I've been waking up the last couple of days from vivid, weird, realistic dreams that absolutely terrify me. I'm not sure what they're all about. I've been thinking too much about death lately. Not a day goes by that I don't think about it, but it's getting worse again. At the end of the day I just feel guilty and tired.
I'm slowly opening a store to sell my art online. I've wanted to do this for a couple of years now. I might as well just do everything that I ever wanted to do.
Most days are alright and usual, but I've been feeling drained a lot. And I have always had hope. Even when people would look me in the face and tell me that something I was working toward wasn't going to happen, it was still there. I just don't show it. I'm afraid to feel wrong, so it's always inside. It has kept me moving. Now it's just kind of there less than it was before. I'm trying to get it back. I care too much about other people and things that I cannot control and in the end I feel disregarded. I'm going to start working on myself. It honestly feels selfish to me, but no one else is going to do it. I have to. I really don't even know what I'm talking about right now. I am so fucking tired and this coffee is pissing me off and today is shit.
I'm slowly opening a store to sell my art online. I've wanted to do this for a couple of years now. I might as well just do everything that I ever wanted to do.
Most days are alright and usual, but I've been feeling drained a lot. And I have always had hope. Even when people would look me in the face and tell me that something I was working toward wasn't going to happen, it was still there. I just don't show it. I'm afraid to feel wrong, so it's always inside. It has kept me moving. Now it's just kind of there less than it was before. I'm trying to get it back. I care too much about other people and things that I cannot control and in the end I feel disregarded. I'm going to start working on myself. It honestly feels selfish to me, but no one else is going to do it. I have to. I really don't even know what I'm talking about right now. I am so fucking tired and this coffee is pissing me off and today is shit.