(no subject)
Last night was a shitload of fun.
Dancing without a care in the world, with the people I love most in this world.
When Mrs. Lessard was talking, and we were just standing behind her on stage, I just held Brian's hand tight, and buried my head is his shoulder when I thought I might start crying. But I wouldn't let myself ruin this last hurrah.
I decided that I was in lust with Brian.
I had an itch only he could scratch, or something that sounds less weird.
Brian grabbed me just as we were leaving to go write on the wall.
So we did.
"*whisper whisper* <3 erin + brian"
I hugged him so tight and I swear to god an unspoken strong wave of emotion passed through us.
I was completely overcome by it.
I slept over Carolyn Clyon's house, and it was fun, I suppose. Margo is a pain in the ass though.
Today was strike, and it was pointless.
Me and Brian just wandered doing nothing, playing with duct tape.
Still no tears, just happiness.
I hadn't had a chance to go on facebook, until about an hour ago.
Brian's post killed me. I just died inside. Then before I had a chance to IM him, to yell at him for making me cry, he IMs me and just says "I love you kid."
Cried until my heart exploded. Tears of hapiness that this all happened, and that maybe I really was starting to get over Kevin. Tears of sadness because it all has to end, and my Brian escape has to go away for a while.
I don't know what is going on with me right now.
I think I did, in fact, fall a little bit in love with him over these past 6 weeks or so.
I think he always knows what to say to confirm my feelings.
I think I partially belong to him.
I think I'm over-emotional.
I'm not ready to go back to reality yet.
Edit.
I think what Kim said was right.
There truly isn't much of a difference between a relationship and what we've got now.
I mean, we constantly tell each how cute the other is, and how we were lost before we met each other, all sappy bf/gf or stuff. The fun stuff without a total commitment. Not like I've got my eye on anyone else, but still. I'm hanging out with Kevin on Wednesday and if anything happens, I won't feel nearly as bad if we were a legit couple.
I'm usually not a fan if gray areas, but why define this? I'm fairly happy with the way things are.
The stuff that bugs me is all jealousy, which isn't his fault.
Kim Snyder is a very wise person. Thank you my dear.
Dancing without a care in the world, with the people I love most in this world.
When Mrs. Lessard was talking, and we were just standing behind her on stage, I just held Brian's hand tight, and buried my head is his shoulder when I thought I might start crying. But I wouldn't let myself ruin this last hurrah.
I decided that I was in lust with Brian.
I had an itch only he could scratch, or something that sounds less weird.
Brian grabbed me just as we were leaving to go write on the wall.
So we did.
"*whisper whisper* <3 erin + brian"
I hugged him so tight and I swear to god an unspoken strong wave of emotion passed through us.
I was completely overcome by it.
I slept over Carolyn Clyon's house, and it was fun, I suppose. Margo is a pain in the ass though.
Today was strike, and it was pointless.
Me and Brian just wandered doing nothing, playing with duct tape.
Still no tears, just happiness.
I hadn't had a chance to go on facebook, until about an hour ago.
Brian's post killed me. I just died inside. Then before I had a chance to IM him, to yell at him for making me cry, he IMs me and just says "I love you kid."
Cried until my heart exploded. Tears of hapiness that this all happened, and that maybe I really was starting to get over Kevin. Tears of sadness because it all has to end, and my Brian escape has to go away for a while.
I don't know what is going on with me right now.
I think I did, in fact, fall a little bit in love with him over these past 6 weeks or so.
I think he always knows what to say to confirm my feelings.
I think I partially belong to him.
I think I'm over-emotional.
I'm not ready to go back to reality yet.
Edit.
I think what Kim said was right.
There truly isn't much of a difference between a relationship and what we've got now.
I mean, we constantly tell each how cute the other is, and how we were lost before we met each other, all sappy bf/gf or stuff. The fun stuff without a total commitment. Not like I've got my eye on anyone else, but still. I'm hanging out with Kevin on Wednesday and if anything happens, I won't feel nearly as bad if we were a legit couple.
I'm usually not a fan if gray areas, but why define this? I'm fairly happy with the way things are.
The stuff that bugs me is all jealousy, which isn't his fault.
Kim Snyder is a very wise person. Thank you my dear.