Moving on
When you know that the person you used to want to die for, really dislikes you and talks behind your back, it hurts like hell. Hahah. I probably don't have to even say it. For some reason, it took at least this enormous amount of pain, to finally be able to let go of him. I don't know how to describe myself..pathetic? hopeless? I really don't know. To see everyone else be able to get along with him and know that you're the only person who can't...the feeling..can't possibly be put into words. And you just don't know why you can't be friends with him..you just know there has to be a reason..but it just never shows itself. You're just constantly thinking about what went wrong. why? and it just kills you to keep thinking about it. I wish he would stop disliking me so much, but that's unreasonable. Not everyone can like you, but I just wish he wouldn't make it so obvious that he doesn't want to be around me. Is it really so neccessary as to dodge me in the halls when there is no one else but me? Am I REALLY that bad to be around? He barely knows me and he doesn't like me. And I don't even know if I'm over him, I still cling onto him like an idiot and I hate myself, yet I can't help it. I wish I never liked him in the first place. I just wanna move from this place sometimes and leave everything behind and start a new life. I wanna forget all the pain and meet new people and hopefully find happiness there. Maybe all this suffering is a sign for me..to finally just get out of here. I'll miss my friends dearly..but there could be so much more out there. I don't know..I really don't know...