Bittersweet
Title: Bittersweet
Author: Melissa (Me!)
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG
Characters: Kristian/Lauri
Disclaimer: Slight suicidal context but no death…
Summary: Kristian remembers…
Word Count: 365
Author’s notes: Written in under an hour with sad thoughts in mind…I still think it’s a bit choppy….
My shortest Fan Fic...i just thought it didn't need to be longer...
Last night, I did it again.
Even as he lay next to me I had sat up and done it. The darkness of the room had wound itself around me like a silent, deadly snake and held me, feeding the depression that lay in the back of my mind. The ever present feeling of hopelessness and despair that overwhelmed me from time to time. Ever since my brother had died, the blackness had flowed through me. Smothering me. Blanketing me.
I choked back a sob as I thought about him. That trademark dashing smile of his was always with him. Even as he lay on his deathbed. I had always admired Matti’s courage. His resilience. Not even death could stop him from following me around and picking up my guitar whenever he could. I loved him and I knew, that he had always loved me.
Glancing towards the curtains, I saw the gentle light of dawn, colouring them pale red. The small gap between them was filled with a beautiful, ethereal light and I sighed softly, trying in vain to budge the hard lump that had formed in my throat. The shaft of light danced with millions of tiny dust particles, swirling around in their never ending dance. Matti always said that light was best coupled with dust. I had never understood that, until now.
I watched as the intensity of the light strengthened behind the curtains, trying to avoid looking at the dance of the dust motes. It was too painful a reminder of Matti. Swallowing shakily, I swung my legs out of bed and made a small movement, as if I was going to open the curtains. But I stopped. I didn’t want to see the damage I had caused to myself. The violent brutality. I buried my head in my hands, trying to get myself under control when I felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around me, holding me tightly. “We’ll work through this together,” Lauri said softly into my ear, pressing my back against his body. I lifted my head up and nodded slowly, a tear tracing a path down my cheek. Lauri would make things better. He always did.