Home to Mirkwood
Given the fact that Legolas is still recovering and not up to travel, I decided to make the trek back to Mirkwood to return the warriors into the King's keeping. It probably wasn't necessary for me to go, but I miss home and, well, I needed some time away to think. There has been much on my mind lately and I sorely needed space to breathe and consider it all.
Gelu led the warriors back home, using makeshift litters for those few injured too much to ride on horseback. Galen and I travelled together, spending time talking and pondering things. He, too, has been troubled by things and we used this time to discuss much between ourselves.
Now, here I sit, back in my flet, waiting to join Galen for dinner and a walk afterwards. Strange how being with Galen seems somehow easier and more natural than being with Legolas.
I love Legolas, that is certain, but we are so different. I daresay he is different since leaving the woods. His friends are wonderful and I enjoy their company so much and Legolas seems complete with them. I know he loves me, but I am not certain that it is the kind of love that lends itself to the kind of life that I desire. I wish for a home and family and Legolas seems to have no such interests. Indeed, it nearly broke my heart to hear his feelings about having children. Even though I gave in and returned, this distress is not gone away; it is mearly buried.
And what of my feelings for Galen? I have spoken of them to no one, indeed have barely admitted them to myself, but I cannot deny their existence. I have loved him for a long time, as one would love a brother, but lately, it seems more. We are of a like mind, and a like heart; our wishes and preferences fit together so well. Is it possible that after all this time, I will find that my heart resides closer to me than I thought it ever would?
And, what of his feelings for me? Does he still look upon me as a sister, a best friend? He has said nothing to indicate his feelings match mine, but there are moments - moments when I catch a look or a sigh and I wonder. He shows so much tenderness and concern towards me. I dare say, more than Legolas most of the time. Oh, I don't blame Legolas at all. I think I have to face the fact that he feels complete on his own, in fact, more happy on his own. He's always had a free spirit and it has not changed. He has the love of his friends and perhaps I should consider leaving him to that. We'll always be close, but perhaps close friends would be a better choice. *Sigh*
Hearing a voice calling, I move over and see Galen looking up at me from below. Time for dinner and later, perhaps, a long talk.
Gelu led the warriors back home, using makeshift litters for those few injured too much to ride on horseback. Galen and I travelled together, spending time talking and pondering things. He, too, has been troubled by things and we used this time to discuss much between ourselves.
Now, here I sit, back in my flet, waiting to join Galen for dinner and a walk afterwards. Strange how being with Galen seems somehow easier and more natural than being with Legolas.
I love Legolas, that is certain, but we are so different. I daresay he is different since leaving the woods. His friends are wonderful and I enjoy their company so much and Legolas seems complete with them. I know he loves me, but I am not certain that it is the kind of love that lends itself to the kind of life that I desire. I wish for a home and family and Legolas seems to have no such interests. Indeed, it nearly broke my heart to hear his feelings about having children. Even though I gave in and returned, this distress is not gone away; it is mearly buried.
And what of my feelings for Galen? I have spoken of them to no one, indeed have barely admitted them to myself, but I cannot deny their existence. I have loved him for a long time, as one would love a brother, but lately, it seems more. We are of a like mind, and a like heart; our wishes and preferences fit together so well. Is it possible that after all this time, I will find that my heart resides closer to me than I thought it ever would?
And, what of his feelings for me? Does he still look upon me as a sister, a best friend? He has said nothing to indicate his feelings match mine, but there are moments - moments when I catch a look or a sigh and I wonder. He shows so much tenderness and concern towards me. I dare say, more than Legolas most of the time. Oh, I don't blame Legolas at all. I think I have to face the fact that he feels complete on his own, in fact, more happy on his own. He's always had a free spirit and it has not changed. He has the love of his friends and perhaps I should consider leaving him to that. We'll always be close, but perhaps close friends would be a better choice. *Sigh*
Hearing a voice calling, I move over and see Galen looking up at me from below. Time for dinner and later, perhaps, a long talk.