Life is....well Life
Life and the people in mine are the most amazing yet most confusing, lost souls I have ever met. I sit here absolutly perplexed at how people think, live, and feel. My mother for example is so lost and so confused at who she is, that all she does is push me and my father away from her. I love her dearly, but it is getting harder and harder to handle. I can't take the cuts, the putdowns, the outburst of pain much longer. I only deal with it the best I can becuase I love my father and my sister so much and in my heart I know that if I axe her (my mother), out of my life then I too am axeing my father and sister out as well. I understand that my mother hasn't exactly had the easiest life, but that is no excuse to push me away and treat me the way that she does. I don't deserve the accusations, the yelling, the name calling, and the occasional smack to the face. I am a person and I feel even though she may not. She needs help, but if I ever told her that she would scream and possibly come at me. She is lost in this dream world of hers where she is the only victim and the rest of her family, mainly me and my Father she says, repress her or in her words "treat her the way Hitler treated the Jews!" She states that she only wants to run away from her family and live on her own, where she will be happy. Well Fuck, why the hell doesn't she go. Why doesn't she leave us and find her own life like she wants, rather than hurt us. Maybe after she has left she will begin to realize that her family loved her more than anyone ever has and that we did nothing to hurt her intentionally. That is was all responses to the way we were being treated. I am lost and confused and do not want to have to lose the only mother I have. For now I guess I can only take the pain the best I can and hope that my shoulders do not buckle.