Excitement everywhere.
So there's a package here for me and I'm not allowed to open it until my birthday. Might I mention how excited I am that my birthday is coming up? Might I mention how sad it is that I haven't made plans yet? It's the last 'exciting' birthday I get to have. After this, I'll begin hiking up Mount Old.
I feel amazing right now. I haven't done much this summer, but I feel so good. My soul feels better than I think it ever has. Since I've had a lot of free time, I've been able to sort out a lot of the stupid things I did last year. More than ever, I'm less ashamed to be who I want, as awkward and nerdy as I may be. What's to be ashamed of? Especially since with the limited human contact I've had this summer, more people have been drawn to the awkward Aaron.
I've been working hard on the constant struggle between my heart and brain. I swear my heart has I mind of its own. While I find this great for being a musician, writer, and composer, it does NO GOOD for relationships.
Over the past several years, if there's been a female I think is an awesome person, I'll tell them so. And certainly I mean it. After all, that comes from my brain. And in pretty much all these cases (especially the most recent one), I mean exactly that and nothing more. In my heart's search for self-satisfaction, I am pushed further than I intend and I completely ignore my brain. In my head I know that there's a difference between a girl who is awesome and attractive and a girl that I should persue. My heart's selfish because it likes to be involved. Frankly, my heart's stupid. But I like it because I like being alive.
I'm taking responsibility for my actions and am realizing how stupid I am. I really hope that I can retain the relationships I originally intended on having before I ruined them.
(If any of that was vague, let me know and I'll try to clear it up.)
-I'm very excited about the semester ahead.
-I'm excited about being 21.
-I'm excited about ruling at the saxophone.
-I'm STILL excited about my didgeridoo.
-I'm excited about Sinfonia this year.
-I'm excited about how Spirit is going to pass Glassmen this weekend.
-I'm excited about Xavier Nady at first base for the Bucs.
-I'm confused that I don't care if the Pirates lose this series because I want the Braves to do well ... and I've never said that.
-I miss my friends ... not just the Jacksonville ones, but the high school friends and the fun people that made my summer the best ever like Noah, Alyse, Emi, Jen, etc.
I feel amazing right now. I haven't done much this summer, but I feel so good. My soul feels better than I think it ever has. Since I've had a lot of free time, I've been able to sort out a lot of the stupid things I did last year. More than ever, I'm less ashamed to be who I want, as awkward and nerdy as I may be. What's to be ashamed of? Especially since with the limited human contact I've had this summer, more people have been drawn to the awkward Aaron.
I've been working hard on the constant struggle between my heart and brain. I swear my heart has I mind of its own. While I find this great for being a musician, writer, and composer, it does NO GOOD for relationships.
Over the past several years, if there's been a female I think is an awesome person, I'll tell them so. And certainly I mean it. After all, that comes from my brain. And in pretty much all these cases (especially the most recent one), I mean exactly that and nothing more. In my heart's search for self-satisfaction, I am pushed further than I intend and I completely ignore my brain. In my head I know that there's a difference between a girl who is awesome and attractive and a girl that I should persue. My heart's selfish because it likes to be involved. Frankly, my heart's stupid. But I like it because I like being alive.
I'm taking responsibility for my actions and am realizing how stupid I am. I really hope that I can retain the relationships I originally intended on having before I ruined them.
(If any of that was vague, let me know and I'll try to clear it up.)
-I'm very excited about the semester ahead.
-I'm excited about being 21.
-I'm excited about ruling at the saxophone.
-I'm STILL excited about my didgeridoo.
-I'm excited about Sinfonia this year.
-I'm excited about how Spirit is going to pass Glassmen this weekend.
-I'm excited about Xavier Nady at first base for the Bucs.
-I'm confused that I don't care if the Pirates lose this series because I want the Braves to do well ... and I've never said that.
-I miss my friends ... not just the Jacksonville ones, but the high school friends and the fun people that made my summer the best ever like Noah, Alyse, Emi, Jen, etc.