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Sep 30, 2008 09:20

I don't care how pathetic it is--I really, really miss college. At school, I probably wouldn't have even known that the Dow Jones average had the biggest drop in history yesterday, or that the reason the bailout didn't pass was that some House members were concerned about reelection. In school, I certainly wouldn't have liked Sarah Palin, but I doubt I would have felt nauseous with nervousness at the thought of her actually being this close to the White House. In school I simply didn't have time to read articles about politics or the economy, and I was comfortably wrapped in a nice insulated Harvard bubble that allowed me to play the clarinet 4 times a week, sing twice a week, and play soccer occasionally. I could even go running on the Charles if I wanted, though I regrettably did not take advantage of that opportunity nearly enough. I was surrounded by close friends who could always make me laugh or distract me with bad tv marathons or fun conversations at 2 am in the dining hall.

Ever since I graduated, life has gotten harder and harder. I may sound whiny, but trying to find a job in a tanking economy in an overpopulated city away from what is most comfortable has been extremely taxing, and all this while trying to find some way to pay the ridiculously overpriced rent and endless piles of bills. If I didn't have Alex here I would have given up by now.

I mean, there have certainly been some high moments, and I wouldn't say that I've been consistently unhappy since moving to NYC, but the stress has taken on a form entirely new to me. I was no stranger to being stressed out in college, but I feel like I've embarked on a crash course in adulthood that has only been exacerbated by the fall of Wall Street; the rise to a five-year high of unemployment; the threat of a seriously, frighteningly unqualified vice president; and the chance of an impending actual depression. We're not joking around anymore--this could be just as bad as what we learned about in US history in high school. We may be the people that future generations learn about in their history classes. It's terrifying.

In college, I'd be showering right now, on my way to a class that I would surely fall asleep in, but one which, at some point in the shopping process, had made me feel excited just to be alive.

Did I mention that Sarah Palin terrifies me? The thought of her in office absolutely terrifies me. This isn't about partisanship anymore. This isn't sexism. This is me actually believing that I could do a better job than she would.
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