3. I just wanna be with you!

[ill_find_a_hole]

♥ THE RANDOM FLUFF MEME ♥

Because everyone needs some random fluff in their lives sometimes! Whether you just need cheering up or you're just having fun in company you love to be in, let the fluffy, sweet times roll!

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[headedforhope]

[There's surprise, intense but brief; it's been so long since she was held, by anyone, let alone so closely, that Mami's brain stalls in remembering how to reciprocate. Then time starts again in the space of a breath, the doubt collapsing in upon itself to make room for acceptance. This is her one chance, isn't it? As frightening and foreign as this is, it's also the stuff of Mami's dreams- if it slips through her fingers yet again...

No, no, Mami can't bear the thought. So she hugs Homura back, arms wrapped lower but just as tightly.

It's just like some of the dreams she's had, where she awoke not sweaty and trembling from fear but with an ache all the same from trying to hold emptiness. With no one to look at but her blank ceiling, the sound of silence filling her ears and mind, her bed and heart so cold. And now she's holding Homura, her mouth nestled close to the other girl's ear- Homura's scent and warmth and being are flooding all of Mami's senses. It's a delirious feeling, one like she's never known; and oh, how she hungers for more.

Not caring to think any longer, Mami gives Homura a squeeze and lifts her up- not far, just enough for her feet to clear the ground -as if to let the younger girl breathe the air of higher places. It's all right, in Mami's mind, that such a thing puts herself in second place. For the sake of someone who loves her in spite of so much ugliness and shame, who will be with her even when mud-covered anxieties choke off all reason.....for this person, she'll give everything.

Her next words are a hot and trembling whisper; she's also begun to cry, the tears no longer bottled up and bitter but speaking of a happiness mere words can't express.]

If you're by my side....I can do anything.

[repeats]

( All her life, it seems, Homura has been waiting. Waiting for someone to love, who will love her in spite of herself - first in spite of her inferiority, her unworthiness, and then in spite of the walls, the distance she's cultivated between herself and anyone who might care enough to try. Not since her wish, so naïve and so long ago, when she held blind faith that with the power of a Puella Magi she could do anything, has she felt so close to finally, finally being able to rest, to close her fingers around those high hopes and hold them close. And it's Mami who's lifted her up, allowed her to touch such precious things.

There's a certain weightlessness that comes with love, and Homura marvels to herself at how light it is to feel so full, where the emptiness of her existence had been so heavy. She had been aching for a connection, each repeated loop that pulled her farther away had weighted her down, pulled at her shoulders, her neck, until she was sure she would just sink into the ground. Forgotten. A failure.

But with one sentence, Mami takes all this burden away, and allows Homura to breathe out all her pain into the night sky.

When her feet touch ground again, she half expects it all to come rushing back, to rise in her throat and choke the life from her. But it doesn't. The guilt and the sorrow and the harsh reality of her existence have been burned away by the heat of Mami's breath, soothed away by the warmth of her to be replaced by a bright, shining belief in the absolute truth of her words.

Homura's fingers press into the cloth at Mami's back, and she nods with fervent certainty that yes, yes they can. )

Anything, we can do anything. We can... ( Here her voice breaks on a high note, cracking under the pressure of her desperation. ) We can save each other.

( Maybe she should feel that this is a betrayal to Madoka, but she doesn't. She's tried so much in these repeated months, but she's never tried love. She didn't know how. And she still doesn't, not really, but they can learn together, how to love and how to lean, how to share the gravity of the choices they've made. Maybe the fairy tales are true, and that's really all it takes for a happy ending. She has no choice but to trust in this. )

I promise.

[headedforhope]

[Mami finds herself falling in love with the tight feel of Homura's fingers, first. There's a pressing reality in them as they burn into her back, telling her more concretely than words could ever hope to that this is real. This precious hope she's finally found, can at last hold- and the embrace is being returned. She gives another squeeze, breathing in deep and slow. The old paranoia, the scabbed over scars of mistrust, well- they lurk in the corners of her mind but are denied a voice. A low murmuring in Homura's ear to show that she heard, and believes.

That promise rings in her head and lends courage to her fingers. Mami pulls back just slightly, bringing up a hand to cup Homura's face. The other girl's cheek fits easily into the curve of her palm, like a dream.]

I...

[She's overcome with the need to touch, to bury herself in another's closeness until all memory of cold distance and cutting words and careful lies are reduced to a dim and formless haze. And now her mouth works as she tries to drum up the words to match the hot, fluttery feelings swallowing her heart. Her eyes shine with the desperate effort.

What she wants to say is tangled up in the back of her throat; I love you, too.]

[repeats]

( The touch against her face, so soft and gentle, is enough to break Homura's heart in the best of ways. It is as if she's being pulled apart delicately at the seams until she spills out against the stars, then sewn back together until she resembles a person again. She presses into it, pulling strength from the warmth of the other girl's fingers, and simply sees, lets herself see without the blinders, without the tunnel vision, the singular focus on Madoka, that has carried her through each timeline.

And what Homura sees sets her heart on fire.

In Mami's eyes, Homura reads the same need she feels, to touch, to be closer than they are - closer, she thinks, than is physically possible. There is an intensity between them that almost has form, that blurs the edges of her vision like a heat haze, and Homura finds it impossible to resist.

She leans into that radiant, comforting warmth, tries to pull it in and make it a part of her, until she finds herself close, so close to Mami's face that her cheeks flush, and she nearly pulls away, embarrassed. But something, that same magnetic pull that has drawn her closer and closer over time, just makes her grip on Mami's shoulders tighten, makes her breath quicken, her pulse race.

Her eyes flick down to Mami's lips and back up again, and she doesn't know what she's doing, has thrown all her careful plans away for this moment she never expected to come, and it frightens her. In this, Homura cannot be the one to lead. ) Mami-san...

[headedforhope]

[In a way, that's completely fitting. It was never Homura who led to begin with; since all those timelines ago when this first began, that duty was Mami's. She was the teacher, the more experienced fighter, the calming hand, the wing to be taken under. That in and of itself was a constant to span each ill-fated repetition, just as Madoka's kindness was.

And now, instead of leaving her lonely or dead or broken, that ability to take the first step when others won't will give her the courage to grasp what she wants in both hands. She doesn't know just what she's doing, either- not quite. But Mami knows enough.

With a bright smile and a heart fit to burst, she leans in. Closing the last inch of physical distance between them, pressing her mouth to Homura's.]

[repeats]

( For all that she's grown, changed over time, Homura has always viewed Mami as her superior, her mentor, as someone to look up to. Even after she'd seen more and more sides of her, learned that she was more human than she let on, Homura felt an attachment to her, a desire to be close to her. She had cut herself off from Mami, from Madoka, from everyone she had cared about, in order to fulfill her promise, to make her real wish come true.

But it had failed - she had failed - again and again, and so this time, for once, Homura has allowed herself something she wants. Perhaps, she thinks, as Mami's mouth finally touches her own, it is also what she needs.

She is held utterly, completely still, overwhelmed by the sheer closeness, the heat that spreads all through her. It takes what could be minutes or hours before she squeezes at Mami's shoulders again, once, then moves to cup Mami's face in her hands. She runs her thumbs along the curve of her cheekbones, presses into Mami's lips with her own.

Time has no meaning to her now, where it had been so important before. Whether this ends in the next second, or lasts for years, it doesn't matter. All that she needs is for it to have happened. )

[headedforhope]

[Above everything else, this is warm. The heat of their mouths blooms in her chest and fills Mami with a sensation she's become a stranger to- that of being wanted, of being fulfilled. Because she can feel Homura respond, welcome the touch where before there had always only been aloof mistrust.

She's breathless when the kiss ends, and can't bear to pull away entirely; their foreheads rest against each other's, a second meeting of skin on skin.]

[repeats]

( The kiss ends, but their contact doesn't, and Homura breathes relief into the space between them. Her fingers move, tracing paths of gentle fire along the softness of Mami's skin. They cannot stay in this moment forever, Homura knows, but it is all right. She will carry the memory of it for the rest of her life, whatever happens next.

She pulls back, but does not remove her hands from Mami's face, gaze intense. A sudden welling of fear flashes across her features, before it is pushed back, banished by the feel of Mami's warmth against her hands, the pleasant buzz that lingers on her lips. She still fears, but it is a distant, hollow thing, no longer so heavy and pressing, no longer as immediate as it had been before.

She remembers what has happened in timelines before, to Mami, to the others, and she is hesitant to explain, to spill the secrets she's had to keep close. But tonight has made her brave, and so she will try. ) Mami-san... I... There's so much...

[headedforhope]

[A quiet, warm chuckle, and the pressing of one finger to Homura's lips:]

It's all right.

[A pause, the color high in her cheeks. There's an intense, piercing look in her eyes as she carves this into her mind, commits Homura's face and touch to memory. No matter what happens after this, she'll have that, and it'll bring her comfort. She won't let it hurt.]

....we have time to find our words.

[repeats]

( Homura's eyes go wide at that, and then soft, relieved. She sighs against Mami's fingertip, relieved that she seems to understand.

She, too, will keep this moment, Mami's face, in her mind, carry it with her through however many lifetimes she must live.

She drops her hands to capture Mami's own, looks away, up to the darkening sky. There is time. She will make it, if she must, out of thin air. ) Walk with me.

[headedforhope]

[She gently squeezes Homura's hand, simply reveling in the closeness.] Of course.