Update, Wrestlemania, Houston, Real Life, The little guy & The Hardyz
So….I figured I’d give everyone a quick update or so….
So the countdown is 35 days till my sister and I leave for Wrestlemania, and although I’m still stressed and fear something will happen that will prevent us from going, I’m trying my best to stay positive. I’ll be honest I’m Really excited…everytime I see a Wrestlemania commercial on TV, I literally get goosebumps…I’ve never seen a Wrestlemania even on TV before, so seeing it live is going to be surreal…
On the other hand, I think the trip to Houston will be worth it. My work schedule is killing me, I work two jobs, seven days a week…It’s hard…But I grit my teeth and do it, and consider myself lucky that I even have a job. I fear everyday I’m gonna get fired, but I continue to do my best, a new fire has been lit in me, I refuse to be a fuck-up anymore…Sure I may be a failure right now, but I’m not gonna let that stop me in the future…I’m planning my future people…and trust me…it’s gonna be bright…I refuse to be beat… Anyways back to Houston, I think spending the time with Dawn, will be half the fun, I don’t get to see her much since my whacked out work schedule, and we don’t get to enjoy our wrestling together like we used to…So I look forward to spending that time with her, and I know she’s excited to spend the time with me, and celebrate my birthday in style!
So we got reservations for a hotel, and a rental car…so far so good I guess…I think this trip is gonna be good for us. Plus it gets me away from work…HALLELUJAH!!! Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful that I’m employed…but over 50 hours a week, 7 days a week is hard on anybody, especially when you’re pulling double shifts 4 out of the 7 days.
I still think A LOT about Boo and Mike, I find myself thinking about them, usually at the times when I’m alone. Usually when I’m driving, I wonder what they know about my future, I wonder if they ever think of me up in heaven, I wonder if I’ll ever make them proud…I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes I talk to them…I don’t really know why I just do…I know they won’t speak and answer me, but I can always hope that at some moment the answers to my questions will come to me.
Other than that, I’m hanging in there…I haven’t been able to make myself attend a support group yet, but I’m dealing the best I can…I just have too much pride, and just can’t bring myself to go….yet…
Before I end this blog I have to share this story with you, It’s a good story, that goes to show the effect a total stranger can have on a person, by sharing a simple connection. I was working at my second job (I refuse to say where it is, simply because I’m ashamed I work there…nothing wrong with the business, I’m just embarrassed that with a college degree it’s the only job I can find to make money). A mother and her young son walked in, her son couldn’t of been no older than 4 at the most, he was adorable. He was latched onto his mother’s leg, and peering around, it was obvious the little guy was horribly shy. I watched from my spot on the opposite side of the room, as I noticed the little guy was wearing a “Hardy Boyz T-Shirt”. I smiled, as I walked towards them, as my coworker helped his mother, I knelt down in front of the little man, and smiled at him as he continued to hide behind his mother’s leg, peeking out at me. I smiled at him as I made the Matt Hardy V1 symbol with my hand. Instantly, a smile grew on the little guy’s face as he came out from behind his mother and started babbling instantly. He kept saying “Momma! Momma! She likes the Hardy Boyz too!” in his little boy way of talking. His mother watched as I smiled at the little man, as I told him “you bet I do, high five little guy”, as he quickly gave me a high five.
I listened to the little guy talk about how Jeff was his favorite, but how he liked Matt too, when his mom watched with a shocked face. Suddenly, his mom spoke “We’ve had the hardest time getting him into daycare, because he’s so shy, yet you get him to speak just like that.” I smiled at his mom, as I explained “It’s because, he recognized the symbol, he doesn’t see me as a scary stranger any more, he sees me as another Hardy Boyz Fan”. To add to the cuteness, I went in the back to help my coworkers, and the little boy grabbed my hand and I walked him to the back with me and let him help me, as he continued to tell me all about how he “didn’t like Triple H, how John Cena was so cool, how he wants to be Jeff for Halloween etc. etc. etc.” I couldn’t believe it, but it’s true, you never know who will connect with you in a way, you never thought possible.