Never-Ending Parade
Title: Never-ending Parade
Author: Mel (Me!)
Genre: Romance, Death
Rating: NC-15 (For sexual references (Brief) and suicidal context)
Characters: Jonne and Sir Christus
Disclaimer: This never did happen…and I would hate it if it did….
I do not own any of the characters, only the story line
Summary: After a heated night of passion, Jonne goes missing and Christus is desperate to find him.
Word Count: 1598
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I awoke in darkness, thin shafts of moonlight playing across my face through the gap in the curtains, forcing me to screw up my eyes in pain. The buzz from all the vodka had gone and in it’s place was a growing headache and a sense that something was wrong. So very wrong. I sat up, knuckling my eyes, knowing full well that I wouldn’t be getting back to sleep tonight. Like all the other nights.
My hand reached out, patting the covers beside me, the sense of wrongness elevating as each pat failed to connect me with nothing but bed sheets. No body. No lingering warmth. No Jonne. Sighing, I drew on my coat and a pair of soft trainers over my bare feet and slipped out into the night in search of my lost lover. He couldn’t have gone far. I thought to myself, keeping to the shadows just in case I was recognised. Yeah right. What sort of non drunk person would be walking the streets at 3:00 am? As I walked, flashes of last night, our night of passion flickered through my brain and I wondered once again, why he had gone, why he had fled from me. Was I worthless to him? Nothing more than a one night fling? I thought we had something. I care for him so much.
In time, I padded to a stop and sat down on a bench to rest my aching feet. Tears pricked my eyes as I thought about him. Jonne…his beautiful golden hair, his lithe, thin frame, his beautiful laugh that seemed to light up the whole world. He was my one and only, my beacon of light, my source of inspiration. I loved him more than life itself but then why? Why had he gone from me? A tear fell onto my lap as I thought about last night.
He had seemed so loving, so lost when he looked down at me with that lustful twinkle in his eyes. “Oh Jukka” he whispered breathlessly, surprising me by using my real name, “You look so down”. He adjusted his position on the bed so that his head was hanging off, regarding me critically from my spot on the floor. I looked up and sighed at him, a tear glistening in the corner of my eye “It’s nothing” I said, returning my gaze to the floor. Jonne left his spot on the bed and walked over to me, sitting down by my side. His gentle arms encircled me and I immediately buried my face in his shoulder, letting the tears pour freely down my face. He rocked me from side to side as if I was a young child, murmuring into my ear that I could tell him anything. But how? How could I tell him that I was crazy for him? That I was love sick. That I longed to feel him and his warmth.
When, at last I had stopped crying, I remember him drying my cheeks with his sleeve cuff and tilting my face towards his. He opened his mouth to say something and in that split second I decided. I snaked my head forwards and stilled his lips with mine. I saw his eyes widen with shock before he closed them and rested a hand on my cheek. When we broke apart, his eyes were shinning and his fingers were trembling ever so slightly. I smoothed my features, hoping to look calm like I did this sort of thing everyday but I couldn’t stop a smile brightening my face and a flush creeping out over my cheeks. Jonne leant forwards and brushed his hand over my cheek once again before hesitantly, locking his lips with mine again. I keeled over backwards, not quite ready for him, and ended up in a heap on the floor with him on top. Jonne raised his head and grinned at me as he stood up, bending down to wrap his arms around me. He lifted me up and carried me as if I was a maiden in distress. I certainly felt like one. I was drunk with happiness (as well as vodka!), flushed from passion and, as he lay me down on the bed, hardly able to breathe. He leapt up beside me, clumsily kissing me a few times before tugging at my top. I began to pull it off before stopping and placing a finger on his lips. “Are you sure about this?” I whispered to him, my voice hoarse and low, my breath still catching shakily in my throat. Jonne stopped and began playing with the button on my jeans. “I’m a little nervous” he admitted “I’ve never done this before”. I smiled, leaning upwards and kissing his neck. “Neither have I,” I replied, feeling his body shiver, “Jonne, I-” I began before his lips met with mine again, stealing the breath from me. “Less chat and more loving!” He responded playfully, before the night was given over to us.
I shook my head ridding myself of the memories and began to walk back to my hotel room, my steps quickening as I neared. I ran up the stairs, taking two at a time and burst through the door. Jonne was not back yet and as I sank down onto the bed, my head hit my knees and I just sat there, thinking.
After a while, I became aware of a strange creaking noise. It was sort of unearthly, eerie and, as I got up to check it out, my sense of foreboding increased tenfold. My ears took me to the bathroom and I rested my hand on the doorknob, almost unwilling to open it. “Don’t be stupid Kris,” I muttered to myself, my voice echoing slightly. “It’s not like you are going to find a ghost or ghoul behind the door” and, with a small smile upon my face, I swung the door open. Death was on the cards tonight.
They took him away within the hour. My cries had attracted someone and they had brought help. They had to take Larry away as well. He was hysterical. Screaming his name, refusing to believe he was…
But Jonne, I will never understand why he did it. I loved him with all my heart and now, my heart has gone with him. It left me the moment he left me. I buried my face in my hands, still sitting in the exact spot I found him in. Why Jonne? Why did you do it? A small dry sob escaped me, but no tears followed. In a flash, everything hit me at once. I thought about the aftermath of out love. Jonne was so happy and then he had asked that strange question;
“Kris-” He began, staring at me with his beautiful eyes of his “- I know this is going to sound weird but,” he took a deep breath “What would you do if I died?”. He blinked, fluttering his eyelashes a little. Typical Jonne. “Well, to be honest I wouldn’t really care” I had said back for a joke, turning over and attempting to fall asleep again. I never knew how deeply those words had cut him. I never had the chance to set things right.
I would have told him the truth in the morning, but he didn’t give me long enough. I sighed and got unsteadily to my feet, walking out of the bathroom. A police officer outside passed me a note, saying it was found in Jonne’s hand and was addressed to me. I nodded curtly before crossing out of the room, walking up the stairs and emerging on the hotel roof.
I opened the letter whilst standing on the praecipe of the roof, my hands shaking as a gradually strengthening wind threatened to whip the letter out of my hands;
“Dearest Christus,
You are my everything, I love you with all my heart. But I always wanted to ask you; did you ever love me?
Last night, I thought you showed me that you did love me, but I believed I was mistaken.
You are beautiful Kris, please never forget me
I am sorry.
Jonne xxx”
The first rays of dawn hit my back. I sighed as I pulled out my present to him. The present that I had never had the time to give to him. “My butterfly” I whispered, using my pet name for Jonne as I turned the small, golden clasp over in my hands. The words of Jonne’s letter turned over in my brain. ‘Did you ever love me?’. “I love you Jonne. I- I swear it”.
Christus crumpled the note in his hands, placed it into the butterfly clasp and pocketed it. A small, lingering smile played across his face and his final tear was drawn from his eye. He turned briefly, saluting the rising sun before turning back. Calmly, he swung himself forwards and fell, Falling like a butterfly, after one lived day.
“Do not forget, what we are
until the end, meant to be one.
When heaven cries and you are gone
you stole my soul,
it breaks my heart” - Neverending Parade, Negative