another health care first for me
I have worked with so many people over the past year & a half. From sweet-as-pie to eccentric, to just plain mean... but today was the first time that one of them has made me cry.
This lady has had a hard life, and I do feel bad for her about that, but it does not excuse her outburst in our office. I walked in to administer my test (she'd been there probably 40-50 minutes, which is typical). She was comfortable and fine until I told her it would take 15 minutes and then she snapped, or had a split-personality moment, or turned into the incredible hulk...
Seriously, her rage was instantaneous. She jerked around to look at the clock and then looked me straight in the eyes & said "In 15 minutes, I walk out that door."
I thought to myself "oh great... this one's going to be fun" I've dealt with all kinds of impatient and angry people, and I have a knack for calming, but I just didn't want to deal with it today. However, no matter what I said, this lady worked herself into more and more of a frenzy. I told her we had to do blood work still, and she started yelling at me. Not even an exaggeration. Yelling about leaving, someone abusing black people, and who knows what. She was so worked up, she was stuttering and when I could understand her, she wasn't making any sense.
As calmly as I could, I told her that if she didn't stay to finish the exam, she wouldn't be able to go to surgery. She flipped out... "I DON'T CARE... I DON'T F-ING CARE"
And by that time she was so worked up that she was leaning off her seat towards me and her heart rate was 120s (I had her hooked up to my monitors already). She was so loud that one of our Medical Assistants came in to check on everything. I know I looked like a deer in headlights because Ramona (our MA) stayed in the room. She sat down next to the lady, held her hand, and quietly waited out the test.
I almost lost it during the test, but my mental prayers of "God give me strength to get through this" must of worked because, shaky voice and all, I held back long enough to get through 15 minutes of delicately balanced peace.
After that, I went straight to the bathroom and started sobbing. People never get to me like that, but today, I just wasn't emotionally strong enough to handle it. I'm stressed about school, cramping, tired, worried about some personal things going on in Ryan's world that aren't good, and I just couldn't take it. Not today. I couldn't stop crying either. ALL of that stress just came out in heaving sobs.
Eventually, some of the ladies on staff came looking for me to make sure I was okay. I got a ton of hugs, which only made me cry harder.
I was able to pull myself together after probably half an hour of crying. I looked like crap, but everyone was polite enough to act like I didn't. :)
I know every once & awhile I need a good, solid cry, but NEVER in front of people (except maybe my mom or Ryan). Having the floodgates burst at work was embarrassing.
Everyone was so supportive, though, and they understand that I'm stressed, and the girls all know that's really why I was crying. Some even shared stories about their own recent "cleansing" cries. One of the ladies even took me aside at the end of the day and said she knows how I feel because she did the same thing when she was working on getting into P.A. school. She took a post it, and wrote down "Romans 5," and told me I should read it because it really helped her out. I thought that was so thoughtful & sweet that I almost started crying AGAIN. I LOVE the people I work with every day, but whew...glad that work day is over.
This lady has had a hard life, and I do feel bad for her about that, but it does not excuse her outburst in our office. I walked in to administer my test (she'd been there probably 40-50 minutes, which is typical). She was comfortable and fine until I told her it would take 15 minutes and then she snapped, or had a split-personality moment, or turned into the incredible hulk...
Seriously, her rage was instantaneous. She jerked around to look at the clock and then looked me straight in the eyes & said "In 15 minutes, I walk out that door."
I thought to myself "oh great... this one's going to be fun" I've dealt with all kinds of impatient and angry people, and I have a knack for calming, but I just didn't want to deal with it today. However, no matter what I said, this lady worked herself into more and more of a frenzy. I told her we had to do blood work still, and she started yelling at me. Not even an exaggeration. Yelling about leaving, someone abusing black people, and who knows what. She was so worked up, she was stuttering and when I could understand her, she wasn't making any sense.
As calmly as I could, I told her that if she didn't stay to finish the exam, she wouldn't be able to go to surgery. She flipped out... "I DON'T CARE... I DON'T F-ING CARE"
And by that time she was so worked up that she was leaning off her seat towards me and her heart rate was 120s (I had her hooked up to my monitors already). She was so loud that one of our Medical Assistants came in to check on everything. I know I looked like a deer in headlights because Ramona (our MA) stayed in the room. She sat down next to the lady, held her hand, and quietly waited out the test.
I almost lost it during the test, but my mental prayers of "God give me strength to get through this" must of worked because, shaky voice and all, I held back long enough to get through 15 minutes of delicately balanced peace.
After that, I went straight to the bathroom and started sobbing. People never get to me like that, but today, I just wasn't emotionally strong enough to handle it. I'm stressed about school, cramping, tired, worried about some personal things going on in Ryan's world that aren't good, and I just couldn't take it. Not today. I couldn't stop crying either. ALL of that stress just came out in heaving sobs.
Eventually, some of the ladies on staff came looking for me to make sure I was okay. I got a ton of hugs, which only made me cry harder.
I was able to pull myself together after probably half an hour of crying. I looked like crap, but everyone was polite enough to act like I didn't. :)
I know every once & awhile I need a good, solid cry, but NEVER in front of people (except maybe my mom or Ryan). Having the floodgates burst at work was embarrassing.
Everyone was so supportive, though, and they understand that I'm stressed, and the girls all know that's really why I was crying. Some even shared stories about their own recent "cleansing" cries. One of the ladies even took me aside at the end of the day and said she knows how I feel because she did the same thing when she was working on getting into P.A. school. She took a post it, and wrote down "Romans 5," and told me I should read it because it really helped her out. I thought that was so thoughtful & sweet that I almost started crying AGAIN. I LOVE the people I work with every day, but whew...glad that work day is over.