Forgiveness as a sin?
OK, so most of you know how much I really enjoy religious conversations/debates. I find myself now in a position where I'm expected to feel BAD about having forgiven someone! (insert shock here).
Backstory: my step-mom was emotionally (and sometimes mildly physically) abusive to me for a good number of years. I was between the ages of 4-8 when it was the worst (I was living with she and my dad during these years). Our severe dislike of each other (I actively hated her) lasted for a number of years. All told, we couldn't stand each other for 24 years. When my dad announced that he was divorcing her, she and I actually began to talk - and have become friends. I have forgiven her for being so rotten to me, and she has forgiven me for my behavior.
My dad ended up marrying a woman named who was Jewish. I had no problem with this, or her, for that matter. As long as Dad was happy, that's all that I cared about. Well, he was diagnosed with terminal cancer 8 months into their marriage. The longer he lived with his illness, and the worse his health deteriorated, the worse she was to his daughters. I know that she was coming from a place of fear, and fear makes us act in horrible ways sometimes. I was honest with her and confronted her on a couple of occasions. We had a respect for each other, if not an active appreciation. Once Dad died, we didn't talk for a couple of months.
I ended up sending her an e-mail outlining to her the nasty way she treated my dad's family and how she had alienated many people in the process. She never apologized for it, but she is sorry that she hurt people. Yes, this woman is a bit crazy, and I understand that about her. It's just the way she is.
I have forgiven this woman for what she did. I understand where she was coming from, and what had made her act the way she did. She is now very cool and loving towards me, as is my ex-step-mom before her. HOWEVER!!!!! The "family" (meaning my sisters and my ex-step-mom) can not understand how I have been able to forgive her for what she's done. This is what gets me: THEY are the Catholics, and I am not. Doesn't Catholicism teach that forgiveness is divine? Isn't that one of the great achievements?
I have forgiven just about anyone that has ever done me wrong. I would miss out on a lot in my life if I hadn't. The person that is closer to me than anyone else in the world did me wrong at one point in my life - and I have forgiven him for it. I wouldn't want for anyone else to be in my life the way he is.
Why is it that I get attitude from these "God-loving" people for forgiving someone? I forgave one of them, didn't I? It's OK to forgive someone that treated me horrible for 24 years, but not someone that treated me bad for 2-1/2 months? What gives?
Backstory: my step-mom was emotionally (and sometimes mildly physically) abusive to me for a good number of years. I was between the ages of 4-8 when it was the worst (I was living with she and my dad during these years). Our severe dislike of each other (I actively hated her) lasted for a number of years. All told, we couldn't stand each other for 24 years. When my dad announced that he was divorcing her, she and I actually began to talk - and have become friends. I have forgiven her for being so rotten to me, and she has forgiven me for my behavior.
My dad ended up marrying a woman named who was Jewish. I had no problem with this, or her, for that matter. As long as Dad was happy, that's all that I cared about. Well, he was diagnosed with terminal cancer 8 months into their marriage. The longer he lived with his illness, and the worse his health deteriorated, the worse she was to his daughters. I know that she was coming from a place of fear, and fear makes us act in horrible ways sometimes. I was honest with her and confronted her on a couple of occasions. We had a respect for each other, if not an active appreciation. Once Dad died, we didn't talk for a couple of months.
I ended up sending her an e-mail outlining to her the nasty way she treated my dad's family and how she had alienated many people in the process. She never apologized for it, but she is sorry that she hurt people. Yes, this woman is a bit crazy, and I understand that about her. It's just the way she is.
I have forgiven this woman for what she did. I understand where she was coming from, and what had made her act the way she did. She is now very cool and loving towards me, as is my ex-step-mom before her. HOWEVER!!!!! The "family" (meaning my sisters and my ex-step-mom) can not understand how I have been able to forgive her for what she's done. This is what gets me: THEY are the Catholics, and I am not. Doesn't Catholicism teach that forgiveness is divine? Isn't that one of the great achievements?
I have forgiven just about anyone that has ever done me wrong. I would miss out on a lot in my life if I hadn't. The person that is closer to me than anyone else in the world did me wrong at one point in my life - and I have forgiven him for it. I wouldn't want for anyone else to be in my life the way he is.
Why is it that I get attitude from these "God-loving" people for forgiving someone? I forgave one of them, didn't I? It's OK to forgive someone that treated me horrible for 24 years, but not someone that treated me bad for 2-1/2 months? What gives?