all the juicy details.
2010 was a fucking perfect year, in every sense. i know i will never have another quite like it.
i learned what it felt like to be a real woman; the nittiest and the grittiest, the thrilling and exhausting and all-together mind blowing things that make adulthood scary and really should be reserved for adults...only.
i discovered standing up for myself. i learned how to accept reality, look it in the eyes-- even when it bears its teeth.
then i found out: sometimes it's just a grin in disguise.
i found out i'm not fat. in fact, i'm pretty.
i learned how to keep a growing ego in check, how to eat food correctly, and just what my body is capable of, on land and at sea.
the culmination of all of my hard work was the simplest of things, really: contentment. a full stomach. a laugh. a clean dish. waking up with the sun, and drifting off with the chickens.
the best feeling in this world is that of the lips of someone you were sure could never give you a second thought, on yours.
with all the fury of a thousand suns, a year and a few months ago at that godforsaken band competition, i wanted to tear beth arnau's stupid fucking face off when she uttered the words
"AW, he's gonna HOLD YOU IN THOSE BIG STRONG ARMS, I KNOW IT!" knowing next to nothing about him OR me.
i lustily eyed her vastly inferior boyfriend, and realized if i couldn't have him, this was all a big joke. here my "competition" of sorts was mocking me without even understanding what she was saying.
and this morning, like many before, i woke up wrapped in "THOSE BIG STRONG ARMS"
oh beth.
i'm glad it worked out.
here's hoping it's for real.
2011 leaves many questions unanswered, but by god if this is all i get...it's more than i ever thought i deserved.
i learned what it felt like to be a real woman; the nittiest and the grittiest, the thrilling and exhausting and all-together mind blowing things that make adulthood scary and really should be reserved for adults...only.
i discovered standing up for myself. i learned how to accept reality, look it in the eyes-- even when it bears its teeth.
then i found out: sometimes it's just a grin in disguise.
i found out i'm not fat. in fact, i'm pretty.
i learned how to keep a growing ego in check, how to eat food correctly, and just what my body is capable of, on land and at sea.
the culmination of all of my hard work was the simplest of things, really: contentment. a full stomach. a laugh. a clean dish. waking up with the sun, and drifting off with the chickens.
the best feeling in this world is that of the lips of someone you were sure could never give you a second thought, on yours.
with all the fury of a thousand suns, a year and a few months ago at that godforsaken band competition, i wanted to tear beth arnau's stupid fucking face off when she uttered the words
"AW, he's gonna HOLD YOU IN THOSE BIG STRONG ARMS, I KNOW IT!" knowing next to nothing about him OR me.
i lustily eyed her vastly inferior boyfriend, and realized if i couldn't have him, this was all a big joke. here my "competition" of sorts was mocking me without even understanding what she was saying.
and this morning, like many before, i woke up wrapped in "THOSE BIG STRONG ARMS"
oh beth.
i'm glad it worked out.
here's hoping it's for real.
2011 leaves many questions unanswered, but by god if this is all i get...it's more than i ever thought i deserved.