(no subject)
this is weird.
im at kates,
its about the usual crash time of a little bit after 3.
everyone disperses with their lovers, and i am alone.
this bed is huge, so many people could fill it.
nevertheless, i am alone.
self exploration while being solitary isnt as impowering as i foresaw it to be.
a lot of wonerful things have been going on in the last month.
i just wish ihad someone to stand by me during them.
the battery on this computer is about to run out, so maybe i should make this quick.
the 5 beers i drank tonight have done nothing for me, that is not like me.
this past month has been sobering.
1000 memories hit me at once.
sadness doesnt make me cry.
i think its being overwhelmed by everythings that different, even though the scene hasnt changed.
to quote evita, the actress hasnt learned her lines.
everything looks the same, except suprisingly a little cleaner.
the weathers about the same, atleast i were the same clothes.
chebez is gone, and that sucks.
he/she/it would atleast keep me company.
i didnt think id feel this empty.
we all sit together and love one another.
but getting up to take a piss, only one person gets kissed on the mouth.
i think of when that was aaron and i.
i think about the anticipation of finally having him alone.
then i remember all the nights i was so sleepy i oculd hardly stay awake to kiss him goodnight.
now, with almost 24 hours of my eyes open, id stay awake for another day to just share a cigarette one more time.
im at kates,
its about the usual crash time of a little bit after 3.
everyone disperses with their lovers, and i am alone.
this bed is huge, so many people could fill it.
nevertheless, i am alone.
self exploration while being solitary isnt as impowering as i foresaw it to be.
a lot of wonerful things have been going on in the last month.
i just wish ihad someone to stand by me during them.
the battery on this computer is about to run out, so maybe i should make this quick.
the 5 beers i drank tonight have done nothing for me, that is not like me.
this past month has been sobering.
1000 memories hit me at once.
sadness doesnt make me cry.
i think its being overwhelmed by everythings that different, even though the scene hasnt changed.
to quote evita, the actress hasnt learned her lines.
everything looks the same, except suprisingly a little cleaner.
the weathers about the same, atleast i were the same clothes.
chebez is gone, and that sucks.
he/she/it would atleast keep me company.
i didnt think id feel this empty.
we all sit together and love one another.
but getting up to take a piss, only one person gets kissed on the mouth.
i think of when that was aaron and i.
i think about the anticipation of finally having him alone.
then i remember all the nights i was so sleepy i oculd hardly stay awake to kiss him goodnight.
now, with almost 24 hours of my eyes open, id stay awake for another day to just share a cigarette one more time.