grah
I like the feeling of not having anything to do. to just forget about the pts, the upcoming eoys, to stare at the computer screen, feel the cool fan blades spinning, look at the curtains moving back and forth. there's this general feeling of detachment, as i look at the open books and stray pieces of paper scattered over my bed, illuminated by the white light, yet at the same time having shadows that represent that lingering greyness, a constant reminder of weariness.
i go through each day resigned, because i know there are a million things i haven't done. I don't know how I made it so far, but through some miracle I haven't been ticked off by anyone specifically. Maybe it's cause everyone doesn't have it done, but I can't continue this. I can't always rely on the majority not having it done and the teachers' understanding. I used to do everything by the deadline. Now I can't even do that.
I'm sick of love songs, especially love songs with lyrics that just sound...FAKE. and cliche. like pink's who knew -- seriously. the tune's nice and all, but the lyrics? I could come up with that. "if someone said three years from now you'll be gone, i'll stand up and punch him up" like, ha, ha. very unique lyrics that nobody could think of. punch him up? at least use better vocabulary.
I much prefer real honest songs like Panic! at the disco songs. "if you're gonna preach then for god's sake preach with conviction!" "because i for one can see no blood from their hearts or the wrists they allegedly slit." "am i who you think about in bed?" "I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better f*** than any boy you'll ever meet." see, at least the f word is used in its PROPER context and not dumped into every sentence to fill the space up.
and yellowcard's songs, like empty apartment, twenty three. They sound real, probably cos they're unusual situations you don't normally hear about in songs. and they're not about love, in the love sense.
not that i don't like love songs, but sometimes some of them sound really fake.
i like ashley parker angel's let you go, cos it sounds so real. "tell me why is it you only smile inside when you break me into nothing". and anberlin's paperthin hymn and never take friendship personal. "who's gonna call on sunday morning, who's gonna drive you home? i just want one more chance to put my arms in fragile hands." "but words have no meaning when it's you that says, i really do care, no baby i, i really do care!" "if you can't hold yourself together why should i hold you now?" "if you can't find yourself then how can i expect to find you?"
guess i'm just tired of love, the pining kind, the i-can't-let-you-go kind, the how-come-you're-not-with-me-anymore kind.