Party Dialogue
Begin Scene. Four friends, two very drunk, they annoy one another in a cheap house.
Nyssa
(To Timothy)
You know Jon dances?
Timothy
(To Jonathon)
You dance?
Jonathon
(To Timothy)
Oh yes-very badly.
Nyssa
(To Everyone)
Timothy said he’d dance.
Timothy
(To everyone, but mostly to himself)
No I didn’t…
Nyssa
(To Timothy)
Come on-let’s dance!
Timothy
(To Nyssa)
No!
Jonathon
(To Timothy)
Tim-do you hate us right now?
Timothy
(Lying)
No.
A jazz record begins to play. Jonathon, Ryan and Nyssa begin to dance-or better, they begin to mosh.
Timothy
(Annoyed)
Come on guys, you’re listening to jazz. You’ve got to dance like you’re listening to jazz!
Jonathon and Ryan give Timothy a strange look and then continue to mosh. A sax-solo kicks in and suddenly Nyssa looks horrified and she shouts:
Nyssa
(Out loud)
Oh My God! I need to brush my teeth!
Nyssa runs out of the room. Ryan and Jonathon stop moshing.
Jonathon
Tim-can Ryan drink too?
Timothy
(Thinking it is a bad idea)
No.
Jonathon
(In a suggestive manner)
What if he only takes straight shots and no mixed drinks?
Timothy
(Thinking)
No…
Nyssa flies into the room. There is toothpaste all over her face.
Nyssa
(Horribly drunk)
What if he pays us ten dollars?
Timothy
(Listening to the jazz and not dancing)
No…
Ryan
(Shrugging)
Oh well-I just ate a big meal anyway…
Timothy
(Annoyed at Ryan)
Ryan-that’s one of the first rules of avoiding a hangover-eat a big meal. It was in this book I read at Barnes and Noble-or at least it was in the first page that I read…
Jonathon
(To Ryan)
See Ryan you should drink!
Timothy
(Realizing his fuckup)
Wait-what? No!!!
Nyssa
(To Ryan in an excited manner)
Ok-come on! Take a drink!
Nyssa
(To no one in particular)
You should cut me off.
Jonathon
(To Nyssa)
Yeah-we should. Maybe for like an hour-then you can start drinking again.
Nyssa
(Apparently to the wall or the ceiling)
But-but what if I don’t stay drunk? You should cut me off-but just give me SOME drinks.
Jonathon
(To Everyone)
Ok-we’ll cut her off, but she can still drink as much as she wants!
Nyssa
(Excited)
Yes!!!
Jonathon
(Laughing)
Heh, heh.
Nyssa
(To Timothy with puppy dog eyes)
Please? Can Ryan drink? Please?
Timothy
(Giving up)
Fine-whatever.
Jonathon
(Rejoicing)
Yes!
They force Ryan to take shots of Canadian whiskey. He seems ill.
Nyssa
(To Ryan with a sinful quality)
Come on! Take another shot!
Ryan
(Shaking his head)
I’m gonna drink some tea first and then-
Jonathon
(Forcefully-or suggestively-or forcedly-suggestively-or something)
Come on Ryan.
A strange, drunken and idiotic fight over making Ryan drink more straight shots of Canadian whiskey ensues. He may or may not have taken the shots.
Nyssa
(With sadness)
I’m sorry-Ryan-we read your journal.
Ryan
(Seemingly unsuprised)
Journal? What journal?
(It hits him)
OH! -that journal! The bad/cheesey journal! God-that was from a long time ago!
Nyssa
(To Ryan, with a hint of regret)
I’m sorry Ryan-we were looking for your Reaching for Zero Tape.
Jonathon
(To the fridge, or himself, or something)
No we weren’t. We were snooping.
Nyssa
(To her shoes)
There was a lot of stuff in there. Stuff you said about Timothy and I, but don’t worry-Timothy took it well.
Jonathon
(Seemingly elated)
He was talking about slitting your throat.
Ryan
(Almost non-responsive)
Oh…
Nyssa
(Happily)
And you wrote about the night that Timothy and I lost our virginity to each other.
(Nyssa begins to swoon over her memories)
Ryan (Or maybe Jonathon)
(Surprised)
Wow-Nyssa is extremely affectionate towards Tim when she’s drunk.
Timothy
(Sarcastically)
Unlike, who when I get drunk I start screaming infidelities.
(Mimicking a drum)
Ba-dum-psh.
Nyssa
(Freaking out)
Oh my God! That’s not true is it Timothy!? Timothy!? Timothy, I love you!
Timothy
(Feeling a little bad-but not totally bad)
I love you too Nyssa.
Jonathon
(To Ryan)
Hey Ryan! -take another shot!
Ryan
(Trying not to take another shot)
I’m-I’m ok. Thanks.
Nyssa
(Holding on to the edge of a cupboard for dear life)
Timothy! I LOVE YOU!!!
(She starts to fall down)
I want to take a shot!
(She falls down)
Jonathon
(To Timothy)
Jesus Tim-help Nyssa to the couch!
Timothy
(Stops typing this shit and helps Nyssa to the couch)
Come on you drunken asshole.
Nyssa
(Almost crushing a comic book)
Timothy I LOVE YOU!!!
Timothy
(Freaking out over the comic)
Yeah-yeah-just don’t crush my comics.
(Picking up the comics and then laying Nyssa on the couch)
There-just lay down there for a-
(Nyssa rolls of the couch, Jonathon and Ryan laugh at her)
Nyssa
(Jumping up)
Don’t fucking make fun of me you assholes!
Timothy
(Feeling a little sorry for his drunken girlfriend)
Nyssa, I lo-
Nyssa
(Jumping up she whacks Timothy in the face with her arm)
OWW!!! FUCK!!! What is this?-I resign to monogamy and I get punched in the mouth!? -FUCK!!!
Nyssa
(Grabbing Timothy in a loving manner, the tooth paste is presumably off of her face, but I can't be sure...I wasn't looking at her, I was scared...)
Timothy, I’m SOOO sorry!!! I’m SOOO sorry! I love you; I love you, I-I have to pee! Oh my God I have to pee!
Nyssa runs out of the restroom. Timothy falls back in his chair and finishes this dialogue. After doing so he takes a short, percussive drink of rum and coke.
End Scene.
Nyssa
(To Timothy)
You know Jon dances?
Timothy
(To Jonathon)
You dance?
Jonathon
(To Timothy)
Oh yes-very badly.
Nyssa
(To Everyone)
Timothy said he’d dance.
Timothy
(To everyone, but mostly to himself)
No I didn’t…
Nyssa
(To Timothy)
Come on-let’s dance!
Timothy
(To Nyssa)
No!
Jonathon
(To Timothy)
Tim-do you hate us right now?
Timothy
(Lying)
No.
A jazz record begins to play. Jonathon, Ryan and Nyssa begin to dance-or better, they begin to mosh.
Timothy
(Annoyed)
Come on guys, you’re listening to jazz. You’ve got to dance like you’re listening to jazz!
Jonathon and Ryan give Timothy a strange look and then continue to mosh. A sax-solo kicks in and suddenly Nyssa looks horrified and she shouts:
Nyssa
(Out loud)
Oh My God! I need to brush my teeth!
Nyssa runs out of the room. Ryan and Jonathon stop moshing.
Jonathon
Tim-can Ryan drink too?
Timothy
(Thinking it is a bad idea)
No.
Jonathon
(In a suggestive manner)
What if he only takes straight shots and no mixed drinks?
Timothy
(Thinking)
No…
Nyssa flies into the room. There is toothpaste all over her face.
Nyssa
(Horribly drunk)
What if he pays us ten dollars?
Timothy
(Listening to the jazz and not dancing)
No…
Ryan
(Shrugging)
Oh well-I just ate a big meal anyway…
Timothy
(Annoyed at Ryan)
Ryan-that’s one of the first rules of avoiding a hangover-eat a big meal. It was in this book I read at Barnes and Noble-or at least it was in the first page that I read…
Jonathon
(To Ryan)
See Ryan you should drink!
Timothy
(Realizing his fuckup)
Wait-what? No!!!
Nyssa
(To Ryan in an excited manner)
Ok-come on! Take a drink!
Nyssa
(To no one in particular)
You should cut me off.
Jonathon
(To Nyssa)
Yeah-we should. Maybe for like an hour-then you can start drinking again.
Nyssa
(Apparently to the wall or the ceiling)
But-but what if I don’t stay drunk? You should cut me off-but just give me SOME drinks.
Jonathon
(To Everyone)
Ok-we’ll cut her off, but she can still drink as much as she wants!
Nyssa
(Excited)
Yes!!!
Jonathon
(Laughing)
Heh, heh.
Nyssa
(To Timothy with puppy dog eyes)
Please? Can Ryan drink? Please?
Timothy
(Giving up)
Fine-whatever.
Jonathon
(Rejoicing)
Yes!
They force Ryan to take shots of Canadian whiskey. He seems ill.
Nyssa
(To Ryan with a sinful quality)
Come on! Take another shot!
Ryan
(Shaking his head)
I’m gonna drink some tea first and then-
Jonathon
(Forcefully-or suggestively-or forcedly-suggestively-or something)
Come on Ryan.
A strange, drunken and idiotic fight over making Ryan drink more straight shots of Canadian whiskey ensues. He may or may not have taken the shots.
Nyssa
(With sadness)
I’m sorry-Ryan-we read your journal.
Ryan
(Seemingly unsuprised)
Journal? What journal?
(It hits him)
OH! -that journal! The bad/cheesey journal! God-that was from a long time ago!
Nyssa
(To Ryan, with a hint of regret)
I’m sorry Ryan-we were looking for your Reaching for Zero Tape.
Jonathon
(To the fridge, or himself, or something)
No we weren’t. We were snooping.
Nyssa
(To her shoes)
There was a lot of stuff in there. Stuff you said about Timothy and I, but don’t worry-Timothy took it well.
Jonathon
(Seemingly elated)
He was talking about slitting your throat.
Ryan
(Almost non-responsive)
Oh…
Nyssa
(Happily)
And you wrote about the night that Timothy and I lost our virginity to each other.
(Nyssa begins to swoon over her memories)
Ryan (Or maybe Jonathon)
(Surprised)
Wow-Nyssa is extremely affectionate towards Tim when she’s drunk.
Timothy
(Sarcastically)
Unlike, who when I get drunk I start screaming infidelities.
(Mimicking a drum)
Ba-dum-psh.
Nyssa
(Freaking out)
Oh my God! That’s not true is it Timothy!? Timothy!? Timothy, I love you!
Timothy
(Feeling a little bad-but not totally bad)
I love you too Nyssa.
Jonathon
(To Ryan)
Hey Ryan! -take another shot!
Ryan
(Trying not to take another shot)
I’m-I’m ok. Thanks.
Nyssa
(Holding on to the edge of a cupboard for dear life)
Timothy! I LOVE YOU!!!
(She starts to fall down)
I want to take a shot!
(She falls down)
Jonathon
(To Timothy)
Jesus Tim-help Nyssa to the couch!
Timothy
(Stops typing this shit and helps Nyssa to the couch)
Come on you drunken asshole.
Nyssa
(Almost crushing a comic book)
Timothy I LOVE YOU!!!
Timothy
(Freaking out over the comic)
Yeah-yeah-just don’t crush my comics.
(Picking up the comics and then laying Nyssa on the couch)
There-just lay down there for a-
(Nyssa rolls of the couch, Jonathon and Ryan laugh at her)
Nyssa
(Jumping up)
Don’t fucking make fun of me you assholes!
Timothy
(Feeling a little sorry for his drunken girlfriend)
Nyssa, I lo-
Nyssa
(Jumping up she whacks Timothy in the face with her arm)
OWW!!! FUCK!!! What is this?-I resign to monogamy and I get punched in the mouth!? -FUCK!!!
Nyssa
(Grabbing Timothy in a loving manner, the tooth paste is presumably off of her face, but I can't be sure...I wasn't looking at her, I was scared...)
Timothy, I’m SOOO sorry!!! I’m SOOO sorry! I love you; I love you, I-I have to pee! Oh my God I have to pee!
Nyssa runs out of the restroom. Timothy falls back in his chair and finishes this dialogue. After doing so he takes a short, percussive drink of rum and coke.
End Scene.