(Untitled)

[thatwasawful]

FROM HELL MEME

Here's the gist---

You're in Hell.
Yep, HELL.

1) Roll a Role
2) Role a Torture Type.

Let me take the time to mention,
TRIGGERS!  TRIGGERS!  THIS IS A MEME OF TRIGGERS!

You have been warned.

ROLES:
1) Soul.  You're a soul in Hell.  That means you're up to all and every torture.  Good luck with that.
2) Tormentor. You are a Demon, or and Upper

Comments

[onparkbenches]

[[ooc: Ahahaha yes! Awesome, that's definitely what I was thinking, late s6.]]

You'd be surprised. [He narrows his eyes. Crowley... He should have known better than to accept his proposition, his help, such as it was... It's so clear now, that this is the only way this could possibly end up. He only wishes he'd seen that when it'd mattered.] You're taking orders from Crowley now?

[Crowley's smart, knows better than to leave him in the hands of any other, more capable demons- Castiel is sure, presented with any other creature down here- he'd find his way out eventually, burn down anything in his path. Anything except Dean. His superiors had been right, what seems like lifetimes ago: he has a weakness, and it's standing in front of him right now. He can't see a way out of this, he needs more time to think...

It's hard to concentrate, though, with that face in front of him, twisted and broken and so unlike the familiar face he'd grown so fond of. Even harder to think because he knows it's his fault. He forces himself not to look away. It's painful to behold but Castiel won't allow himself to be weak.]

[righteous_bro]

I don't really takes orders from anyone. I consider suggestions from Crowley, though. He has some good ones, but you wouldn't know about that, would you? Taking suggestions from Crowley?

[Dean's face softens.]

Why are you really here, Cas? I can't protect you if I don't know what's going on.

[This is going to be too easy. Cas is already looking like a kicked puppy and he hasn't even started yet.

Dean would be offended, knowing that Cas thought he wasn't a capable torturer. Dean had once been Alistair's star pupil. Cas should know better than to think Dean can't break him. Dean hasn't failed to break strangers and he knows Cas. Cas is practically a Winchester and Winchesters have one weakness.]

[onparkbenches]

[He'd expected that, some barb about his arrangement with Crowley... Not that it makes it any easier to hear. He'd thought it best, the only option available at the time, but no matter how hard he tries to convince himself otherwise, part of him knew it would backfire and he went ahead with it anyway. Because he was better than that, better, smarter, stronger...

He frowns.]

You know why I'm here.

[Just like he knows this concern is nothing more than a trick, as much as he wants to believe otherwise.

Castiel has no doubt that Dean is more than capable, but that isn't the reason Crowley'd suggested he be the one to do the honors, here. If there's one demon here capable of breaking him, Dean would be the one, but for reasons that have nothing to do with his capabilities as a torturer.]

[righteous_bro]

[Dean kept up the innocent look.]

Crowley said you came for me, but I don't believe him. Why would you come for me after everything you did? You don't care about me. You made that pretty clear. Aren't you the reason I'm here?

[He moved into Castiel's personal space, looking right into his eyes.]

Did you go through all this for me?

[onparkbenches]

[He doesn't break eye contact, as much as he'd like to; he's never backed down before and he isn't about to start now, and especially not here. He searches Dean's face, same as always, and the hurt there... Could almost be genuine.

It's disturbing how easily that seeps into his skin, sinks right into his grace past all of the walls he's been working to maintain since being captured here.

He knows it's probably useless, but maybe If he just looks hard enough, he can find that spark of humanity, that last piece that he can carry upward again...

Maybe he can talk to him. He's silent as he considers what he ought to acknowledge.]

You're here because I let my guard down.

[It'd only been for a second- by Heaven;'s measure, of course, just a second but it'd been a second too long... He'd been too far to hear the prayers and by the time they'd gotten through it'd been too late.]

And I am here to help you, yes.

[righteous_bro]

[Dean shook his head. That was everything he needed to work with.

He turned up the puppy dog eyes. They weren't as good as Sam's. They never could be, but they weren't bad.]

I'm here because I don't matter to you, not as much as you matter to me. You lied to me.

[And there is part of Dean that doesn't think this is an act. Part of him is just hurt and accusing, because he trusted Cas. He put everything on him and he trusted him like he trusted no one other than Sam and Bobby and Cas let him down. Cas let him down in so many ways. Even as a demon, that pain was still raw in him and he needed Cas to understand how much he'd hurt Dean.]

You left Sam's soul down here.

[onparkbenches]

[Whether or not Dean's puppy dog eyes are as good as Sam's really depends on who you ask; Castiel is finding them perfectly effective, much to his distress. It's a game, just a game but he knows demons, knows how they operate and that they're capable of feeling things to a certain degree...

And he knows that anything they might feel stems from when they'd been human; that much, at least, is genuine, and the fact that Dean may have felt that way, even if only for a second, is more disheartening than he's equipped to deal with. Especially down here.]

I lied to protect you. I did everything to protect you.

[He'd betrayed Dean's trust, Sam's too but only because it'd been necessary at the time. If they'd known, they'd have tried to help, put themselves at risk... Much like they'd done anyway, in the end. Dean wouldn't be here at all if he'd just kept things hidden, kept them out of it like he'd been doing all year. There's a pang of regret when he imagines Sam, unprotected now that he's stuck here indefinitely...

And speaking of Sam... Castiel's eyes widen almost imperceptibly though he's sure Dean doesn't miss the reaction.]

That wasn't my intention.

[He still feels terrible for that, not just that he'd missed something so critical but that he'd continued to push his strange behavior out of his mind, resulting in Sam's continued torture in the cage and countless lives lost on earth at the hand of his ruthless methods without his soul.]

I meant to pull him out completely.

[righteous_bro]

[Just because Dean is here to hurt Cas doesn't make this entirely a game.

It hurts. It hurts so much to think about how betrayed he felt when he learned that Cas had been lying to him. He'd loved Cas like family and Cas had turned around and used that to his advantage in ways Dean had never expected. He'd always thought Cas was honest to a fault, but somewhere along the way, he'd gotten twisted.

And maybe Dean felt some guilt for that, too. Who had taught him how to lie? Who had told him why humans do it? He'd done that to Cas. He'd taken something good and destroyed it. That was how he knew that he could break Cas the rest of the way.]

You lied to protect yourself. You knew how angry I would be if I knew you were working with him and you lied to protect your own ass, Cas. Don't lie now and tell me it was for me. I'm dead and Sam is barely whole. You left him with Lucifer for over a year, Cas. How could you do that to him?

[onparkbenches]

[There's some truth to that, isn't there? He had known Dean would be angry, and he can't deny even to himself that that hadn't factored into his decision to keep his dealings a secret, at least in part... But his primary goal, as always, had only been to help... Hadn't it?

He closes his eyes briefly, just to have a second free of Dean's accusatory stare, and when he opens them again, his expression is hard. He isn't weak, and he isn't going to make this easy.]

What could you have done, Dean? You couldn't have stopped me even if I'd told you. I've never needed to protect myself from you.

[Which is a lie, of course; if Castiel had been smart, he'd have steeled himself against Dean from the beginning, never allowed him in in the first place... But even now he can't bring himself to wish for that. He cares too much, feels too much for Dean to want that.]

How can you ask me that? How can you even think I'd leave your brother here to suffer intentionally after everything we've been through together?

[righteous_bro]

[And that was the crux of this whole thing, wasn't it? Why did Cas care enough to protect himself from Dean's anger, but not enough to tell him the truth?

Dean shakes his head, looking genuinely hurt. His mask is slipping.]

I would have helped you find another way. You never told us how bad it was. You never told me! I thought we had each other's backs, but you didn't trust me enough to really let me have yours, did you? You never trusted me the way I trusted you.

[He looks away. This is it. He needs to lie to Cas. He needs to tell him that he thinks Cas would leave Sam in Hell on purpose for this to work and he can't make himself do that when he's looking at Cas.

His shoulders slump. He can't do it even when he's not looking at him, either. For all his anger, and the anger is real, he knows in what's left of his heart that Cas would never in a million years leave Sam's soul in Hell. He rescued Dean from Hell, came back for him a second time, and there was just no way Cas could do that.]

I don't. I don't think that you could do that.

[onparkbenches]

[He frowns and tries to block out the hurt evident on Dean's face. It's so real, and that he's the one who'd put it there isn't something he's proud of, even if he stands by his decision.]

I didn't want you involved. I thought I wouldn't be able to watch you every second, and I was right.

[The trust thing, though... That's harder to defend, because the truth of it is that he hadn't trusted Dean enough to go to him for help. Raphael is an archangel, and Dean's just a man... If Castiel had to dip into some rather unfortunate and unorthodox sources of power, what hope could Dean have had? He's certainly resourceful, but so is Castiel, and if he couldn't come up with a better plan in one day with all of his knowledge of both Heaven and Earth, how could Dean?

It's possible he hasn't always given Dean's intelligence and resourcefulness the credit it deserves, but he hadn't been willing to risk everything just to prove that he does trust him.

He's silent, and eventually Dean turns away, shoulders slumping and Castiel thinks this is probably the most miserable he's felt in a good long while... Which shouldn't be surprising; he's in Hell, after all. He's tense, waiting for Dean to turn and continue the assault with more accusations, about Sam's soul or his deal with Crowley or any other number of mistakes Castiel is aware he's made. It's not exactly a short list.

What he says next isn't what Castiel'd been expecting.]

Of course not.

[His own shoulders slump a bit, and as much as he hates it, he lowers his guard, just a bit.]

Let me help you, Dean.

[righteous_bro]

[What Castiel doesn't get, what he never seems to get is that Dean would have gladly risked himself to help if he'd been given the chance. Cas as died for him and he would have done the same in a heartbeat.

He's angry that he wound up back in Hell, yeah, but he's more angry that he wound up here because Cas lied to him, because he didn't trust Dean at all, and that hurts more than any torture he could possibly hand out.]

You were like family to me. I was already involved. And what about when you died? Do you think that was easy for me? I watched Lucifer make you explode.

[He turns to look at Cas and his eyes are black, but he just looks sad.]

It's too late. You were too late this time, Cas. There's not much left to rescue.

[Dean can't help but wonder if this is some kind of test on Crowley's part. He's probably about to fail it if it is, but he can't do this. He can't lie to Cas when he's looking at Dean like that.]

I wish you'd made it sooner.

[And he's failed. Can't even torture an angel. Too busy strolling down memory lane and letting his emotions control him. He should be better than this.]

Sorry for slow reply, had a friend here all weekend

[onparkbenches]

[It's not that he doesn't get it- how could he not, when he'd do the same thing, has done the same thing? It's just that he hadn't wanted it. The Winchesters... Everything he'd done, every ill-advised scheme with Crowley and half-cocked attempt to stop Raphael from ushering in the next apocalypse was for them, always... If their lives had been the price of saving the world, he'd just as soon let it burn.

He frowns.]

That was different.

[He doesn't know how, but it was. Dean turns, eyes black as pitch but as full of emotion as ever, and maybe he's imagining it, but Castiel thinks that maybe there's the tiniest bit of humanity left in him after all. He can work with that. He's willing to try, if Dean will let him.]

There's enough. Let me out and I'll help you, I'll take you back to your brother.

[He can't help but feel as though he's walking into a trap, but the words come out anyway, despite his better judgment. Dean always has had that effect on him... Some things haven't changed.]

No problem. I'm getting busy soon myself.

[righteous_bro]

How was it different, Cas? Because you're an angel?

[Saving the world just wasn't something that you left your friends out of. It was something that required help and who better than the people who'd saved it that first go around?]

There's not much left to help, though. Hell, I think you're more human than I am.

[He sighed.]

Can you just... just tell Sam that I'm sorry. I didn't mean to leave him. And watch out for him, okay? Watch out for each other.

[Because Dean was going to let Cas out, but there wasn't much left worth saving here. He was a demon. This was where he belonged now.]

I hope it's the good kind of busy! c: fff saddest of threads 8C

[onparkbenches]

It's different.

[He searches Dean's face for something, any sign that he's wrong, but all he sees there is grief and those pitch black eyes, and he drops his gaze drops to the bloodstained floor. He should have made it here more quickly, fought harder, planned better... But he hadn't, and this is the price. He wonders if it's possible this is his punishment for working with Crowley, for assisting in the torture of the creatures they'd rounded up from Purgatory or even for rebelling against Heaven in the first place, and it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. If that's the case, he doesn't appreciate being set up for failure. Perhaps he's wrong, perhaps he'd always been wrong about his Father's intentions for him.

He echoes Dean's sigh and looks up to face him again, jaw set and back rigid.]

Tell him yourself, I'm not leaving you here.

[He fully intends to drag him out, demon or not... He distantly wonders if transport via 'angel air' might destroy him, but it's still better than leaving him here to rot with Crowley and lose whatever is left of him.]

Yeah, just work finally picking up. LOL seasonal job. And I KNOW, RIGHT? We need to fix them! ;___;

[righteous_bro]

And if you can't fix me? If this is what I am?

[But he's already moving towards the wall to break one of the symbols on the wall, scratching at the blood with blunt fingernails until it's broken enough to not work.

He needs Cas to get out of here. He needs to save his friend, even if it kills him. Cas shouldn't be here, not like this. Dean just can't do this. Dean can't do any of this. If he can't look out for Sam and Cas himself, they can look out for each other. He's not really a person anymore, anyway.]

Go.