(no subject)
I hate it when I get so defensive and grouchy about things that really shouldnt bug me. I am sure there is a reason they bug me, a root cause that the person bugging me had nothing to do with. Case in point would be that the "object of my current affections" was teasing me about hurting myself due to the recent "probable" stress fracture on the top of my left foot. I have no idea what happened to cause this. I have been wearing good foot wear and no ridiculous heels. But it hurts the same, if not more than when I broke my elbow and even with the increased dosage in pain medication it still isnt doing anything. I guess it doesnt help matters that I spend half my day at work on my feet and then walk back and forth between work and school and then take the bus everywhere else. I did nothing that i can think of to hurt my foot, there are no bruises and the swelling isnt that bad. They arent sure what it is and they said that if the pain doesnt ease within a week then I will have to go for a bone scan of it because they couldnt see anything on the x-ray. Ok enough bitching about my stupid foot.
Ok just one more thing. Who has the Voo-doo doll of me and when are you going to stop????
I think that alot of the reason that I am upset with him is that no, i have not seen him in 6 days and I guess that is a bit irritating. yes, he has been working and yes it is shift so i can understand it. But last night he didnt work and ok he just wanted to stay home. thats ok and very understandable. And tonight he is going to play pool with his friends. The thing with that is I am sure if we werent dating then I would have been invited to go along. I used to be one of the guys and it was fun. I dont think he told any of them that we were datign and that he wants to keep them seperate. fine. My friends that have met him think it is good and they are more than welcoming of him and include him. I guess i am jealous and just want to hangout with him. Although he did say earlier today that i needed to be the center of attention all the time. not true. i can handle not being the center of attention. sure sometimes i like it, but other times i just want to be as far away from it as possible.
Maybe my being angry with him is hat my "drug" called me today. He wanted to see how i was doing and that i was still going to be ok with the whole breakup of my parents. I miss my drug. he helps me to forget what is bothering me and makes it about me. even if it is only for a couple of hours at a time. I mean i was getting very used to calling him and getting sex when i wanted it and he had that with me. I miss it.
Maybe that is what growing up is. Accepting that things arent perfect and really they never will be. you have to learn to compromise and not fall back into old habits because they can hurt other people. Does anyone have any advice to help me try to figure out this rut? I know that i really just have to be honest. honest with myself and with well both of them. I just dont want to slip up and hurt everyone involved.
Ok just one more thing. Who has the Voo-doo doll of me and when are you going to stop????
I think that alot of the reason that I am upset with him is that no, i have not seen him in 6 days and I guess that is a bit irritating. yes, he has been working and yes it is shift so i can understand it. But last night he didnt work and ok he just wanted to stay home. thats ok and very understandable. And tonight he is going to play pool with his friends. The thing with that is I am sure if we werent dating then I would have been invited to go along. I used to be one of the guys and it was fun. I dont think he told any of them that we were datign and that he wants to keep them seperate. fine. My friends that have met him think it is good and they are more than welcoming of him and include him. I guess i am jealous and just want to hangout with him. Although he did say earlier today that i needed to be the center of attention all the time. not true. i can handle not being the center of attention. sure sometimes i like it, but other times i just want to be as far away from it as possible.
Maybe my being angry with him is hat my "drug" called me today. He wanted to see how i was doing and that i was still going to be ok with the whole breakup of my parents. I miss my drug. he helps me to forget what is bothering me and makes it about me. even if it is only for a couple of hours at a time. I mean i was getting very used to calling him and getting sex when i wanted it and he had that with me. I miss it.
Maybe that is what growing up is. Accepting that things arent perfect and really they never will be. you have to learn to compromise and not fall back into old habits because they can hurt other people. Does anyone have any advice to help me try to figure out this rut? I know that i really just have to be honest. honest with myself and with well both of them. I just dont want to slip up and hurt everyone involved.