two things and some homework
This has nothing to do directly with my recent dumping. Im just mad.
#1
To all people who are "just not ready to commit"
Why is it that single guys freak the fuck out over the holidays. by single - i mean not married. Every year about this time, I and my friends go thru a rash of "terrible times" with our significant others that end in huge fights and or break ups. I, just recently dumped, have noticed a trend and would like to discuss it with you all more.
* Charlie- can you offer some insight? As you are the only male who has ever remained remotely consistant in my life, i look to you for guidence. I also want to hear from Kate, Cristin, Jenna, Veronika, Dawn Marie, Nick, Tracy, Shane, Becca, Rebekah, Thomas, Ted,{if you read it}and Eric. - and any other of you who are on my friends list who i am pretty sure dont read my journal feel free to comment too.
Seriously, people WHAT THE FUCK? All the holidays are - are days you get off from work and you get to spend time with family and friends. OOOO FAMILY--- MEETING FAMILY- OOOOOO_--- FUCK THAT SHIT. With the departure of the Nuclear Family of the 19fucking60s - one would think all the social shit surrounding "meeting the family" would disappear too. OH NO. That's still there! WHO GIVES A GODDAMNED RATS ASS about meeting family. It doesnt mean anything. OR at least it doesnt HAVE TO. Meeting anyone's family should be a CELEBRATION however awkward it is. Maybe people just hate their families so much that they are sure they will hate another one too and selfishly dont want to meet anyone they are sure they wont like. Oh! maybe, just maybe we have managed to fucking isolate ourselves so much that we no longer think of anything or anyone BUT ourselves. I dont want to think about myself. I spend 24hours a day 7 days a week ALL MY LIFE with myself. I am DONE trying to figure things out with myself. And you wanna knwo why? BECAUSE YOU CANT. YOU CANT ever FIGURE YOURSELF OUT. i am tired of isolation - I want community. I want my natural and selected family to be around me and be a part of my life as well as my lover's. AND I want my lover to understand that you are never "ready" for a realationship. EVER. That's like being "READY" to have a baby. You are just NOT. BUT THATS FUCKING OK. its the way things are. You should be thankful that you have another human being who is willing to walk around with you for a little while and hang out. And if you LIKE each other, then you should fucking be glad you found someone you like and DONT take that person for granted.
#2 Ted's post the other day prompted me to think about death. I think about it a lot actually. How I dont want to die, mostly. I read a eulogy for a woman who worked for McSweeney's yesterday... I started writing eulogies for all of you. And I want you to write mine. You dont have to write a book. I just want to know what you would say at my funeral if I died tomorrow. Comment please, and if you would like - I will write yours for you.
thasit.
#1
To all people who are "just not ready to commit"
Why is it that single guys freak the fuck out over the holidays. by single - i mean not married. Every year about this time, I and my friends go thru a rash of "terrible times" with our significant others that end in huge fights and or break ups. I, just recently dumped, have noticed a trend and would like to discuss it with you all more.
* Charlie- can you offer some insight? As you are the only male who has ever remained remotely consistant in my life, i look to you for guidence. I also want to hear from Kate, Cristin, Jenna, Veronika, Dawn Marie, Nick, Tracy, Shane, Becca, Rebekah, Thomas, Ted,{if you read it}and Eric. - and any other of you who are on my friends list who i am pretty sure dont read my journal feel free to comment too.
Seriously, people WHAT THE FUCK? All the holidays are - are days you get off from work and you get to spend time with family and friends. OOOO FAMILY--- MEETING FAMILY- OOOOOO_--- FUCK THAT SHIT. With the departure of the Nuclear Family of the 19fucking60s - one would think all the social shit surrounding "meeting the family" would disappear too. OH NO. That's still there! WHO GIVES A GODDAMNED RATS ASS about meeting family. It doesnt mean anything. OR at least it doesnt HAVE TO. Meeting anyone's family should be a CELEBRATION however awkward it is. Maybe people just hate their families so much that they are sure they will hate another one too and selfishly dont want to meet anyone they are sure they wont like. Oh! maybe, just maybe we have managed to fucking isolate ourselves so much that we no longer think of anything or anyone BUT ourselves. I dont want to think about myself. I spend 24hours a day 7 days a week ALL MY LIFE with myself. I am DONE trying to figure things out with myself. And you wanna knwo why? BECAUSE YOU CANT. YOU CANT ever FIGURE YOURSELF OUT. i am tired of isolation - I want community. I want my natural and selected family to be around me and be a part of my life as well as my lover's. AND I want my lover to understand that you are never "ready" for a realationship. EVER. That's like being "READY" to have a baby. You are just NOT. BUT THATS FUCKING OK. its the way things are. You should be thankful that you have another human being who is willing to walk around with you for a little while and hang out. And if you LIKE each other, then you should fucking be glad you found someone you like and DONT take that person for granted.
#2 Ted's post the other day prompted me to think about death. I think about it a lot actually. How I dont want to die, mostly. I read a eulogy for a woman who worked for McSweeney's yesterday... I started writing eulogies for all of you. And I want you to write mine. You dont have to write a book. I just want to know what you would say at my funeral if I died tomorrow. Comment please, and if you would like - I will write yours for you.
thasit.