Man, so much to say, where to start?
So, okay, roller-coaster has been consciously shelved and things are going well there. When problems arise, I'm using and learning new meditation techniques to manage them. I'm getting better at it. I'm able to create an inhospitable environment so that emotional downturns can't really take root, though I still weather a little bit of their effects. I know how to recharge. I just have to make myself do it regularly and catch the invasions when they're happening, before they take hold. It's like when you feel yourself starting to get sick, so you double up on your vitamins and water intake and get some extra rest to keep from getting full blown sick. But you have to respect that your immune system still takes a blow and keep it up. I could see depression as being kind of an emotional immune deficiency. I've made a commitment to myself to stay emotionally healthy.
Which leads me to wanting another tattoo. Which reminds me that I never posted about my last one. I just went back and checked. I posted it to Twitter/Facebook, but not here, I guess. It's kind of funny now how it's changed from what I thought it was about. It says mahtar, which is the Quenya word for warrior, which is funny because I chose a Sindarin Tengwar mode to write it in. This is not something I realized at the time, but I think it's oddly fitting and I intend to carry the theme of that with healer (or renewer, which is the closest I could find, which it turns out is one of Aragorn's nicknames, Envinyatar) on the left wrist to match. This one is on the right wrist. I had it done with a Groupon, which still amuses me.
The artist used to go to a lot of convensions and do ink for people. She's a big comic book and anime geek, but is stuck doing a lot of cover ups for hood tattoos. She was excited to do something geeky and I was her first Tolkien tattoo. I'd go back to her for the second one. She did a good job.
So as I was saying, it's come to mean many things for me. For one, it makes me keep fighting when I'm having trouble finding my will. For another it reminds me that everyone is fighting their own battles and to meet others with compassion. And depending on the day, it has any number of other meanings, which I guess is the mark of a good tattoo. What I think healer will mean will be my capacity to help others by sharing my experiences (the memoir) and also it will be a beacon to draw people to me that will help me to heal and not cause more hurts. And probably a hundred other things I'll think of as they become relevant.
They're addictive you guys.
So there's lots of other new stuff going on with gardening on a communal level and jewelry and writing and art and I'm slowly trickling my way into the artistic community in Nashville which is something I didn't even realize I was thirsty for until I started peering into the windows of that party. It's spring you guys! I know it was sleeting yesterday, but it's freaking spring!
Which leads me to wanting another tattoo. Which reminds me that I never posted about my last one. I just went back and checked. I posted it to Twitter/Facebook, but not here, I guess. It's kind of funny now how it's changed from what I thought it was about. It says mahtar, which is the Quenya word for warrior, which is funny because I chose a Sindarin Tengwar mode to write it in. This is not something I realized at the time, but I think it's oddly fitting and I intend to carry the theme of that with healer (or renewer, which is the closest I could find, which it turns out is one of Aragorn's nicknames, Envinyatar) on the left wrist to match. This one is on the right wrist. I had it done with a Groupon, which still amuses me.
The artist used to go to a lot of convensions and do ink for people. She's a big comic book and anime geek, but is stuck doing a lot of cover ups for hood tattoos. She was excited to do something geeky and I was her first Tolkien tattoo. I'd go back to her for the second one. She did a good job.
So as I was saying, it's come to mean many things for me. For one, it makes me keep fighting when I'm having trouble finding my will. For another it reminds me that everyone is fighting their own battles and to meet others with compassion. And depending on the day, it has any number of other meanings, which I guess is the mark of a good tattoo. What I think healer will mean will be my capacity to help others by sharing my experiences (the memoir) and also it will be a beacon to draw people to me that will help me to heal and not cause more hurts. And probably a hundred other things I'll think of as they become relevant.
They're addictive you guys.
So there's lots of other new stuff going on with gardening on a communal level and jewelry and writing and art and I'm slowly trickling my way into the artistic community in Nashville which is something I didn't even realize I was thirsty for until I started peering into the windows of that party. It's spring you guys! I know it was sleeting yesterday, but it's freaking spring!