pizza the hut
After much encouragement by my husband, I've decided to get off my ass.
wait.
scratch that.
my husband has been an ass lately. [that's more like it] he has been saying something every day EVERY DAY to me about how fat I am. I know I'm fat. I don't need people to tell me. I don't need you to constantly pinch my "rolls" or say "I never realized how big your thighs were" or just stare at my stomach saying "you really need to work on that".
I'll change when I'm damn well ready. to say the least, with all these comments I've not felt even remotely attractive lately. I've felt like shit. like pizza the hut. it gets me depressed and I'm not afraid to say it. because now I'm over that shit. I'm not depressed anymore, more embarrassed than anything. I don't want to get on a scale, because I know [generally] what it'll say. I don't need to face that. I don't want to weigh ___lbs. I want to be healthy-no matter my size.
so what did I do? well, at work there is this Alzheimers walk that the company sponsors every year. I decided to walk. I decided to start a team to walk. It's a good thing, really. I'm the first person ever in the company to start a full fledged team and we're already kicking butt. Well, after eating a few donuts I decided that if I was really going to be the captain of a team for a walk I better not be winded come the day of the walk.
I didn't think it'd be that bad. I thought it would be easy. how hard is it to walk?
then I had some marathon sex. and it was hard to keep up.
so I started walking. [this was yesterday, btw]
I planned on walking what I thought was a short distance, and started out fine. a few blocks-literally and pathetically-into it I was breathing hard. I was like "are you serious? I can't even get this far without my pulse skyrocketing?"
it was terribly pathetic. so I kept walking. I did my little distance and went home. I got on the computer and googled the distance I walked. It said 1.5 miles, but I'm taking it down to just one-gotta leave room for error.
so DAY 1- 1 mile, 20 minutes
Then today comes. I am determined, and excited to keep going. ahh, honeymoon periods. they are wonderful aren't they? you're all happy and dreaming of the accomplishments you'll make! I just hope they stick around til October when the walk is, and hopefully much longer than that.
I take to the pavement, not really bursting with energy, but thinking that may be the best time to get out there-just in time to spike my heart rate! I walk, and the only thing I do differently is I stop in the middle of the walk for literally 30 seconds to stretch, then head on out again. Today seems to go faster, easier to say the least. I'm not burning, I'm not all sweaty, I'm feeling better than yesterday. I get home and it's:
DAY 2- 1 mile, 25 minutes
how'd I gain 5 minutes? I felt good about my pace! I wanted to walk more! but I wanted to compare some times first, so I stuck to the plan to just head home. maybe I should have walked more. I mean, it couldn't have hurt.
oh well, we'll see what day 3 brings!
:::BY THE BY:::
I know it's been longer than shit since I've been on here, and it'll take just as long to really get back into the swing of being on here every day or so. If I have any LJ friends still out there, I really do miss you. It's just that my life doesn't include personal internet time every day. It's more a "use for necessities" type instrument for me. you know, for checking email once a week, or balancing the checking account, or printing out the NFL and NASCAR schedules so I don't miss my sports. either way, I miss you all, and I do apologize. hopefully we can be in contact soon.
wait.
scratch that.
my husband has been an ass lately. [that's more like it] he has been saying something every day EVERY DAY to me about how fat I am. I know I'm fat. I don't need people to tell me. I don't need you to constantly pinch my "rolls" or say "I never realized how big your thighs were" or just stare at my stomach saying "you really need to work on that".
I'll change when I'm damn well ready. to say the least, with all these comments I've not felt even remotely attractive lately. I've felt like shit. like pizza the hut. it gets me depressed and I'm not afraid to say it. because now I'm over that shit. I'm not depressed anymore, more embarrassed than anything. I don't want to get on a scale, because I know [generally] what it'll say. I don't need to face that. I don't want to weigh ___lbs. I want to be healthy-no matter my size.
so what did I do? well, at work there is this Alzheimers walk that the company sponsors every year. I decided to walk. I decided to start a team to walk. It's a good thing, really. I'm the first person ever in the company to start a full fledged team and we're already kicking butt. Well, after eating a few donuts I decided that if I was really going to be the captain of a team for a walk I better not be winded come the day of the walk.
I didn't think it'd be that bad. I thought it would be easy. how hard is it to walk?
then I had some marathon sex. and it was hard to keep up.
so I started walking. [this was yesterday, btw]
I planned on walking what I thought was a short distance, and started out fine. a few blocks-literally and pathetically-into it I was breathing hard. I was like "are you serious? I can't even get this far without my pulse skyrocketing?"
it was terribly pathetic. so I kept walking. I did my little distance and went home. I got on the computer and googled the distance I walked. It said 1.5 miles, but I'm taking it down to just one-gotta leave room for error.
so DAY 1- 1 mile, 20 minutes
Then today comes. I am determined, and excited to keep going. ahh, honeymoon periods. they are wonderful aren't they? you're all happy and dreaming of the accomplishments you'll make! I just hope they stick around til October when the walk is, and hopefully much longer than that.
I take to the pavement, not really bursting with energy, but thinking that may be the best time to get out there-just in time to spike my heart rate! I walk, and the only thing I do differently is I stop in the middle of the walk for literally 30 seconds to stretch, then head on out again. Today seems to go faster, easier to say the least. I'm not burning, I'm not all sweaty, I'm feeling better than yesterday. I get home and it's:
DAY 2- 1 mile, 25 minutes
how'd I gain 5 minutes? I felt good about my pace! I wanted to walk more! but I wanted to compare some times first, so I stuck to the plan to just head home. maybe I should have walked more. I mean, it couldn't have hurt.
oh well, we'll see what day 3 brings!
:::BY THE BY:::
I know it's been longer than shit since I've been on here, and it'll take just as long to really get back into the swing of being on here every day or so. If I have any LJ friends still out there, I really do miss you. It's just that my life doesn't include personal internet time every day. It's more a "use for necessities" type instrument for me. you know, for checking email once a week, or balancing the checking account, or printing out the NFL and NASCAR schedules so I don't miss my sports. either way, I miss you all, and I do apologize. hopefully we can be in contact soon.