aegri somnia
Aegri Somnia=Latin for "Hallucination"
I find it both amusing and ironic that this apt little phraselet shares a root with both somnium (a dream, and I've always had trouble remembering mine), and somnus (sleep, which, as a lifelong insomniac (there's that root again), I've always had a strange (and estranged) and unique relationship with). It literally translates as "a sick person's dreams."
This is even more ironic, and hilarious.
In the latter weeks of my Senior year of college, I discovered (quite unintentionally) that if one does not sleep for about 2.5 weeks, somwhere around day 3 one begins to hallucinate spontaneously. Well, kids, everything old is new again.
I have now discovered (again, in the course of a journey that is approaching the 2 week mark - and shows no sign of abating), that if the pain one is experiencing generates enough of an endorphin rush (at least I surmise this to be the cause - I'm not a doctor, and don't even play one on TV), one begins to hallucinate spontaneously.
La plus ca change, la plus meme chose, n'est pas?
It's definitely a silver lining after a fashion. I can't imagine what it would be like to be in this kind of pain *without* this kind of relief, and release, and (frankly) entertainment.
Actually, I can. I just don't want to.
Colors are brighter. Tastes are MUCH more intense. Music is a total, full-on Dionysian celebration of sonic creation.
Of course, EVERYthing is bigger, brighter. louder and, well, *more*. If I was detail oriented, hyper-sensative, and generally Fredly (I refer you to a previous post referencing said Fred, of "Once Upon A Mattress" and the Princes and the Pea) before this time, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that I've been on one helluva roller coaster ride.
I choose (whenever possible, because I'm certainly not perfect) to focus on the deeply shamanic aspects of this experience and set of circumstances. It's certanily lent singular intensity to such things as my affirmations, my mudras, my Reiki and energy-work, my uncovering and healing newly unearthed (and I mean like landmines, as opposed to potte plants) memories of past abuse, and my work on changing and or releasing negative patters and thought streams in my life. To name a few. I choose this because I can. I choose this because it makes the worst of it worthwhile. I choose this because, praise Veles, it reminds me that the most painful thorns blossom forth the most beautiful roses.
I find it both amusing and ironic that this apt little phraselet shares a root with both somnium (a dream, and I've always had trouble remembering mine), and somnus (sleep, which, as a lifelong insomniac (there's that root again), I've always had a strange (and estranged) and unique relationship with). It literally translates as "a sick person's dreams."
This is even more ironic, and hilarious.
In the latter weeks of my Senior year of college, I discovered (quite unintentionally) that if one does not sleep for about 2.5 weeks, somwhere around day 3 one begins to hallucinate spontaneously. Well, kids, everything old is new again.
I have now discovered (again, in the course of a journey that is approaching the 2 week mark - and shows no sign of abating), that if the pain one is experiencing generates enough of an endorphin rush (at least I surmise this to be the cause - I'm not a doctor, and don't even play one on TV), one begins to hallucinate spontaneously.
La plus ca change, la plus meme chose, n'est pas?
It's definitely a silver lining after a fashion. I can't imagine what it would be like to be in this kind of pain *without* this kind of relief, and release, and (frankly) entertainment.
Actually, I can. I just don't want to.
Colors are brighter. Tastes are MUCH more intense. Music is a total, full-on Dionysian celebration of sonic creation.
Of course, EVERYthing is bigger, brighter. louder and, well, *more*. If I was detail oriented, hyper-sensative, and generally Fredly (I refer you to a previous post referencing said Fred, of "Once Upon A Mattress" and the Princes and the Pea) before this time, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that I've been on one helluva roller coaster ride.
I choose (whenever possible, because I'm certainly not perfect) to focus on the deeply shamanic aspects of this experience and set of circumstances. It's certanily lent singular intensity to such things as my affirmations, my mudras, my Reiki and energy-work, my uncovering and healing newly unearthed (and I mean like landmines, as opposed to potte plants) memories of past abuse, and my work on changing and or releasing negative patters and thought streams in my life. To name a few. I choose this because I can. I choose this because it makes the worst of it worthwhile. I choose this because, praise Veles, it reminds me that the most painful thorns blossom forth the most beautiful roses.