Haven't done a Jonah post in a while...
And he's been pretty nuts lately, as far as the ridiculous stuff that comes out of his mouth. He's starting to fully understand swear words. In that he can hear something with them in it and know not to repeat those words. He knows that it's okay to hear them but not say them. I hope this doesn't backfire, but it's unavoidable when a) your father is Chris and your mother is me and b) you take your kid to stuff like Ben Folds Five shows. The other day, I caught him singing along to Rock This Bitch For Freedom and had to tell him not to sing that word because it was a curse word. A moment later, he doubled over in laughter because he suddenly got why the song was funny. I have to admit, that was a pretty great moment in parenting, right there.
As for other hilariously ridiculous stuff he's said lately that are too long for tweets, he went to an all kids Halloween party on Saturday evening. There was a group of three boys and four girls. When I left, they were all split off, girls in one room, boys in another. Which is what always happens. But inevitably, the boys are going to plot together and go mess with the girls and the girls are going to get pissed and there's going to be a mild altercation and they'll have to be told to leave each other alone again. So, when I picked him up, Scarlet told me about this inevitable altercation, but she's had enough of these sorts of parties to know that's par for the course so she didn't think anything of it. I talked to Jonah about it a little bit while we were getting ready for bed and he admitted to "messing with the girls." I told him to not mess with girls. That if he's not going to be nice to a girl, he should just leave her alone. That they really hate that kind of stuff. He said, "what if they're hot?!" I said, "especially if they're hot!" Stifling laughter. Then, I seriously said, "Jonah, if you like a girl and you think she's pretty, be nice to her. If you mess with her, she's not going to like you." So, maybe he got a lesson out of it and maybe I can raise a more evolved breed of human male who doesn't have to suffer through that "pull her hair 'cause she's cute" phase... who am I kidding? That's exactly the road we're headed down. *sigh*
Saving the best until last, Jonah was tasked with a homeworkfun assignment last week to write a very short story with the prompt "The spookiest thing" and they had to dictate it to an adult and illustrate it themselves for it to go in a class book. Since he's all about zombies lately, he of course wrote a zombie story. I took it down in notes on my phone one day so that I could transcribe it later. This is all straight from his mouth. The only place I edited him was where he got way into detail about the setting. We only had like six lines to fill with text and we were describing a dead deer found in the woods that was kind of like the tree on Dagoba that was strong with the Dark Side of the Force, in that it was kind of confusing and didn't really move the story forward at all. But otherwise untouched, here's his story:
Once upon a time, there was a little house on a cul-de-sac with other big and little houses. One day they went to the graveyard and decided to raise the dead. So they made a potion and suddenly, when they poured it on the grave, an army of zombies and vampires rose up and started attacking. They tried to fight but they couldn't. Suddenly, they saw a light and it was a man with lasers and bombs and he blew up all the zombies and vampires and defeated them. The end.
And of course I really, really want to illustrate it.
As for other hilariously ridiculous stuff he's said lately that are too long for tweets, he went to an all kids Halloween party on Saturday evening. There was a group of three boys and four girls. When I left, they were all split off, girls in one room, boys in another. Which is what always happens. But inevitably, the boys are going to plot together and go mess with the girls and the girls are going to get pissed and there's going to be a mild altercation and they'll have to be told to leave each other alone again. So, when I picked him up, Scarlet told me about this inevitable altercation, but she's had enough of these sorts of parties to know that's par for the course so she didn't think anything of it. I talked to Jonah about it a little bit while we were getting ready for bed and he admitted to "messing with the girls." I told him to not mess with girls. That if he's not going to be nice to a girl, he should just leave her alone. That they really hate that kind of stuff. He said, "what if they're hot?!" I said, "especially if they're hot!" Stifling laughter. Then, I seriously said, "Jonah, if you like a girl and you think she's pretty, be nice to her. If you mess with her, she's not going to like you." So, maybe he got a lesson out of it and maybe I can raise a more evolved breed of human male who doesn't have to suffer through that "pull her hair 'cause she's cute" phase... who am I kidding? That's exactly the road we're headed down. *sigh*
Saving the best until last, Jonah was tasked with a homeworkfun assignment last week to write a very short story with the prompt "The spookiest thing" and they had to dictate it to an adult and illustrate it themselves for it to go in a class book. Since he's all about zombies lately, he of course wrote a zombie story. I took it down in notes on my phone one day so that I could transcribe it later. This is all straight from his mouth. The only place I edited him was where he got way into detail about the setting. We only had like six lines to fill with text and we were describing a dead deer found in the woods that was kind of like the tree on Dagoba that was strong with the Dark Side of the Force, in that it was kind of confusing and didn't really move the story forward at all. But otherwise untouched, here's his story:
Once upon a time, there was a little house on a cul-de-sac with other big and little houses. One day they went to the graveyard and decided to raise the dead. So they made a potion and suddenly, when they poured it on the grave, an army of zombies and vampires rose up and started attacking. They tried to fight but they couldn't. Suddenly, they saw a light and it was a man with lasers and bombs and he blew up all the zombies and vampires and defeated them. The end.
And of course I really, really want to illustrate it.