLFEN! Or some other vehicle of your choice.

WOLF O'DONNELL has gained the title "Lord Prostitute"! What would you like to do now?

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notachav August 15 2011, 08:45:54 UTC
>decide that you don't need a new vehicle. donate all earned profit to a CHILDREN'S CHARITY anonymously|

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butimbetter August 15 2011, 08:51:13 UTC
SUCCESS! Your shameless screwing has helped crippled orphans everywhere live happier lives! They're still crippled, though.

WOLF O'DONNELL has gained the title "Fuckin' Saint"! Your morality shifts to Lawful Neutral! Maybe now would be a good time to patch things up with STAR FOX?

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notachav August 15 2011, 08:57:23 UTC
>call STAR FOX and remind him that he still owes you a DRINK from before you became a TERRIBLE PERSON-FOX-THING. try to fit in a mention of the time you had sex with his MOTHER and donated the proceeds to CHARITY to let him know how much of a giver you have become|

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butimbetter August 15 2011, 09:02:49 UTC
Oh, no! STAR FOX is now sobbing hysterically over the phone! Apparently his (dead) mother is a sensitive subject. Do you attempt to console him, or...

Rush over to his place, beat his ass, and donate all of his money to POOR CRIPPLED ORPHANS CHARITY?

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notachav August 15 2011, 09:06:38 UTC
>beat his ass and donate all his money to POOR CRIPPLED ORPHANS CHARITY|

>why the hell would you want to be friends with a guy who cries about his mum? do you LIKE him?

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butimbetter August 15 2011, 09:12:34 UTC
What kind of question is that? Obviously not. You, WOLF O'DONNELL, are the pillar of masculinity! Never mind the fact that you stalk STAR FOX on a regular basis and have wet dreams of "dogfighting" him each and every night!

...WOLF O'DONNELL has earned the title "Practically in Narnia". But you still like girls, okay? Boobs. Ass. And stuff.

You should obviously take this opportunity to BANG SOME CHICKS and prove your manliness to the world.

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notachav August 15 2011, 09:23:03 UTC
>wonder why the hell you're sitting here playing a game about closeted wolf furries|

[wait fuck that was a command for her. she immediately types in another one.]

>CANCEL THAT
>hire a THERAPIST with some hustled funds and do some SOUL SEARCHING to understand your TRUE MOTIVATIONS for this animosity with STAR FOX|

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butimbetter August 15 2011, 09:31:34 UTC
Unrecognized command. Did you mean "take this opportunity to BANG SOME CHICKS and prove your manliness to the world"?

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notachav August 15 2011, 09:33:06 UTC
>understand that i am fooling no one with this act. BANG SOME CHICKS anyway|

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butimbetter August 15 2011, 09:39:58 UTC
You BANG SOME CHICKS while thinking about STAR FOX the entire time.

You are now contemplating SUICIDE. Do you reconcile with STAR FOX, drown your miseries in booze, or take the sweet medicine to the head?

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notachav August 15 2011, 09:46:03 UTC
>SUICIDE would be a pussyout. MAN UP and reconcile with STAR FOX. do not mention his MOTHER this time|

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butimbetter August 15 2011, 09:47:45 UTC
You gently reason with STAR FOX and try to be as consoling as possible. Luckily, he seems to have forgiven you. He's even smiling!

Do you GO FOR THE HUG or PLAY IT COOL and act like it's nothing?

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notachav August 15 2011, 09:54:36 UTC
>act like the manly man you are and HUG IT OUT. do not GO FOR THE KISS yet|

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