OH HAAAAAY! <3333onparkbenchesApril 6 2012, 22:47:21 UTC
[[ooc: ahhaha no worries, new muses are always nervewracking. jkajksda I love Anya and Anya & Cas as buddies is just super adorable and awesome. <3]]
[If there's anyone on earth that understands the way Anya's feeling right now, it's Castiel. Castiel, who used to be powerful, nearly indestructible, just a hair away from immortal... He isn't human, not quite, but he is mortal, and it isn't hard to imagine what Anya's going through. By this point Castiel is no stranger to pain, and loathe as he is to admit it, he's not exactly inexperienced with fear, either.
He shifts so that he's kneeling next to her, palm still firmly pressed against that wound.]
I don't know where he is. Try to be still.
[He turns, eyes scanning the door, ears tuned for the sound of footsteps that aren't there. There's the vague feeling that he should be saying something, something comforting, something human... But he doesn't know what that something is, he never does. He drags his gaze from the door back to Anya, and though he's well aware of who she is and what she used to be, the suffering she's caused, he can't help the pang of sadness and sympathy at her fate. He supposes it's just a part of being mortal, feeling things as mortals do.
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!! <33333eatskeezycheeseApril 6 2012, 23:28:52 UTC
[[It really is! Not something I'd have thought about originally, but the more I think about it, the more it works 8D]]
Why? why isn't he here? [She always thought - okay, not always, but recently since being human and falling in love - envisioned growing old and horribly wrinkly with Xander. If he still loved her when she was all wrinkly - that was always a worry. Now she's been proven wrong. But... she supposes at least she has one friend here at the end, at least.]
They didn't even kill me properly, and I'm getting blood everywhere. I liked this rug. [Maybe now would be the best time to see if she can't nip that saying whatever she's thinking at that point in time thing in the bud. But then she chuckles, and it's caught between humour and grief, and turns into a cough anyway.] What do I care, I'm going to be dead anyway. [To both thoughts.]
[ooc: Anya and Giles are the two Buffy characters I would kill for onscreen crossover interaction with Cas. It'd be hilarious, oh maaaan.]
[He's been frowning at the wound with such intensity, as if he might be able to will the skin to knit itself back together if he just glares at it hard enough... But it hasn't worked, and if anything he's started to get a headache from the creasing of his brow.
His face softens somewhat as he looks back at Anya's face, so pale and tired... And there's fear there, too, open and raw and he's at a loss for what to say. Dean would know, he thinks.]
I... Don't know. He should be.
[Probably not the most sensitive of things to say, but Castiel has never claimed to understand tact. And it's the truth. if Anya's going to die like this- and she almost certainly will- it should be Xander here, not him. They'd never really gotten along, he and Xander, but Castiel has to appreciate his heart, and fully acknowledges that in this situation, he'd be a much better companion.
Anya bemoans the state of her rug, and anyone else might roll their eyes, or laugh, but Castiel can only feel sadness for her- he hopes her last thoughts are something more comforting than a ruined carpet. It's so mundane, so human...]
I'll take care of the rug.
[It's all he can really offer, and the thought that he, an angel can't do anything else is difficult to stomach. He still isn't quite used to be so helpless.]
Are you-- [He frowns down at the wound again, and again can't seem to summon up anything even remotely appropriate to say.] I'm sorry.
[[Yessssss. that, and willow with Sam and Dean interactions. May also be a buffy/Dean shipper >>
[It's not really that it's so human. In fact, it's probably something that marks Anya out as different - humans would be more worried about what their family and friends were going to do without them, where they were going to... anything but the damned rug. Until Joyce had died, she hadn't understood why that was, either.
Not that she had understood any better afterwards, actually. All she knew was that the thought of it had left her with an aching sadness that she'd never felt in the face of death before and that everyone had felt it, and that none of them had seemed to be able to explain any of it to her. She'd just wanted to understand why it felt so bad, why all of them had felt so terrible.
In fact, her best companion right now to have, even if she can't think of anyone but Xander, would be Cas. Because he wasn't trying to make everything feel better through lies. she understood why people lied. She didn't understand why they lied to try and make things like this go away, or pretend it was going to.]
Why? You didn't do this. [She gestured with a heavy hand to the wound.] Unless you told them to. [She scowled at him.] You didn't, did you? cause I know people. They'll kick your ass if you did. [But the threat's effect was probably dampened somewhat by the wet hacking cough that left blood on her hand when she pulled it away. Which she pulls a face at.] ...Ugh. That's not good.
[[ooc: oh man, yes! And askjhfas I am totally a Buffy/Dean shipper. Most people seem to like Faith/Dean, but I'm definitely on the Buffy/Dean side. Faith/Cas, on the other hand >w>...]]
[Castiel's understanding of how the human mind works is perhaps a bit limited, especially in a situation like this. He himself has experienced death, in a way, and his thoughts at the time had certainly reflected his nature at the time; there'd been no hesitation, no worry or fear, just determination, purpose. He wouldn't have it any other way, of course- he's a soldier, after all, and he'd been content to die like one.
He wonders if he'll feel the same way when he approaches a second, more permanent death...
It doesn't really cross Castiel's mind to make Anya feel better, exactly... Maybe physically, but emotionally? Spiritually? He's aware it'd be a pretty pointless endeavor. She's dying, and there's nothing he can do, so there's no point in trying to reassure her otherwise.
He shakes his head.]
No, this wasn't my doing. But I feel regret regardless.
[Is that strange? He's still working out the whole human emotion situation... Should he not feel that way right now? He shifts as she strains to cough, blinks down at the blood speckling her hand. No, that definitely isn't good.]
[[LOL! I'm in a game with that ship in progress hahaha not that I play either of them. I can see why faith/dean would be popular, but between them, I couldn't see it being more than one night, ever. Buffy/Dean would have all the feels. and hilarity. and understanding. /fangirl flail.
and now I may or may not ship anya/cas. THANKS YOU B| ‹3]]
[She glared dimly at him for a few more seconds, before putting her head back and the suspiscion rolls away as quickly as it had come. She was confident that if he did, Buffy, Xander, Giles, and everyone would find out and kill him anyway.] That's good. That means they won't have to kill you.
[She then... huffs. Surprisingly. It feels like she's been laying here hours, but she hasn't. not that long has passed, really, and now...] I'm bored. At least I didn't leave people bored when I killed them. Maybe I should have, it seems a lot worse than what I put them through. but that might because I'm on the dying end. [She knows if Xander was here, he'd have entertained her... or cried. Actually, he probably would have cried. He's manly like that.
With all his rippling manliness...
mmm...] Make sure Xander digs at least sme of my grave. Topless. With all his sweating manliness. If I'm going to be dead, I should at least be able to enjoy my funeral.
[If there's anyone on earth that understands the way Anya's feeling right now, it's Castiel. Castiel, who used to be powerful, nearly indestructible, just a hair away from immortal... He isn't human, not quite, but he is mortal, and it isn't hard to imagine what Anya's going through. By this point Castiel is no stranger to pain, and loathe as he is to admit it, he's not exactly inexperienced with fear, either.
He shifts so that he's kneeling next to her, palm still firmly pressed against that wound.]
I don't know where he is. Try to be still.
[He turns, eyes scanning the door, ears tuned for the sound of footsteps that aren't there. There's the vague feeling that he should be saying something, something comforting, something human... But he doesn't know what that something is, he never does. He drags his gaze from the door back to Anya, and though he's well aware of who she is and what she used to be, the suffering she's caused, he can't help the pang of sadness and sympathy at her fate. He supposes it's just a part of being mortal, feeling things as mortals do.
He doesn't like it.]
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Why? why isn't he here? [She always thought - okay, not always, but recently since being human and falling in love - envisioned growing old and horribly wrinkly with Xander. If he still loved her when she was all wrinkly - that was always a worry. Now she's been proven wrong. But... she supposes at least she has one friend here at the end, at least.]
They didn't even kill me properly, and I'm getting blood everywhere. I liked this rug. [Maybe now would be the best time to see if she can't nip that saying whatever she's thinking at that point in time thing in the bud. But then she chuckles, and it's caught between humour and grief, and turns into a cough anyway.] What do I care, I'm going to be dead anyway. [To both thoughts.]
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[He's been frowning at the wound with such intensity, as if he might be able to will the skin to knit itself back together if he just glares at it hard enough... But it hasn't worked, and if anything he's started to get a headache from the creasing of his brow.
His face softens somewhat as he looks back at Anya's face, so pale and tired... And there's fear there, too, open and raw and he's at a loss for what to say. Dean would know, he thinks.]
I... Don't know. He should be.
[Probably not the most sensitive of things to say, but Castiel has never claimed to understand tact. And it's the truth. if Anya's going to die like this- and she almost certainly will- it should be Xander here, not him. They'd never really gotten along, he and Xander, but Castiel has to appreciate his heart, and fully acknowledges that in this situation, he'd be a much better companion.
Anya bemoans the state of her rug, and anyone else might roll their eyes, or laugh, but Castiel can only feel sadness for her- he hopes her last thoughts are something more comforting than a ruined carpet. It's so mundane, so human...]
I'll take care of the rug.
[It's all he can really offer, and the thought that he, an angel can't do anything else is difficult to stomach. He still isn't quite used to be so helpless.]
Are you-- [He frowns down at the wound again, and again can't seem to summon up anything even remotely appropriate to say.] I'm sorry.
Reply
[It's not really that it's so human. In fact, it's probably something that marks Anya out as different - humans would be more worried about what their family and friends were going to do without them, where they were going to... anything but the damned rug. Until Joyce had died, she hadn't understood why that was, either.
Not that she had understood any better afterwards, actually. All she knew was that the thought of it had left her with an aching sadness that she'd never felt in the face of death before and that everyone had felt it, and that none of them had seemed to be able to explain any of it to her. She'd just wanted to understand why it felt so bad, why all of them had felt so terrible.
In fact, her best companion right now to have, even if she can't think of anyone but Xander, would be Cas. Because he wasn't trying to make everything feel better through lies. she understood why people lied. She didn't understand why they lied to try and make things like this go away, or pretend it was going to.]
Why? You didn't do this. [She gestured with a heavy hand to the wound.] Unless you told them to. [She scowled at him.] You didn't, did you? cause I know people. They'll kick your ass if you did. [But the threat's effect was probably dampened somewhat by the wet hacking cough that left blood on her hand when she pulled it away. Which she pulls a face at.] ...Ugh. That's not good.
Reply
[Castiel's understanding of how the human mind works is perhaps a bit limited, especially in a situation like this. He himself has experienced death, in a way, and his thoughts at the time had certainly reflected his nature at the time; there'd been no hesitation, no worry or fear, just determination, purpose. He wouldn't have it any other way, of course- he's a soldier, after all, and he'd been content to die like one.
He wonders if he'll feel the same way when he approaches a second, more permanent death...
It doesn't really cross Castiel's mind to make Anya feel better, exactly... Maybe physically, but emotionally? Spiritually? He's aware it'd be a pretty pointless endeavor. She's dying, and there's nothing he can do, so there's no point in trying to reassure her otherwise.
He shakes his head.]
No, this wasn't my doing. But I feel regret regardless.
[Is that strange? He's still working out the whole human emotion situation... Should he not feel that way right now? He shifts as she strains to cough, blinks down at the blood speckling her hand. No, that definitely isn't good.]
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and now I may or may not ship anya/cas. THANKS YOU B| ‹3]]
[She glared dimly at him for a few more seconds, before putting her head back and the suspiscion rolls away as quickly as it had come. She was confident that if he did, Buffy, Xander, Giles, and everyone would find out and kill him anyway.] That's good. That means they won't have to kill you.
[She then... huffs. Surprisingly. It feels like she's been laying here hours, but she hasn't. not that long has passed, really, and now...] I'm bored. At least I didn't leave people bored when I killed them. Maybe I should have, it seems a lot worse than what I put them through. but that might because I'm on the dying end. [She knows if Xander was here, he'd have entertained her... or cried. Actually, he probably would have cried. He's manly like that.
With all his rippling manliness...
mmm...] Make sure Xander digs at least sme of my grave. Topless. With all his sweating manliness. If I'm going to be dead, I should at least be able to enjoy my funeral.
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