Playwriting
Two strangers sit on a bench in the park. The girl is reading a book as a man approaches her.
1. (mumbles) I like your breasts.
2. (appalled) EXCUSE ME?!
1. I said that‘s a nice vest. (points to her clothing)
2. Oh, I must have misunderstood you.. I could have sworn you said.. (pause) heh, oh never mind.
1. (laughs) yeah…. (looks up at the sky) I love birds… there is just something about them that draws me to them.
2. Oh yeah?
1. Yeah. (mumbles) …..Kind of like a women’s cleavage.
2. (uncomfortably) Um, I’m sorry, did you just say that you were drawn to --
1. (cutting her off) Hey, what is your name anyway?
2. It’s Katherine.
1. Ahh. Katherine. That’s a nice name.
2. Thanks. I was named after my great-grandmother.
1. Oh, that’s very interesting Katherine. . . (mumbles) I like your rack.
2. HUH?!
1. I said, my name is Jack.
2. (silence) (filled with uncertainty) …Oh. (continues reading her book)
1. Whatcha reading?
2. It’s a story about two children that grow up in the wilderness…I just started it.
1. Sounds captivating. . . I’m not much of a reader though.
2. Really? I enjoy reading.. It takes me to another world.
1. Squeezing your jugs would take me to another world.
2. (closes her book) (raises her voice) That’s it! That time I really heard you referring to my chest!!!
1. (desperately looking for an excuse) No….. no I said…. I meant that--
2. They are nice aren’t they..
1. Huh?
2. My breasts… the two of them.. together like that..
1. Well, I uhh..
2. You should see ‘em when I wear a push up bra.
(awkward silence)
1. Hey, you know what, I’ve actually got to run.. I just remembered an appointment I have to get to…
2. God, they’re great.
1. Appointments?
2. No, my breasts.
1. (begins to get up) Look lady, you’re kinda--
2. (grabs his arm causing him to sit back down) I was thinking of naming them you know.
1. Naming them??
2. Yeah. Want to help me?
1. Um, sorry.. I’m fresh out of names for your uh.. uhh..
2. Hooters?
1. Uh.. umm..
2. Tits? Knockers? Melons? Oh! you know, how about maybe we--
1. Look, I’ve really got to go.. Bye lady!
2. It’s Katherine…
1. Whatever.. (exits)
2. (to self) what an odd man…oh well. (continues reading her book)
Lights fade out
1. (mumbles) I like your breasts.
2. (appalled) EXCUSE ME?!
1. I said that‘s a nice vest. (points to her clothing)
2. Oh, I must have misunderstood you.. I could have sworn you said.. (pause) heh, oh never mind.
1. (laughs) yeah…. (looks up at the sky) I love birds… there is just something about them that draws me to them.
2. Oh yeah?
1. Yeah. (mumbles) …..Kind of like a women’s cleavage.
2. (uncomfortably) Um, I’m sorry, did you just say that you were drawn to --
1. (cutting her off) Hey, what is your name anyway?
2. It’s Katherine.
1. Ahh. Katherine. That’s a nice name.
2. Thanks. I was named after my great-grandmother.
1. Oh, that’s very interesting Katherine. . . (mumbles) I like your rack.
2. HUH?!
1. I said, my name is Jack.
2. (silence) (filled with uncertainty) …Oh. (continues reading her book)
1. Whatcha reading?
2. It’s a story about two children that grow up in the wilderness…I just started it.
1. Sounds captivating. . . I’m not much of a reader though.
2. Really? I enjoy reading.. It takes me to another world.
1. Squeezing your jugs would take me to another world.
2. (closes her book) (raises her voice) That’s it! That time I really heard you referring to my chest!!!
1. (desperately looking for an excuse) No….. no I said…. I meant that--
2. They are nice aren’t they..
1. Huh?
2. My breasts… the two of them.. together like that..
1. Well, I uhh..
2. You should see ‘em when I wear a push up bra.
(awkward silence)
1. Hey, you know what, I’ve actually got to run.. I just remembered an appointment I have to get to…
2. God, they’re great.
1. Appointments?
2. No, my breasts.
1. (begins to get up) Look lady, you’re kinda--
2. (grabs his arm causing him to sit back down) I was thinking of naming them you know.
1. Naming them??
2. Yeah. Want to help me?
1. Um, sorry.. I’m fresh out of names for your uh.. uhh..
2. Hooters?
1. Uh.. umm..
2. Tits? Knockers? Melons? Oh! you know, how about maybe we--
1. Look, I’ve really got to go.. Bye lady!
2. It’s Katherine…
1. Whatever.. (exits)
2. (to self) what an odd man…oh well. (continues reading her book)
Lights fade out