What do Women Want?

[melyxa]

This woman wants answers.

How do you define "femininity"?  What does it mean to be "feminine"?  Is Feminine the same as Female?  Are either (or both) the same as womanly?  If you identify as female, what makes you feel feminine?

Thanks in advance for your answers (and indulgence).  More musings on this subject to follow.

Comments

[dalmatica_78]

Well to me as a woman, I feel the ultimate symbol of being feminine is the gift of bearing children. In essence to me, whilst with child I felt my most feminine, and it is sort of like having one foot in each of the worlds. Hmm..does this make sense I wonder?

[shannontabbycat]

Bearing a child may make you biologically a woman, but does that really constitute femininity, and if so, are women who can no longer or never could bear children any less feminine for the lack of a few moving parts?

I believe there is a difference between biologically being a woman and being feminine. One can at least be based on genetics/chromosomes. The other appears to be a subjective state based on personal beliefs as impacted by the general culture (whether positively or negatively).

[dalmatica_78]

I see your point, yes :) This is all a learning experience for me I suppose! I am more than happy to hear other thoughts on being feminine.

I have always felt feminine as long as I remember, I guess I am just girly, lol

[melyxa]

"I have always felt feminine..."

But what does that *mean*?

"I guess I am just girly"

So, what is "girly?"

[melyxa]

Thank you! This is the root of at least part of my question. I intrinsically know that I am female and that's never been in any measure of doubt. Feminine on the other hand...even womanly...those are the issues. 6 miscarriages...perimenopausal...is my femininity really just a matter of my function in the reproductive evolutionary saga of the species? Am I more than the sum of my biological parts? And then, how does motherhood figure into the equation? Am I a good mother? And is that what makes me feminine? The good mother question, for me, has always been quite seperate from my femininity (though both are quite tied up in my sense of self-esteem, particularly lately), just as female cycles and biology (up to and including childbearing) have always been seperate from the femininity question. Again, thank you for helping me keep this clear and giving me more to think about.

[dwerenat]

I personally try to avoid a specific definition of the term beyond the separation of the terms feminine and female. Like I've always said: male and female are defined by what's between the legs and man/woman is defined by what's between the ears, specifically on the left side.

I honestly don't know of a single definition of "feminine". It varies too much from person to person and frankly my own self-image is hardly garden variety anything. I just try to be a Natalie. If I pick up some decent ideas from others I add them to the stew.