Road Trip
So, yesterday was wholly devoted to a trip up to Sacramento and back (for Victoria: thats 6hours up and 6 hours back) as co-pilot for Joe. Very interesting 16 hours. Inspired by our group we played Random Questions for about 5 hours on the way up and I got to find out how highly he thinks of me. Apparently he sees me as wholesome as cherry pie, as fun but functional as an suv and as sweet, gentle and protective as a momma bear. I was blushing for most of that 5 hours. I got to tell him a bit of how amazing I think he is too.
I want this to go somewhere, but I'm not in a rush for it, and hearing him answer questions like what kind of pie would I be in such a descriptive uplifting way makes me think that he might too. But at dinner we got to talking about our other friends and the faults that are getting them in trouble. He asked me about his and I ended up backed into a corner. Since I like him the way I do I am trying so hard not to let myself think about how I could help him change... don't want to ruin this by turning him into a client. I've told him that I like him, but hes made it clear he doesn't want to be a boyfriend right now. When he kept pushing to find out what I thought his flaw was, I kept dancing around it. I couldn't figure out a way of saying that I won't let myself go there because I don't want to put myself in a mindset that has ruined my other relationships. I eventually told him that I need him to be the friend I don't have to fix, because I want to be the friend he doesn't have to fix.
On the way home things got a little weird though. Throughout the trip I was seeing tons of Swift trucks, which is the company my Uncle Duane drove for until he passed away. At one point, just a little ways outside of Sacramento he saw the rear end of a truck trailer on the road, just sitting there like the driver had pulled off to sleep, but when we got to where it looked like he was parked there was nothing there. That kinda tripped me out, and I just started thinking about my uncle. A few minutes later Joe asked me to describe my uncle and when I did his face went pale. Apparently he had gotten this image of two guys standing talking to each other, and I had just perfectly described one of them. Then he asked me about the guy that looked like he was an off duty military officer, about 3 inches taller than the other guy with a trucker hat on and it was my turn to go pale. That was my grandpa. What is really weirding me out is that this is the 5 year anniversary of both of their deaths. I don't know where to take this, but I miss them.
I want this to go somewhere, but I'm not in a rush for it, and hearing him answer questions like what kind of pie would I be in such a descriptive uplifting way makes me think that he might too. But at dinner we got to talking about our other friends and the faults that are getting them in trouble. He asked me about his and I ended up backed into a corner. Since I like him the way I do I am trying so hard not to let myself think about how I could help him change... don't want to ruin this by turning him into a client. I've told him that I like him, but hes made it clear he doesn't want to be a boyfriend right now. When he kept pushing to find out what I thought his flaw was, I kept dancing around it. I couldn't figure out a way of saying that I won't let myself go there because I don't want to put myself in a mindset that has ruined my other relationships. I eventually told him that I need him to be the friend I don't have to fix, because I want to be the friend he doesn't have to fix.
On the way home things got a little weird though. Throughout the trip I was seeing tons of Swift trucks, which is the company my Uncle Duane drove for until he passed away. At one point, just a little ways outside of Sacramento he saw the rear end of a truck trailer on the road, just sitting there like the driver had pulled off to sleep, but when we got to where it looked like he was parked there was nothing there. That kinda tripped me out, and I just started thinking about my uncle. A few minutes later Joe asked me to describe my uncle and when I did his face went pale. Apparently he had gotten this image of two guys standing talking to each other, and I had just perfectly described one of them. Then he asked me about the guy that looked like he was an off duty military officer, about 3 inches taller than the other guy with a trucker hat on and it was my turn to go pale. That was my grandpa. What is really weirding me out is that this is the 5 year anniversary of both of their deaths. I don't know where to take this, but I miss them.