Fairy Tale Rewrite

[mellybean385]

So I finally finished my story this morning and sent it in by e-mail. For those who want to read it, there's a link to it below. I thought that it was way too large to put into LJ.

I would greatly appreciate any constructive criticism. Are there elements that make no sense? Any plot suggestions? Help with title (the current one stinks)?

http://www.geocities.com/mellybean385/fairytale.html