Trying too hard
This is the logo I found on my Dunkin' Donuts coffee cup this morning:
("Front" of cup) Flavorology coffee blends and mystic matches
("Back" of cup) What does your coffee say about you? If you love toasted almond... You love to flirt and change your mind often. Your Mystic Match: depends on your mood.
www.flavorology.com
Oh, Dunkin' Donuts, please go back to worrying about making yummy coffee and doughnuts. Leave the ersatz women's magazine wisdom to the women's magazines and Quizilla and eMode. I do not want my coffee to tell me who I am or who I belong with.
Being skeptical yet curious, I checked out the website. The graphics are atrocious -- Mysti, your coffee guide, guides you through the flavor selection process. She wears a scarf on her hair and her skin is an ambiguous shade of cafe au lait (the better to not alienate any white *or* brown people), and she's wearing some outfit that wouldn't have been out of place on the streets of NYC this summer. There are little interactive games to play, combining coffee flavors, etc.
Dunkin' Donuts, you will keep me as a customer by sticking to what you do best, not flailing about wildly trying to be something you're not. You're not in the personality test business, and I don't want my coffee to tell me what my flavor preference (French vanilla; has been since they introduced it in 1994) says about me. Please just go back to being the straightforward, honest, blue-collar competition to Starf*cks. I don't love to change my mind often. I love being brand loyal to good coffee that doesn't fuck around and have identity crises. And I love my coffee to reflect that about my personality.
("Front" of cup) Flavorology coffee blends and mystic matches
("Back" of cup) What does your coffee say about you? If you love toasted almond... You love to flirt and change your mind often. Your Mystic Match: depends on your mood.
www.flavorology.com
Oh, Dunkin' Donuts, please go back to worrying about making yummy coffee and doughnuts. Leave the ersatz women's magazine wisdom to the women's magazines and Quizilla and eMode. I do not want my coffee to tell me who I am or who I belong with.
Being skeptical yet curious, I checked out the website. The graphics are atrocious -- Mysti, your coffee guide, guides you through the flavor selection process. She wears a scarf on her hair and her skin is an ambiguous shade of cafe au lait (the better to not alienate any white *or* brown people), and she's wearing some outfit that wouldn't have been out of place on the streets of NYC this summer. There are little interactive games to play, combining coffee flavors, etc.
Dunkin' Donuts, you will keep me as a customer by sticking to what you do best, not flailing about wildly trying to be something you're not. You're not in the personality test business, and I don't want my coffee to tell me what my flavor preference (French vanilla; has been since they introduced it in 1994) says about me. Please just go back to being the straightforward, honest, blue-collar competition to Starf*cks. I don't love to change my mind often. I love being brand loyal to good coffee that doesn't fuck around and have identity crises. And I love my coffee to reflect that about my personality.