(no subject)
After watching one of those "you're wearing all the wrong clothes" shows where the woman in question was wearing clothes too tight for her, I couldn't help but wonder, "How did I get on this show?" Now I do like to wear clothes that are busty and to get this, often I have to sacrifice other proprieties. Basically i live my life like I only own a mirror that shows the middle of my stomach and up. Which is true. It's actually been awhile since I've seen what i look like from top to bottom-which I'm usually ok with.
So what they made this girl do, was shop at a store for bigger girls. It hurt her feelings and blah blah blah, but she found some really cute things. Meanwhile, little ole me sitting on the couch eating a mexican quiche was like, "What?! They have stores for us?" I have not bought clothes, especially pants that fit me well and I've liked in 2 years. At least.
The other day I sat across from Emily eating a dinner of pork (Emily's just recently an ex-vegetarian) I told her about the fact that there are stores for people like me. And she thoughtfully said, "you know? I think i've heard of them." We only had one name in mind: Lane Bryant. I told her I was going to go there. Hopefully I would fit right in, but if not, then it would be a relief to have clothes too big. So today we both cut class and after watching the godfather we went to the mall. Even though neither of us really like malls we both happy to be somewhere that reminded us of the midwest. We got whipped cream on our coffee and ate food court food. Over a handful of onion rings emily said, "Whenever we miss the midwest we need to come here."
After getting lost in JC Penny's for what seemed like an unreasonable amount of time, we found our way into the mall and to Lane Bryant. First thing I tried on was the smallest size shirt and it was too big! in the bust! If you know me at all you know i have huge knockers, so this is sort of a surprise. A really really pleasant surprise. Emily was my plucky sidekick. She even found something teal that I love.
I don't know if you've ever been in a Lane Bryant before, but they have 3 different fits of their jeans. Yellow, Red, and Blue. On a huge sign over the jeans is a description of what might be happening to you in your jeans "jeans fit in the thighs but gap in the back?" or "jeans fit on your thighs but you have to unbutton the waist? Or they fit the waist but not the thighs?" I was this one, which is a yellow. As I was looking at the sizes in the yellow area, I realized the sizes only go up to 8. I was like, "SO even in the fat girl store I can't get a pair of jeans?" I was about to sit down and cry when the sales person came over and explained that the numbers started at a 14. I looked over at Emily and we both wiped a tear from our eyes.
So Emily and I began an exodus of clothing into the dressing room. I tried so many things on. Several shirts were too big (too big!!) but let me tell you. The jeans fit. They fit good. Emily told me to turn around so she could look at my butt and when i turned back around she was nodding in her, "Damn girl!" nod. It's not to be confused with the "Melissa! How cute!" tilt of the head. At one point I turned the reigns over to her with the instructions of "think color" and just tried clothes on left and right. If you've ever been shopping with me...this is not how I usually roll. I usually pick out about 10 things and if something worked out great, if not well, there's always next time. Never do I look someone in the eye and say, "bring everything in my size."
One of the sales reps hovered outside and everytime I came out she would explain, "OH! Now there you go! I like that one!" Sometimes it would be a fit that was really unflattering and she would still exclaim, "Now I really like the way that one fits on you!" Emily and I would wait until she was finished and then look at each other and either give the nod or the scrunched nose shake of the head.
I decided on two pairs of jeans (as I didn't actually own ANY pants jeans or otherwise), 3 tops, and a plum little jacket-the kind that just has a couple buttons at the top and sort of bells out. As she was ringing me up I looked over at Emily and gave her the "I might be spending too much" look and she frowned at me very seriously and mouthed, "YOU DESERVE THIS!" Which was so touching that she and I both almost cried. But instead we giggled a little too loudly and high pitched. When we were done, the sales woman touched my hand and said, "It was great working with you today." That, too, would have been really touching but I had just heard her say that to the woman before me.
But I highly recommend the store. Even if it's clothes that won't fit on you, it's such a positive atmosphere. I plan on going once a month just to breath in the magic. I'll close my eyes and feel all the woman who have felt terrible about there bodies and have hated going to stores where the biggest article of clothing still rolls up to her chin like the fat little mouse's shirt in Cinderella. All the woman who have settled for clothing too small for her with the promise of "Well when i lose a couple pounds this will fit perfectly" and then it sits expensively in her drawer whispering what a loser she is. And with my eyes closed I'll hear in the distance their happy rejoicing at finding clothes that fit them, and fit them well. And then I'll raise my hand in victory and the closing credits will start with Eliza Minelli singing, "For the First Time" with cute baby photos of me slowly flashing by.
Yesterday it was clothes and today it's going to be a hair cut. Mama's getting a whole new look. (I told Shaughn that if I ever have kids they are calling me "mama" and he looked at me and frowned, "But what am I going to call you then?") I even got green contacts. They are a little more olive-y then i was hoping but they are pretty fun anyhow. It's so fun getting to spruce up my outsides. Inside it's been a tough winter. My best friend and I broke up, I had to move out of my house-two very grounding things in my life that just caved in under me. But I have a beautiful new house, a roommate and friend who cried with me at finding jeans that fit, and another roommate who's biggest complaint is that she doesn't get to see me enough. I have to say, even though the leaves are falling outside, inside the spring is blooming.