Too much input
I just got back from another "road trip". I left last Monday for Montana, which was a good experience. I got to see my mom, my dog, meet new people and make new friends. Then, on Thursday I left for a 15+ hour drive down to Mesquite, NV (75 miles north of Vegas). I had a nasty migraine when I went to bed, and woke up the next day with a residual headache. I drove to Big Bear for our performance, and had a good time there. Basically I had issues sleeping, starting with Thursday night and extending through until last night (I'll do the math for you - 4 nights in a row).
It was extremely hot at Big Bear, and my eating pretty much slowed to a trickle. I thought I'd lose a bunch of weight as a result - but, no. Bummer. It was just too hot to eat, so I didn't. As a result of the heat, I've decided to go ahead and make new costuming - Turkish. Hell, those Turks lived in the heat, therefore their clothing must be adaptable and comfortable in it, right? Thus is my logic, such as it is. I can pop out an outfit in the next couple of days, but Mikal has other things in store...
I now have to get a bunch of items up for sale on eBay in order to facilitate income as well as have less stuff for us to pack in 3 weeks when we have to move out. It's the end of our lease, and we DO NOT want to re-sign the damn thing. So, I had an easy day yesterday, but today I'm in full-speed ahead! I've made a new vest so far, as well as dig out a bunch of extra stuff for accessories and such. At the same time I've set up my eBay and PayPal account, cleaned out the Exploder and gotten us lunch. Halfway through lunch, it hit me:
I'm having some major issues readjusting to life back here. Mikal's dad and Scotty are still here with us. Pop has been drinking again, more than ever, I guess, and he's been in some pretty rotten moods. I've overheard him complaining and bitching about things, and I am on super-high-alert at the moment, trying to "keep the peace", I guess. I feel like a stranger in my own house, and I don't like the way it feels here.
I think I've inadvertently made the situation even worse. I broke down in the middle of lunch crying - and admitted to Mikal that I'm just having such a hard time adjusting. Pop has been just plain old miserable to be around, although he's been super-sweet to me one-on-one. He has been bitching and complaining about everything, and it seems that everything out of his mouth has been tinted with sarcasm and malice. EXCEPT when he's been talking to me.
I love this man like a father, and would never want to hurt his feelings or upset him. Mikal said something to Scotty, Pop's business partner who is also living here, and I guess someone said something to Pop about me "wanting him out". So, he's gone for a walk right now, and I feel even MORE miserable than before. I can't stop crying, and just can't maintain that inner peace I've been striving so hard to keep. Hell, it was a lofty goal anyway...
I just don't know what to do. I think I should talk to Pop myself and let him know that it's not that I don't want him here because of any personal slight against him - I just want our life back (mine and Mikal's). We've been in close-quarters with Pop and Scotty since June 12, and with only 2 bedrooms it really has been taking its toll - on everyone.
So, this blog has been one big rant. I have so much to do that I've finally gotten into a state of non-motion. Mikal suggested I take a nap, so maybe that's what I'll do.
Until next time -
Mel
It was extremely hot at Big Bear, and my eating pretty much slowed to a trickle. I thought I'd lose a bunch of weight as a result - but, no. Bummer. It was just too hot to eat, so I didn't. As a result of the heat, I've decided to go ahead and make new costuming - Turkish. Hell, those Turks lived in the heat, therefore their clothing must be adaptable and comfortable in it, right? Thus is my logic, such as it is. I can pop out an outfit in the next couple of days, but Mikal has other things in store...
I now have to get a bunch of items up for sale on eBay in order to facilitate income as well as have less stuff for us to pack in 3 weeks when we have to move out. It's the end of our lease, and we DO NOT want to re-sign the damn thing. So, I had an easy day yesterday, but today I'm in full-speed ahead! I've made a new vest so far, as well as dig out a bunch of extra stuff for accessories and such. At the same time I've set up my eBay and PayPal account, cleaned out the Exploder and gotten us lunch. Halfway through lunch, it hit me:
I'm having some major issues readjusting to life back here. Mikal's dad and Scotty are still here with us. Pop has been drinking again, more than ever, I guess, and he's been in some pretty rotten moods. I've overheard him complaining and bitching about things, and I am on super-high-alert at the moment, trying to "keep the peace", I guess. I feel like a stranger in my own house, and I don't like the way it feels here.
I think I've inadvertently made the situation even worse. I broke down in the middle of lunch crying - and admitted to Mikal that I'm just having such a hard time adjusting. Pop has been just plain old miserable to be around, although he's been super-sweet to me one-on-one. He has been bitching and complaining about everything, and it seems that everything out of his mouth has been tinted with sarcasm and malice. EXCEPT when he's been talking to me.
I love this man like a father, and would never want to hurt his feelings or upset him. Mikal said something to Scotty, Pop's business partner who is also living here, and I guess someone said something to Pop about me "wanting him out". So, he's gone for a walk right now, and I feel even MORE miserable than before. I can't stop crying, and just can't maintain that inner peace I've been striving so hard to keep. Hell, it was a lofty goal anyway...
I just don't know what to do. I think I should talk to Pop myself and let him know that it's not that I don't want him here because of any personal slight against him - I just want our life back (mine and Mikal's). We've been in close-quarters with Pop and Scotty since June 12, and with only 2 bedrooms it really has been taking its toll - on everyone.
So, this blog has been one big rant. I have so much to do that I've finally gotten into a state of non-motion. Mikal suggested I take a nap, so maybe that's what I'll do.
Until next time -
Mel