(no subject)
the first time i saw you, i felt nothing of any real merit. i remember observing how gorgeous you were, in a completely effortless way. i remember how engrossed you were in your game... how the fact that we were in the room seemed to annoy you. how you didn't even turn around to speak.
i remember how, at prom, you continued to outshine the other two. my experience was less than stellar, but i was genuinely surprised by your reassurances that we were going to leave soon, and that it would get better. although my happiness that night wavered, the only thing to truly intensify was my jealousy of jackie. she has a wonderful time at prom, with her wonderful date. and i didn't... enough said. it's always seemed like a crash and burn situation with me, where my own bad decisions directly impact me in ways i'd never imagine. only now it feels like i've gotten a second chance. maybe to compensate for last time, or maybe to attempt to do things right.
the first time i saw you again, in a long time... was the first time i REALLY saw you. it was dark, and you are still gorgeous. when we hugged, you lifted me off my feet, and i still feel like you haven't put me back down yet.
and i have never told you this:
the first time we kissed (outside, at the frat party)... i can't remember who started it. according to you, it was me... but i have no recollection of leaning forward. the opportunity presented itself as you stepped in front of me, and assured me that you wouldn't let anything bad happen. then... there was a pause. a very brief pause. i recall noticing how close we were standing, our faces only inches apart. and then.. we were kissing, as if drawn together like two magnets, each exerting its own pull toward the other. although the prelude is unclear, i can easily remember the feeling. not the way most people kiss when they are drunk. it was... soft, mostly. different... as if your lips had taken on a liquid consistency, and were slowly pouring themselves onto mine. i felt... something. electricity, maybe. tingles, at the base of my spine... something which i have experienced very few times in my life. and then, it happened. as i began to inhale, the breath caught in the back of my throat, and for a moment i couldn't breathe. as i began to feel lightheaded, i stepped back and we broke away, but the fact remains... you are the only boy that has ever literally taken my breath away.
i remember how, at prom, you continued to outshine the other two. my experience was less than stellar, but i was genuinely surprised by your reassurances that we were going to leave soon, and that it would get better. although my happiness that night wavered, the only thing to truly intensify was my jealousy of jackie. she has a wonderful time at prom, with her wonderful date. and i didn't... enough said. it's always seemed like a crash and burn situation with me, where my own bad decisions directly impact me in ways i'd never imagine. only now it feels like i've gotten a second chance. maybe to compensate for last time, or maybe to attempt to do things right.
the first time i saw you again, in a long time... was the first time i REALLY saw you. it was dark, and you are still gorgeous. when we hugged, you lifted me off my feet, and i still feel like you haven't put me back down yet.
and i have never told you this:
the first time we kissed (outside, at the frat party)... i can't remember who started it. according to you, it was me... but i have no recollection of leaning forward. the opportunity presented itself as you stepped in front of me, and assured me that you wouldn't let anything bad happen. then... there was a pause. a very brief pause. i recall noticing how close we were standing, our faces only inches apart. and then.. we were kissing, as if drawn together like two magnets, each exerting its own pull toward the other. although the prelude is unclear, i can easily remember the feeling. not the way most people kiss when they are drunk. it was... soft, mostly. different... as if your lips had taken on a liquid consistency, and were slowly pouring themselves onto mine. i felt... something. electricity, maybe. tingles, at the base of my spine... something which i have experienced very few times in my life. and then, it happened. as i began to inhale, the breath caught in the back of my throat, and for a moment i couldn't breathe. as i began to feel lightheaded, i stepped back and we broke away, but the fact remains... you are the only boy that has ever literally taken my breath away.