Down...
Failure's reign is at the rise again, or perhaps in dominant presence already. Not am i only downing myself in regression now, but am also recognizing that i bring others with me. I am a failure to you. Yes...you. You, who reads this periodically or perhaps more often, wondering if i'll have anything interesting to say, any deviation from what ( Read more... )
depth... where to begin.
actually i dont have much to say. i wish i could reiterate everything you just said... in my own unoriginal words.
i am not your friend. we do not have a friendship. i feel we've achieved something "higher." maybe you feel like i feel right now... maybe things could get better if someone [despite your "fear"?] made the decision that they were going to tell someone about your thoughts... you know... the constant chaos racing through your head all too often, if not always.
have you ever noticed how many maybe's i use. everything is a maybe... a possibility. and you know what? i'm fed up with all of the maybe's. "maybe if you get help everything will get better"... "maybe if you took meds everthing would be alright"... "MAYBE IF YOU STUCK A FUCKING BULLET THROUGH YOUR HEAD, YOUR HEAD WOULDNT BE AS FUCKED."
oh the possibilities.
i read your "blog" because it provides me with a small sense of relief that i have yet to find somewhere else.
woah!!!!!!!! lookie here..... i have a deathwish too!!! i think i shall join you..........................................................
and remember kids:
in life...
1. there is no meaning
2. there is no sense to it all
3. nothing is of any significance
4. everything is gone
5. SUICIDE IS A LONG TERM SOLUTION TO A SHORT TERM PROBLEM... rather... SUICIDE IS A LONG TERM SOLUTION TO THE VAST AMOUNT OF PROBLEMS THAT INUNDATE OUR LIVES FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES
so what's it gonna be?
i fear that i cannot be saved... it's only a matter of time.
i cant deal with school any longer... the boredom is too much... the failure... and the disappointment.
but now i feel a total dependence on your existance at this very moment. i feel as if i'm contradicting everything that i just "wrote".
i guess it turned out that i had a lot of nothing to say after all.
good night reality... i'll see you again tomorrow.
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Suicide is a no term problem to a long term situation, i.e. life...
Better to lose a friendship than have no friends at all...
What you "wrote", as much as you'd doubt to think so, and however much of a reverberation they may be, your words are sooo satisfactorially comforting, and i'll have to say i'd live a litte longer just to hear them.
G'day...i hope to see you tomorrow.
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