Long time...
So it's been a really long time since I've even looked at livejournal, let alone updated on it.
I realized while looking at a friend's journal that I have something to say. I also realize that I could block that specific person that this is regarding so that they can't read this message....but at the same time it would kinda be good for her to read this since I probably wouldn't be able to talk to her about it face-to-face. I just hope that if she does read it, that there's no hard feelings.
So this friend is getting married this September and originally I was supposed to be in the wedding party. I then found out that she was making the party smaller (I don't even know if I found out why) so she's only having her sister and another friend. What's kinda been bothering me is that I don't know know why she's having the one friend in the wedding instead of me (or any of her other friends for that matter). The one that's in the wedding she's only been friends with since about a year or 2 into high school, whereas we met in elementary school. She's also the one that didn't like me very much and made this mutual friend stop talking to me for a period of time when we were in high school. I'm just not sure why she picked this person to be in her wedding above her other friends.
It doesn't help matters that in my mind, she is my best friend, but I know I'm not hers. And it wouldn't be as much of an insult if she had asked me to do something in the ceremony or to help out in any way, but she didn't. That, and she was my maid of honour. And I stood up for her to all the people that felt that she wasn't doing her "maid of honour" duties. I told them "it's just the way she is" and "I completely understand, i'm fine with it".
Even though I still feel that she's my best friend (the only one that I've been friends with for this long and that even though we've had our bad times, we're still friends), this whole situation really makes me question where I stand with her. I know people change and grow apart, but how can a friendship be so strong on one side but not so strong on the other?
And if you're reading this.......i'm sorry. I probably really shouldn't bring this up before the wedding...but I just had to get it out, and you may even be too busy to come on here and read this before the 22nd. I'm just...sorry. Sorry that maybe I wasn't the best of friends, when I felt I was. Sorry that I need to get this off my chest.
I realized while looking at a friend's journal that I have something to say. I also realize that I could block that specific person that this is regarding so that they can't read this message....but at the same time it would kinda be good for her to read this since I probably wouldn't be able to talk to her about it face-to-face. I just hope that if she does read it, that there's no hard feelings.
So this friend is getting married this September and originally I was supposed to be in the wedding party. I then found out that she was making the party smaller (I don't even know if I found out why) so she's only having her sister and another friend. What's kinda been bothering me is that I don't know know why she's having the one friend in the wedding instead of me (or any of her other friends for that matter). The one that's in the wedding she's only been friends with since about a year or 2 into high school, whereas we met in elementary school. She's also the one that didn't like me very much and made this mutual friend stop talking to me for a period of time when we were in high school. I'm just not sure why she picked this person to be in her wedding above her other friends.
It doesn't help matters that in my mind, she is my best friend, but I know I'm not hers. And it wouldn't be as much of an insult if she had asked me to do something in the ceremony or to help out in any way, but she didn't. That, and she was my maid of honour. And I stood up for her to all the people that felt that she wasn't doing her "maid of honour" duties. I told them "it's just the way she is" and "I completely understand, i'm fine with it".
Even though I still feel that she's my best friend (the only one that I've been friends with for this long and that even though we've had our bad times, we're still friends), this whole situation really makes me question where I stand with her. I know people change and grow apart, but how can a friendship be so strong on one side but not so strong on the other?
And if you're reading this.......i'm sorry. I probably really shouldn't bring this up before the wedding...but I just had to get it out, and you may even be too busy to come on here and read this before the 22nd. I'm just...sorry. Sorry that maybe I wasn't the best of friends, when I felt I was. Sorry that I need to get this off my chest.