(no subject)
well we're leaving in about... 5 hours.
i really don't want to go back home. i miss my friends and everything but wow... i just come here and never ever want to leave.
this place is in my blood.. for real. it has been since i was a baby.
my aunt and uncle seriously talked to me about "moving in" with them in tuscaloosa and having a local address so i could get in-state tuition if i wanted to transfer.
they really shouldn't try to talk me into things like that because i'll just go for it if someone convinces me.
this has been a really good trip, though.
i regained a lot of mental clarity... visited with the relatives... got an actual tan... and most importantly to me, i went to the cemetary and had a talk with grandpa. i probably looked entirely crazy, but i don't care. i took the car out there by myself, sat down on the ground, and talked to him about everything that is bothering me.. everything i am scared of... everything that i need help with. i got really emotional and cried quite a bit. going to that cemetary brings me back to senior year when it all happened, and for the first time in my life i lost someone i was really close to.
i don't know... when i'm down here, i miss him a lot more.
this isn't meant to be a negative entry. going to the cemetary is actually a really good experience for me every time i go. kind of puts me at peace and makes me feel closer to him.
i'm babbling.
i want to just drop everything and pack up and move down here. there's no doubt in my mind that this is where i belong. this is where home is.. it's where i am the happiest. well.. i'd be the HAPPIEST a couple hundred miles east but that's neither here nor there.
point is, i should be living down here. i only regret a few things in my life, and one of them is this. i should have gone to alabama my freshman year like i planned on. then i got scared, backed out, and have regretted it ever since.
uuuuuuuughhhhhhhhh.
anyways, long car ride soon. i can't believe i have to leave already... :(
i really don't want to go back home. i miss my friends and everything but wow... i just come here and never ever want to leave.
this place is in my blood.. for real. it has been since i was a baby.
my aunt and uncle seriously talked to me about "moving in" with them in tuscaloosa and having a local address so i could get in-state tuition if i wanted to transfer.
they really shouldn't try to talk me into things like that because i'll just go for it if someone convinces me.
this has been a really good trip, though.
i regained a lot of mental clarity... visited with the relatives... got an actual tan... and most importantly to me, i went to the cemetary and had a talk with grandpa. i probably looked entirely crazy, but i don't care. i took the car out there by myself, sat down on the ground, and talked to him about everything that is bothering me.. everything i am scared of... everything that i need help with. i got really emotional and cried quite a bit. going to that cemetary brings me back to senior year when it all happened, and for the first time in my life i lost someone i was really close to.
i don't know... when i'm down here, i miss him a lot more.
this isn't meant to be a negative entry. going to the cemetary is actually a really good experience for me every time i go. kind of puts me at peace and makes me feel closer to him.
i'm babbling.
i want to just drop everything and pack up and move down here. there's no doubt in my mind that this is where i belong. this is where home is.. it's where i am the happiest. well.. i'd be the HAPPIEST a couple hundred miles east but that's neither here nor there.
point is, i should be living down here. i only regret a few things in my life, and one of them is this. i should have gone to alabama my freshman year like i planned on. then i got scared, backed out, and have regretted it ever since.
uuuuuuuughhhhhhhhh.
anyways, long car ride soon. i can't believe i have to leave already... :(